Ruby2

There will always be one more situation to celebrate by drinking. That's like saying "I'll quit tomorrow" every morning. It was only when I said "I'm quitting today" did it stick.

You want to remember your wedding. I assume you want to honour your new life. Celebrate it sober. Honestly, I was too busy running around visiting with people at my first wedding I didn't miss drinking.

Congrats on your wedding and in your decision to try sobriety.

tomsteve

i thought i had enough in 2002 after 2 years of a crack addiction was added to the alcohol consumption. crashed my truck, got fired and evicted in one week.
went to na.
then then fog wore off. brilliant thought came up that if i just get back to work ill be ok.
got back to work. 1st paycheck picked up a 40 ouncer. thought if i just dont smoke crack again ill be allright.
a week later i was getting a pint and 6 pack. until then i didnt mix the 2.
and everything got worse.
took 3 more years before i got sober.

from a story in the big book of aa:

I've been benefited from a dictionary definition I found that reads: "rationalization is giving a socially acceptable reason for socially unacceptable behavior, and socially unacceptable behavior is a form of insanity."

keeppushing

Nonsensical: If you accept the main stages of change model, then setting a date to quit as you move from preparation to action is apparently useful and important. It worked for me when I stopped smoking.

BUT! That is not what you are doing. 1. You have already begun action, 2. You are not setting an intention to stop but looking for an excuse to drink, 3. Making exceptions becomes a habit.

Everytime I make an excuse I end up regretting it.

Final note on your wedding: This is going to be one of the most important days of your life. If you recently had a wake up call as you say, do you really want to risk having another one in front of your spouse and family?

Best of luck and congratulations!

KP

Dee74

I missed a lot of weddings...I was there but I blacked out, acted like a jerk and more often than not had to be helped out and poured into a taxi.

I could not control my alcohol intake - I had no idea whether I would black out, drink till I passed out, or somehow managed not to be 'too bad'.

I'd hate for you to miss your wedding. Be smart. Start married life as you mean to continue - sober.

D

kittycat3

I agree w wise Dee - the best chance you have of being a fully present bride is to not drink. You will have fond memories to cherish, instead of regrets. Think about whether you have ever woken up and thought, man I wish I would have gotten drunk last night?? I have wished I wouldn't have gotten drunk countless times, but never once have I had a sober night and wished for the opposite.

EndGameNYC

My alcoholic thinking goes something like this...

Okay, so I'll drink at my wedding, and then think about quitting for good. I know everyone advises against it, it's probably best not to drink, but it's my wedding, and everyone drinks at their wedding. Since the wedding will be my last time (ahem), I might as well get rip-roaring drunk. But then there's the honeymoon. Who doesn't drink on his honeymoon? It's only a week. Plenty of time to get drinking out of my system.

(No honeymoon?) Well, I just got married. It's going to take time to adjust. I'll only continue drinking until this whole being married thing sets in. Or maybe I'll just have a few drinks now and then, ya know, until I feel completely okay about being married.

Nothing like starting a new life together in the worst possible way.

. . .

Does your fiancè know about your drinking problem?