Aellyce

Congrats on getting through this challenging time

The anniversary thing... I did not feel like drinking per se but I felt pretty restless and a little crazy around my one year mark. (I am just past 19 months now.) I am not 100% sure it had much to do with the actual anniversary now in retrospect as I felt that way off and on a few times during my first year. I discussed this with sober people back then, but in the end I actually found thinking too much about my anniversary counterproductive as that thinking did not only give me useful caution but also made me question my progress and confidence. I agree with Anna's suggestion though. Maybe set up something nice and sober as a reward for yourself for your anniversary and keep thinking about that. I celebrated mine on a nice trip and decided that I will keep acknowledging it in each year with something that I enjoy. If you feel the need add something new to your recovery arsenal as well.

ccam1973

Hawk, fantastic job on making it through the tough situation at work. You did great.

I'm heading into 14 months and i have to say I did have a tough time just over the year mark. I came so close to drinking again that I actually bought a bottle of Whiskey on a trip late July. A friend of mine who was on the trip with me; and knew that I wasn't drinking; kept me from opening that bottle. He is a strong person, an ex-Marine and I can still see the look in his eyes when he just shook his head and told me don't do it. Thankfully he was with me and thankfully I listened.

I've spent a ton of time the past month really trying to remember where that first drink will bring me to. Our minds want to revert back to the notion that a few drinks really won't be all that bad. That's such a lie.

Only bad things come when alcoholics drink. Nothing good. I am happy where I am at now, I never want to be the person I was when I was drinking.

You did everything right to stay strong at work when you were being tested at every corner. You can do the same thing as you approach your year anniversary. Always remember why you are staying sober today and lean on us as much as you need.

Well done!

Hawk07

It was actually the death of my mother that initially made me seek out sobriety. It was 5 years ago 3 days before christmas. I woke up on a Sunday in pain with one of the worst hangovers from a bottle of gin the night before. I was supposed to meet my mother because she wanted to buy me a new couch for christmas and we were going to go shopping for one that day. As I lay there thinking about what to tell her this time as to why I had to cancel yet again my phone rang. It was my parents and I thought it was her calling to ask me where I was. I didn't answer. Then it rang twice more and on the 3rd time I picked up. It was my father and he told me to sit down and brace myself, my mother had passed away, in her sleep. I needed to go over right away, police were there and wanted to speak to me which is the custom in unexpected sudden deaths.
On top of the hangover my whole being went into shock. I drove over shaking like a leaf the entire drive. Got out of the car at the house, threw up in a bush as soon as I got out and then had to walk inside to be interviewed by the police.
I vowed to get sober after that. And here I am finally after a 5 year struggle. I believe my mother is my higher power and gives me strength each day to remain sober.

hpdw

Thank you for this .

hpdw

Well done Hawk07

Dee74

Glad to hear from you Hawk - glad all is well

Things are pretty much the same all year round where I love, but one year is a time where some folks get a little loopy.

Don't lose your head and keep doing what you've been doing...you'll be ok

D
D

Verte

Thanks for the update, Hawk. It is always good to read your shares. This month has been a serious accomplishment for you. Very nice!

Around the one year mark I felt relief at having made it through all the seasons of a year - slaps, surprises, flooding of memories - mixed with the big question mark of 'what now?' I felt like I knew a little bit more of what I was heading into and had more confidence and firm footing for the surprises that life inevitably throws our way.

In honesty, with this confidence came moments of complacency and a dangerous nonchalance regarding the seriousness of having 'just one'. Coming here to SR reminds me of all the darkest moments and destruction that cannot be separated from the entirety of my experience with alcohol. I need the reminder that there is no such thing as 'just one'.

Glad you are here. Take a huge bow!