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New Here - My Plan

Old 08-26-2015, 09:39 AM
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New Here - My Plan

Hi everyone,

Long time lurker, but new to the posting side of things. I've been taking a shot at recovery for a few years now, with no real success to speak of. The longest I've gone has been a few weeks, which gets me feeling great about myself, but then I get back on the beer train which leads me back to square one. A familiar story to many on here I'm sure. I've been reading a lot of recovery books, checking out different online forums and that kind of thing, and one thing that seems to be lacking in my life is connecting with people fighting the same battle as I am. Although I've been lurking here, I haven't really connected with any of you, and I think that might be one of the things holding me back.

Basically, I have a pretty damn good life. My fiance has put up with a lot due to my drinking, though - but she's still with me and I have decided to quit the booze while the going is still good. I have two young children, who depend on me to have it together. I am 100% certain that drinking is an addictive behavior for me, and I'm taking all the steps I can to fix this before it gets even worse than it's gotten in the past - which has been bad. Oh, I've done incredible amounts of stupid things while drinking, but I still have a shot, so I'm going to take it.

Anyway, I'd like to say hello to everyone here, and hopefully post on these forums regularly. I'm on my fouth day of sobriety right now, which is pretty good for me. The weekends are always rough though, and I heard one of those is fast approaching, seeing how it's Wednesday and all, but I think I'll be alright. I don't want to get over-confident, but I am hoping to approach this in the right way so that I can succeed this time where other times I've failed.

I've actually put together a bit of a "plan", which is one piece of advice I see a lot of people talk about to newcomers on this forum. Here is my preliminary plan, maybe I can get some advice or feedback on this since it's my first real shot at putting one together:

1. Commit to sobriety

I have fully committed to sobriety. I realize that I cannot drink responsibility, in moderation, or without consequence. I am far past that point. The only option for me is complete abstinence.

2. Get active in a mutual-support fellowship.

I started writing a recovery blog, which has been kind of cool. You get to meet other "bloggers" and I feel a real sense of community there, which has helped me out these past few days. I think I'm going to stick with that. I have also joined the SMART Recovery online community, which has been fantastic. I really enjoy their perspective on things, it fits my beliefs perfectly. And, of course, I now have S.R.

3. Read recovery books.

I will read as many recovery and addiction books as I possibly can. This helps me by keeping the recovery and sobriety state of mind clear in my head.

4. Placing recovery before anything else in my life.

Without sobriety, nothing else in my life matters. The pyramid of values falls apart and there is one thing and one thing only - drinking. Unless I combat this by placing sobriety as my number one priority, there will be no room for my other values in my HOV.

Anyway, probably not the most interesting of posts, but in a way it's therapeutic for me to post this. I am now "actively" pursuing recovery, whereas the times before I was much more passive.

Have a great day everyone.

Jimmy
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Old 08-26-2015, 09:46 AM
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Welcome to the posting side of SR, Jimmy; glad you are here.

Great plan - especially putting recovery first in your life.
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Old 08-26-2015, 09:50 AM
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Welcome. Sounds like you are off to a great start and with a good attitude.
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Old 08-26-2015, 09:51 AM
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Welcome to the posting side Jimmy. Congrats on 4 days. This site has been a life line for me. Reach out any time you feel you are having a tough time or about to cave. Give us the chance to help when you need it.

Staying connected to this community really helped me early on and keeps helping me every day.

Glad you found us.
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Old 08-26-2015, 09:52 AM
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Thanks everyone.
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Old 08-26-2015, 10:02 AM
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welcome to the posting side

Great decision and great plan, #1 is a great foundation and the most needed, take that and 'mean it all the way down' and it will become your default setting
wish you well and hope to see you around
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Old 08-26-2015, 10:09 AM
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Hi Jimmy,
I'm glad you're here! SR is awesome! I like your plan, mine is similar!
Interestingly, we have the same sobriety date. Let's not change it!
I don't want to go back to square 1 again.
The book I am currently reading is 'First year Sobriety' by Guy Kettelhack.
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Old 08-26-2015, 10:10 AM
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Hi Jimmy,

I'm glad you're committed to sobriety and that you've decided to post.

Your plan looks good and writing a blog should be very helpful.
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Old 08-26-2015, 10:57 AM
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Thanks Anna. I look forward to being more active on these forums!
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Old 08-26-2015, 10:58 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Jimmy!!
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Old 08-26-2015, 11:08 AM
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Welcome! I'm pretty new too. And I lurked for a long time before joining. You are very wise to quit while the wheels are still on the wagon. If you are alcoholic, which I believe you think you are, your condition will worsen. It can happen quickly or very slowly, but progressive it is. You don't have to lose everything if you just stop now. Good on you!
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Old 08-26-2015, 11:35 AM
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Welcome to SR Jimmy!

I really like your plan. So much so I wanted to ask which tool you use to write your blog / share it out? I write a personal journal / blog and a personal progress thread on here, but I'd never though of putting my journal out for others to read and likewise for me to interact with their blogs.

B
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Old 08-26-2015, 12:16 PM
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Welcome! I'm also a former 'lurker' and I'm finally manning up and posting tonight.

That sounds like a great plan; best of luck with it.

I also struggle with weekends so I am trying to ensure I work every weekend for the next few weeks; no excuses. I'll be making money and avoiding temptation in one fell swoop.
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Old 08-26-2015, 12:21 PM
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Nice to meet you Jimmy
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Old 08-26-2015, 12:47 PM
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Welcome Jimmy. I also lurked here awhile before actually posting and did so on or about my 4th day in as well. I've read many opening threads and can usually tell by the tone of the thread which people are serious about sobriety and ready to do the hard work to attain it and those who are merely hungover and wishing they could continue drinking without consequences. You belong to the former group and because of that, you will succeed.

CF

Last edited by Calicofish; 08-26-2015 at 12:49 PM. Reason: missed a word
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Old 08-26-2015, 03:17 PM
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Glad you're here SJ, welcome.
Most of us here would still be drinking if we could have avoided the consequences. We typically did not get here on a winning streak and had to truly face the issues that lead us to drinking and the results of our escapades.

For me, drinking was the solution to my problems, or so I thought. In sobriety I learn from others how to deal with life and problems sans booze.

We are all on this journey together and to help each other by sharing our experience, strength and hope. Glad you joined us and look forward to having you around!
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Old 08-26-2015, 03:21 PM
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Hi Jimmy. Great plan. Glad you have joined us. We are a friendly bunch and you will find lots of support here.
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Old 08-26-2015, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberJimmy View Post
Hi everyone,

Long time lurker, but new to the posting side of things. I've been taking a shot at recovery for a few years now, with no real success to speak of. The longest I've gone has been a few weeks, which gets me feeling great about myself, but then I get back on the beer train which leads me back to square one. A familiar story to many on here I'm sure. I've been reading a lot of recovery books, checking out different online forums and that kind of thing, and one thing that seems to be lacking in my life is connecting with people fighting the same battle as I am. Although I've been lurking here, I haven't really connected with any of you, and I think that might be one of the things holding me back.

Basically, I have a pretty damn good life. My fiance has put up with a lot due to my drinking, though - but she's still with me and I have decided to quit the booze while the going is still good. I have two young children, who depend on me to have it together. I am 100% certain that drinking is an addictive behavior for me, and I'm taking all the steps I can to fix this before it gets even worse than it's gotten in the past - which has been bad. Oh, I've done incredible amounts of stupid things while drinking, but I still have a shot, so I'm going to take it.

Anyway, I'd like to say hello to everyone here, and hopefully post on these forums regularly. I'm on my fouth day of sobriety right now, which is pretty good for me. The weekends are always rough though, and I heard one of those is fast approaching, seeing how it's Wednesday and all, but I think I'll be alright. I don't want to get over-confident, but I am hoping to approach this in the right way so that I can succeed this time where other times I've failed.

I've actually put together a bit of a "plan", which is one piece of advice I see a lot of people talk about to newcomers on this forum. Here is my preliminary plan, maybe I can get some advice or feedback on this since it's my first real shot at putting one together:

1. Commit to sobriety

I have fully committed to sobriety. I realize that I cannot drink responsibility, in moderation, or without consequence. I am far past that point. The only option for me is complete abstinence.

2. Get active in a mutual-support fellowship.

I started writing a recovery blog, which has been kind of cool. You get to meet other "bloggers" and I feel a real sense of community there, which has helped me out these past few days. I think I'm going to stick with that. I have also joined the SMART Recovery online community, which has been fantastic. I really enjoy their perspective on things, it fits my beliefs perfectly. And, of course, I now have S.R.

3. Read recovery books.

I will read as many recovery and addiction books as I possibly can. This helps me by keeping the recovery and sobriety state of mind clear in my head.

4. Placing recovery before anything else in my life.

Without sobriety, nothing else in my life matters. The pyramid of values falls apart and there is one thing and one thing only - drinking. Unless I combat this by placing sobriety as my number one priority, there will be no room for my other values in my HOV.

Anyway, probably not the most interesting of posts, but in a way it's therapeutic for me to post this. I am now "actively" pursuing recovery, whereas the times before I was much more passive.

Have a great day everyone.

Jimmy
The plan is all solid but what I would add and what have worked for me for over two years is to take a mental inventory and to sit down and really make a decision that you don't want to drink anymore. Not merely abstaining, You have to get it in your heart that you don't want to drink and that you are not going to feel sorry for yourself when you see others drink or when you have to say no thanks I don't drink. If you have any mental doubts about this keep working on that decision. Once you get to the point that you are not sad about not drinking anymore you are on your way to success. This has worked for me and I have tried quitting with AA, and other conventional methods for the better part of 30 years but nothing stuck.
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Old 08-26-2015, 03:30 PM
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I'm really glad you found us, Jimmy. I enjoyed your post - it helps so much to share these thoughts with each other. No one in my life understood, the way my friends here have. Not feeling alone anymore meant everything to me.

You're going to do this, Jimmy.
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Old 08-26-2015, 03:52 PM
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Welcome. Great post. Superb plan.

Just what I needed today.

Wasn't going to drink today at all anyway, but when I read something so current, it makes my surrender to sobriety relevant.

I understand how the old timers here get tired of posting the same strategies day in and day out. I'm tired of doing it after only a month.

Bottom line for me....Booze fries my brain ....No thanks....like my brain nice and normal.

Well done sir. Proud to be sober.
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