JK130

Hi all, I've been reading and responding a bit in the last week or so, and as a noobie, I am so grateful for this site and the people who share their experiences.

I am recently retired, and 95 days free from very heavy alcohol use for a very long time.

My questions...For you, were there times during the sobriety journey when it was easier to go off plan/harder to stay on plan? Is relapse more likely at x number of days/weeks/months/years of sobriety? Are there milestones where I should anticipate more challenges and be extra vigilant?

I'm planning to "stay the course".

sugarbear1

every 30 days, our bodies change, be wary around these times......

Dee74

Hi JK

A lot of people report a bit of wobbliness around the date cycle - 30 60 90 days, 6 months, a year etc.....but a lot of others are fine.

if you feel you need extra support right now, then by all means find it and use it - what have you got to lose?

D

Alynn

I've done this twice this year. 89 days and 162 days. I let myself think about it fist and drifted from SR and other support. Stay close to all support. When you start feeling you don't need it, that's when you need it the most

thomas11

I think you'll get a variety of answers, but I know of one person on this site who pretty much documented his journey, and once he quit...he quit. Never wrote about struggling with cravings much, he had his mind made up. My point is that its possible to move on relatively painlessly, but I think its rare.

Venecia

No, it's not painless, as Thomas notes, but it is 100 percent doable.

Looks like you and I have something in common, JK, as I also joined SR after having gone sober about 62 days earlier. It was getting tough, but that all subsided dramatically once I was here.

I can only give you my perspective on milestones: In the early months, they're 90 percent cause for celebration, 10 percent cause for a higher state of alert. There was that teensy voice in me saying "anyone who can go 90 (or 120) days without booze must not have had much of a problem ... go ahead, you can drink." Then, I'd think back on my life over the last 12+ years and I snapped out of that delusion pretty quickly.

There have been random thoughts here and there, but they're largely fleeting. Knowing that's there's an army of support on SR helps a lot, as does reading the forums as often as possible -- pretty much daily. The resources here on SR are superb, including:

1) Online meetings at 8 p.m. CST on Tuesdays and Fridays. They're a great way to get real-time support and extend the same to others.

2) The monthly classes. If my math is correct, you'd be part of the class of May, 2015. Just drop in. That's what I did even though I wasn't there from the start. My class has been an important part of my life ever since. To your point about milestones, celebrating ours together -- and keeping each other on track during big days and just any old day -- has been helpful beyond words.

Congrats on coming this far! I'm sure that there is more free time on your hands and you want to live it in its fullest. Enjoy retirement and sobriety! They sound like a good mix!

freshstart57

Any moment when you could choose to drink, is one of those present moments. In the now.

My advice is simply to commit to being sober now - always. For good. Never now drink. Something like that.

Soberwolf

Ive heard of this but its never really affected me i was told when i was approaching 8-9 months to be wary but thats it

NestWasEmpty

Three years ago I had 8 months sober , I missed my old partying buddies
I found in the end there was nothing to Miss

LBrain

I've had periods of "time" when I wanted to drink over 18 months.

Here is the milestone you really need to watch out for. It's the day you wake up and feel confident you got this thing licked. When you think you won is the time to be the most aware. Call it letting your guard down, over confidence or whatever, this is the time when many people fail.

NestWasEmpty

When I really stop & think on this . I know I start feeling Um jittery , less in control when Spring hits . That's what happened in my 8 months sober . People starting to do more outside things .
The Booze is showing is coming outside . In the winter most people are drinking inside . Yes !!??

PurpleKnight

Until I had reached 1 Year I was always nervous, as there are specific times in the year that are challenging, you have the occasions of birthdays, weddings, funerals, anniversaries, work nights out.

. . . and then there are the holidays, Xmas, New Years, St Patricks Day, for you Americans Thanksgiving, Independence Day.

Then being a huge sports fan alcohol was a routine when it came to the NFL season, the Super bowl, the NHL season, my local Ice Hockey League, golf tournaments, big boxing fights, Champions League Soccer etc etc

Soo until I had gone a full year of Sobriety I was always panicking about the next "event" or "holiday", but in a way the worst thing I could have done was to be complacent about these things, getting specific plans together nice and early, turning occasions down.

After going through it all once you know you're onto something when it comes to your Sobriety!!

Hawk07

I'm at 9 months now and I'd agree with purple night. There are a lot of 'firsts' within that one year mark which means I'm on guard.. I think ahead and avoid certain situations that I think might be too much to handle. But then there are certain situations you can't prepare for....people can trigger cravings.. Like when I ran into my ex at the grocery on new years eve. Double whammy. The first 3 months were the most difficult for me. Thats about how long it took me to really start to embrace sobriety and realize how much better I was feeling. This time around I also splurged on a 3 month gym membership at a high end gym with a sauna room and lots of other fancy amenities.. I would 'retreat' there often when the cravings hit and relax in the sauna or get a good workout. Exercise does wonders.
I had many relapses in the beginning never making it past 3 months. I honestly don't know what make it stick this time around and sometimes that worries me... Something clicked... I simply couldn't face another day of waking up hung-over and feeling like I might die. I was really scared.
Now experiencing how wonderful life is sober I do everything in my power to remain so.

alphaomega

Im at 7 months and have found the change of seasons seem to affect me more than specific sobriety days accumulated.

I was so sick when I got sober on 1/2/15, the winter was pretty ok as far as cravings. I had done such a number on my body, it took a solid 3-4 months before I even felt human again. So drinking wasn't even really on the radar.

Spring came and brought its own set of challenges. But nothing would prepare me for summer. I genuinely longed for lazy days sent sipping wine on patios.

Of course, that's all a bold face AV lie. Because I never sipped, I gulped. And would black out shortly after I started. But it tempted me in ways I had to really stay on top in order to remain sober.

I expect fall with cooking and hunkering down will bring more challenges. As will winter and the (DUh DUh DUH) holidays. ((((SHUDDER)))

Andante

There are of course exceptions, but the general rule seems to be that the longer you’re abstinent, the better your chances are of staying sober.

I remember hearing about the extra "danger" at intervals of 30 days, 90 days, 6 months, 1 year, etc., when I first started looking into into recovery but didn’t experience it myself and haven’t seen it reflected as a trend in relapse posts here on SR.

I relapsed a lot before I finally quit for good, but it didn’t follow any pattern except length of time. I had a zillion “day ones,” a bunch of “day 10s,” a handful of “day 30s,” a couple “day 50s,” and one “day 150” or so before I finally quit for good (around “day 870” now).

The important thing to remember is that you never have to have a “day one” again if you really want to stay sober more than you want to get drunk, and you do whatever it takes to keep that priority straight.

Congrats on "day 95," by the way!

On The Road

JK - First off, congrats to 95 days!

Here's what I know about myself: I'll drink when I'm happy, or when I'm sad, when it's sunny outside, or raining, I'll drink for excitement, or when I'm bored, I'll drink because the freaking sky's blue - so I don't deviate from my plan. I'm "all-in" committed and can't afford to think any differently than that.

Denial101

This is sooo true for me too. Thanks for that. I'm no where near you guys. Just started day 2. But the title of this thread caught my eye. I have a lot of things to overcome yet. I will do them one by one. Yesterday (day one) which I haven't even had for over a year, but tried a number of times, so this is accomplishment for me…I went : 1) to my basement, passed the bar, urge to drink, didn't. 2) worked long hours in my office (when I used t drink, especially late at night), but didn't. 3) it was raining (I would have used to drink), didn't. 4) the sun came out later, celebrate with a drink, I would have thought! I didn't. 5) went to the gym got a great workout. Where I normally would've rewarded myself with a drink, I didn't. 6) came home, my daughter got sick, STRESS! I didn't drink. It does on and on. Its little things in your mind ALL the time, and coping mechanism that seems to be such a routine for me. Forget about all the holidays and upcoming events I'm going to have to learn to re-be. (is that a word?) It scares me. But I want it so bad, and I'm glad to have you all!!!

2WheelsGood

I think for me it's nearing the most recent goal. When I reached one week I felt relieved and tempted. Yay! No problem.... Then again at 1 month. I'll be at 90 days, my current goal, right around my birthday next month and while we're on vacation. I have already given myself notice to tread lightly.

I know we should all swear off alcohol forever from day one, but for some of us we need attainable goals. I need them, even though I move the goal posts each time. After 90 days it will be 180 days and so on....

aasharon90

Stay on course. Use the tools and knowledge
learned in a recovery program and incorporate
it in all areas of your life.

I live my AA recovery program taught to
me 24 yrs ago, 25 yrs tomorrow 8-11-90,
consisting of steps and principles to guide
me along my journey in life.

I remain teachable, willing, openminded
to all new and old ways of learning to
remain sober each day.

You can too.

SwimKim12

Hi, All. I just relapsed at three and a half months. Back on the wagon at day four. I noticed around two and a half months that the AV got really loud. Many days I was able to fend it off, but it finally got to me last Thursday and I drank. And it was horrible and I never want to do it again. I'm revising my sober plan so that I can stay sober forever. A mistake I made is that I thought once I made it 90 days it would get easier. It didn't, and I didn't give my sobriety the focus I needed to to stay sober. As many others stated, you must always be vigilant. The AV is a tricky thing, but you are the one who is in control of it. Best of luck to you!