Soberwolf

Great post

savarna

well said sweet, its always trying to screw us over, its tyring

jryan19982

That high bottom spells me to a T. No DUI, no health issues yet, havent lost a job, spouse, kids, etc... But I dont want to see that low bottom. So hopefully my rock bottom stays high...

DitzyDandelion

I dont know where my bottom falls on the scale. No trouble with the law didn't have a job most the worst years to lose. But perhaps kept me in a violent situation and cost me a chance at happiness with someone I did care for. Those years had many rock bottoms. for me many are rock bottoms just because I said I would never let drunk me back out of her cage. Never risk the destructive and totally out of character things she does. I hate knowing that was me out there behaving so unlike me. But no matter how terrified I was of her and what she would do I kept letting her out. It's not so much always a new low as a letting it happen again and the disgust I would dare risk unleashing that upon the world and my loved ones.

DitzyDandelion

I was finally offered a glimmer of hope that I could actually be happy and I had to just let drunk me out again and she destroyed it. Completely. I guess that is the final rock bottom.

bexxed

My most recent bottom was drinking, out of control, again, when I had something for work in the morning, and frankly blacking out. I can remember bits and pieces, so maybe that's a brown out, but there are some things I just don't remember. Saying things that I wish I hadn't said, and didn't even mean, being egotistical and cruel to someone I love when they were in a vulnerable place. A week or so before, driving while very drunk and not even knowing I was until I answered a call from my sister (while driving) and heard my slurred speech and her concerned voice.

I didn't crash, I didn't lose my license, I didn't do any permanent damage. I still have my job, and I spent all of August 1 totally hung over, puking... another day wasted. I chose to be angry about things that didn't matter, for months and months and months before that bottom.

All of the last year+ has been a bottom. One long angry depressed self pitying pitiful bottom. I'm trying to climb out, carefully, slowly, being aware of my surroundings as I do it. Your post helped me today. Thanks.

DitzyDandelion

I completely understand. It is often not that one defining event though I am sure if we look back we could maybe drag out a few worst moments. It is the accumulated damage and the tiring of becoming that dreadful person. Followed by the just feeling sick and disgusted.

DoubleDragons

Excellent post! I keep a sobriety journal and in that journal is a list of every stupid, embarrassing, demeaning, scary, dangerous, unhealthy unkind, etc. thing I did when I was under the influence of alcohol. And you are right . . . .sometimes I marvel that any one of these events would have easily been someone else's rock bottom and they would not have kept going and going.

Ghosts31

Well said DitzyDandelion.

~Lia~

When I looked in the mirror, I saw death. I told myself "Lia, don't you know you died 5 months ago. You're not here."

Rock bottom wasn't an event, it was a feeling

nomis

I believe it was the late, great Robin Williams who once said "Alcoholics violate their own morals faster than they can lower them."