notdoingfine

And I feel absolutely horrible about it and hopeless. I'm so down on myself.

lessgravity

What happened?

What can you do differently?

Do you have a plan?

Stay strong.

Findingtheway

First things First. You accomplished almost 90 sober days.

You did that. It doesn't go away. Be proud of that. And use it as proof going forward you CAN do this.

I relapsed myself over this past new years...Had 87 straight sober days, and well drank again...And had a week from HELL...Non stop drinking.

Support helped pulled me out of that nose dive...And well i'm at about 7.5 months sober now.

Support is key. I can't stay sober on my own. Have you tried AA?

You CAN do this.

notdoingfine

It's hard to say what happened. Wasn't craving. Was kind of sick in fact. Next thing I know I'm drunk.

What the hell is wrong with me. Why did I throw it away?

Trees39

It will be okay. What you've learnt over the 90 days is still yours and you will put it to good use on the next 100! That's the important thing.
Don't feel beat. Go again.

Soberwolf

Don't beat yourself up revise your plan can I ask do you have a plan

ElleDee

Don't be down on yourself! That doesn't help. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and get back on the wagon! You had a stumble. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Anna

90 days sober is great.

It could have been the fact that you ere 'under the weather' that made you vulnerable. Pick yourself up, learn from the experience and move on.

Fly N Buy

Have you considered outside help?? That decision made all the difference for me - I had to have additional support. My will power simply was not enough in regards to quitting alcohol.

Keep working, most of us have been where you are until we decided to change our approach. Even then we had to reach that point of readiness.........

90 days is great - keep trying!~

Coldfusion

It's good that you have come here and posted. Now make some positive steps towards recovery--how about joining the 24-Hour Club, or posting in the "Class of August 2015" thread?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5509946

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5516193

notdoingfine

I have a plan for craving. It passes pretty quickly. What I'm not sure I have a plan for is the absolute weirdness of doing something I really don't want to do or enjoy. Finding myself doing that is so messed up. I really hate myself right now.

Findingtheway

Drinking caused some VERY warped/skewed thinking for me...

I too at the end didn't even enjoy drinking anymore...But still it had it's claws in me something fierce.

One good tip i've learned...BEFORE you act on ANY impulse/idea check with someone else first (a sponsor has helped dramatically with this...)

I've asked about various things...My reactions to relationship issues, should i go to a baseball game? (Where i used to drink..)...How to go to a friend's wedding and not drink...It all comes together.

It's a PLAN. We are responsible for taking ACTION.

Hypernova

You have 90 days to build on, all is not lost. Start over and figure out what you need to do differently. You can do this!

notdoingfine

And I think it has cost me a relationship with a pretty wonderful woman. I am truly hating myself right now.

Delfin

NDF, this is exactly what my drinking was like for a long time. Almost like a moth being mindlessly drawn to a flame. I've had to really change myself and be more present so that I can catch myself before I'm burned again. I'm very very aware of HALT too because I find that's what was behind a lot of my drinking.

It's great that you are back here. ((Hugs))

Delfin