I have never actually said the words
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 158
I have never actually said the words
My name is scared1234 and I'm an alcoholic. I have been since 2012. I need help and am terrified of the damage I'm causing to my body and mind. I havent had the willpower to stop for more than a week. I know if I stop now or at least dramatically decrease my intake, I will be ok but I lean on alcohols ability to make me feel good way too much and way too often. I am at the point now that I think I need to see a psychologist and a doctor who can maybe prescribe something to keep me away from alcohol. In the early years, I could drink all night, wake up and go to work and be merry. But nowadays my body hurts from the binge and my mind races with panic and anxiety. I fear I am going to die and I don't know what it's going to F**cking take for me to snap out of this nightmare
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
Don't wait for some catastrophe to snap you out of it Scraeed.
You can decide today not to drink anymore and you can start taking action to make that happen
You're more powerful than you know
D
You can decide today not to drink anymore and you can start taking action to make that happen
You're more powerful than you know
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Hi Scared ... welcome to the Pitiful & Incomprehensible side of being 'Alcoholic'.
The good news? There is also the fantastic state of Living in the 4th Dimension of existence, of soaking up the Sunlight of the Spirit, walking Hand-in-Hand with the Spirit of the Universe ...
All you have to do is ... Follow the Yellow Brick Road to Somewhere Over the Rainbow !!! Actually it is 'Follow the 12 Steps' to a completely New and Transformed Life. And ... it is for REAL.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2.
Ps - I drank for 40 Years, then STRUGGLED for a long time trying to get myself straightened out, I found out I couldn't fix my Sick Self with my Sick Self. Then I FINALLY worked the 12 Steps with the guidance of a Sponsor. I am now 2 Years SOBER and FREE.
The good news? There is also the fantastic state of Living in the 4th Dimension of existence, of soaking up the Sunlight of the Spirit, walking Hand-in-Hand with the Spirit of the Universe ...
All you have to do is ... Follow the Yellow Brick Road to Somewhere Over the Rainbow !!! Actually it is 'Follow the 12 Steps' to a completely New and Transformed Life. And ... it is for REAL.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2.
Ps - I drank for 40 Years, then STRUGGLED for a long time trying to get myself straightened out, I found out I couldn't fix my Sick Self with my Sick Self. Then I FINALLY worked the 12 Steps with the guidance of a Sponsor. I am now 2 Years SOBER and FREE.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I drank like you; Going four days without drinking, thinking 'I've go this licked. I don't have a problem'.
But the binges got closer together and longer in the amount consumed and duration.
I even became afraid to stop drinking because I knew what lay ahead for me- The fear, debilitating anxiety and remorse of how could I have done this again??
This went on for years until I was drinking shots of whiskey at 8am to start the day, then onward to the beer for the remainder of consciousness.
I needed help. Despite all my best intensions, swearing it off, solemn vows and dumping it out, I could not stop on my own.
I went to an AA meeting, and believe me, it wasn't easy to walk through those doors. I met others who were staying successfully sober. I prayed.
I came here and found even more people.
I had some slips, but I never gave up trying, if I would have it would have meant live on the streets and death. I was that bad.
You've taken a big step in admitting you may have a problem. I remember so well the first time I said my name and that I am an alcoholic. People here and at AA understood. I had found hope.
That was over four and a half years ago for this drunk.
You can do it, too. It takes willingness and an open mind.
You can do it. I've been given a reprieve from alcohol one day at a time.
If you're willing to do whatever it takes, there's hope.
I wish you the best.
But the binges got closer together and longer in the amount consumed and duration.
I even became afraid to stop drinking because I knew what lay ahead for me- The fear, debilitating anxiety and remorse of how could I have done this again??
This went on for years until I was drinking shots of whiskey at 8am to start the day, then onward to the beer for the remainder of consciousness.
I needed help. Despite all my best intensions, swearing it off, solemn vows and dumping it out, I could not stop on my own.
I went to an AA meeting, and believe me, it wasn't easy to walk through those doors. I met others who were staying successfully sober. I prayed.
I came here and found even more people.
I had some slips, but I never gave up trying, if I would have it would have meant live on the streets and death. I was that bad.
You've taken a big step in admitting you may have a problem. I remember so well the first time I said my name and that I am an alcoholic. People here and at AA understood. I had found hope.
That was over four and a half years ago for this drunk.
You can do it, too. It takes willingness and an open mind.
You can do it. I've been given a reprieve from alcohol one day at a time.
If you're willing to do whatever it takes, there's hope.
I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
This affliction we have involves a very powerful toxic substance called alcohol. Powerful, baffling, insidious and cunning along with being progressive drinking it or not.
I needed to get honest with myself about MY drinking and ACCEPT the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row.
That might be considered the easy part, like it or not we need to work on changing our inner reasons for drinking which usually are our feelings, habits, fears, insecurities and other escape triggers we have built in.
It’s not something to be dreaded as it results in a freedom we sought from alcohol for a long time. Many call it being happy, joyous and free.
BE WELL
This affliction we have involves a very powerful toxic substance called alcohol. Powerful, baffling, insidious and cunning along with being progressive drinking it or not.
I needed to get honest with myself about MY drinking and ACCEPT the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row.
That might be considered the easy part, like it or not we need to work on changing our inner reasons for drinking which usually are our feelings, habits, fears, insecurities and other escape triggers we have built in.
It’s not something to be dreaded as it results in a freedom we sought from alcohol for a long time. Many call it being happy, joyous and free.
BE WELL
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Scared1234 
I am at the point now that I think I need to see a psychologist and a doctor who can maybe prescribe something to keep me away from alcohol.
Another option might be to remove yourself from alcohol. Inpatient rehab. Have no access to alcohol while you work on gathering the tools to remain sober.
If you are truly ready to quit, be willing to go to whatever lengths to do so.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
Wishing you the best.. Hope you see your doctors and get a recovery plan together.. Alcoholism is very progressive, it was like a light switch with me.. You can live with out the stuff.. glad you posted, keep reading and ask for help if needed, theres a lot of good information and people on this site!!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Seeing your doctor and psychologist would be a great first step, Scared.
Formulating a recovery plan which keeps your sobriety front and center and the #1 priority in your life would be another great step.
You have the power to achieve sobriety. As Dee said, you are stronger than you think.
Formulating a recovery plan which keeps your sobriety front and center and the #1 priority in your life would be another great step.
You have the power to achieve sobriety. As Dee said, you are stronger than you think.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 158
Soberwolf and Dee have both suggested writing up a plan and being ready for when a trigger happens. I am going to do that today and be very vigilant. I don't want to drink anymore. If I can build up enough sober days, I know one day I'll wake up and the AV will never be able to be stronger than my sober voice
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