Its about to get real....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Its about to get real....
11 months. Creeping up on a year. Everything I have complained about on here for the past year is coming to an epic end. My drunken boss tried to steal our tip money Saturday, had a temper tantrum, raised his hand to me and spent the next day telling people he was gunning for me...so I quit yesterday. I was warned by others not to go to work alone. It's not worth it. My daughter went to visit her father and while she was gone, significant other, on his 5 day bender, pissed in her bed. As she was visiting, she told her father about his drinking. I was threatened with CPS and court papers in my near future. Who knows what her father will do, it doesn't matter, she stays with me and no man will come before her. And my truck is falling apart. This is it. The universe, god, creator...whatever, is forcing me to take this stuff head on. I'm nervous...but I'm going to make it. This is what I have been working towards...a new life. Everything will be ok. Right?
Jennifer
Jennifer
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
That's a lot on your plate Jennifer, but it sounds as if you are handling it all as well as you can. Everything has a MUCH better chance of being OK as long as you continue on your current path of sobriety and responsibility. It's great to hear you taking these things on and making it through them...a real testament to what we can do when we put our efforts into it and quit drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
I am so sorry, Jennifer. That is a lot to be hit with at once. But can you imagine how much worse it would all be if YOU were the drunk one?
So, let's take the problem one at a time.
Problem 1. You had to quit a crappy job. It sounds like you are a server. And it sounds like you are better off not working for a thieving, violent drunk. Don't you think? Find another job. ASAP. This was a blessing in disguise.
Problem 2. Your SO pee'd in your daughter's bed. Flip the mattress, be thankful that your daughter wasn't around to witness the bender, and think about whether SO should be shown the door. He doesn't sound like he is good for you. Or for your daughter. In the meantime, recognize that Child Protection is not going to step in unless your child is at serious risk. And your remaining sober will guard against that. Your drinking again will make that CPS visit much more likely. And maybe even inevitable.
Problem 3. Your truck is falling apart. Mine is too. Ask around to find a trustworthy auto mechanic. That make take some effort. The trustworthy ones can be hard to find. See how much money you are able to scrape together, then ask the mechanic to prioritize what work needs to be done, and pay for the work that you can afford.
IMHO your being sober and facing these problems still suggest to me a better future for you than if you were still drinking. A much better future.
Good luck with your situation. We are here for you.
So, let's take the problem one at a time.
Problem 1. You had to quit a crappy job. It sounds like you are a server. And it sounds like you are better off not working for a thieving, violent drunk. Don't you think? Find another job. ASAP. This was a blessing in disguise.
Problem 2. Your SO pee'd in your daughter's bed. Flip the mattress, be thankful that your daughter wasn't around to witness the bender, and think about whether SO should be shown the door. He doesn't sound like he is good for you. Or for your daughter. In the meantime, recognize that Child Protection is not going to step in unless your child is at serious risk. And your remaining sober will guard against that. Your drinking again will make that CPS visit much more likely. And maybe even inevitable.
Problem 3. Your truck is falling apart. Mine is too. Ask around to find a trustworthy auto mechanic. That make take some effort. The trustworthy ones can be hard to find. See how much money you are able to scrape together, then ask the mechanic to prioritize what work needs to be done, and pay for the work that you can afford.
IMHO your being sober and facing these problems still suggest to me a better future for you than if you were still drinking. A much better future.
Good luck with your situation. We are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Sounds like a great time to resurrect your Morning Prayer thread 
You'll figure this all out. If you work in restaurants, there is always another job. Maybe try a corporate one next time. I worked at a big chain full-service restaurant/bar for 14 years. It was a great job.
Sending prayers for serenity, clarity, and discernment.
You'll figure this all out. If you work in restaurants, there is always another job. Maybe try a corporate one next time. I worked at a big chain full-service restaurant/bar for 14 years. It was a great job.
Sending prayers for serenity, clarity, and discernment.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Hi Jennifer, I worked in bars/restaurants for years and have plenty of experiences with working for people like your FORMER boss. Good for you for quitting!!! There will be doors and windows opening for you at the right time.
I won't offer any advice but lots of positive thoughts coming your way. Echoing everyone else - dealing with all of this sober is a gazzilion times better than not sober.
You sound very strong!
I won't offer any advice but lots of positive thoughts coming your way. Echoing everyone else - dealing with all of this sober is a gazzilion times better than not sober.
You sound very strong!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
We walk through life. life does not exist at a standstill meaning you wont have to sit here staring at your scary problems for very long you will walk through them and get through them. and thankfully it doesnt exist at a standstill it would be a lot scarrier if it did.
hang in there it will work out.
hang in there it will work out.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Jennifer, everything WILL be ok. You have a worldwide network at your fingertips here, and we are all ready and willing to help. I won't tell you how to overcome these obstacles, but I'm confident you will. And it will be much less stressful doing it sober.
I have teetered on the edge of failure in everything at one point or another (marriage, finances, house, even my life), and somehow I'm still here to tell the tale. Congrats on your sobriety and leaving that boss in the dust. Time to move forward. I like your title, its about to get real. That's probably exactly what you need. Best wishes.
I have teetered on the edge of failure in everything at one point or another (marriage, finances, house, even my life), and somehow I'm still here to tell the tale. Congrats on your sobriety and leaving that boss in the dust. Time to move forward. I like your title, its about to get real. That's probably exactly what you need. Best wishes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Originally Posted by firstymer 
I am so sorry, Jennifer. That is a lot to be hit with at once. But can you imagine how much worse it would all be if YOU were the drunk one? So, let's take the problem one at a time. Problem 1. You had to quit a crappy job. It sounds like you are a server. And it sounds like you are better off not working for a thieving, violent drunk. Don't you think? Find another job. ASAP. This was a blessing in disguise. Problem 2. Your SO pee'd in your daughter's bed. Flip the mattress, be thankful that your daughter wasn't around to witness the bender, and think about whether SO should be shown the door. He doesn't sound like he is good for you. Or for your daughter. In the meantime, recognize that Child Protection is not going to step in unless your child is at serious risk. And your remaining sober will guard against that. Your drinking again will make that CPS visit much more likely. And maybe even inevitable. Problem 3. Your truck is falling apart. Mine is too. Ask around to find a trustworthy auto mechanic. That make take some effort. The trustworthy ones can be hard to find. See how much money you are able to scrape together, then ask the mechanic to prioritize what work needs to be done, and pay for the work that you can afford. IMHO your being sober and facing these problems still suggest to me a better future for you than if you were still drinking. A much better future. Good luck with your situation. We are here for you.
Jennifer
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
We're here for you Jen. You are a strong person, with a ton of will and drive. You will make a better path for yourself.
Congrats on 11 months. That's a huge accomplishment and one that is allowing you to face these obstacles head on. You can think yourself for being strong enough to make it to this point.
Lean on us.
Congrats on 11 months. That's a huge accomplishment and one that is allowing you to face these obstacles head on. You can think yourself for being strong enough to make it to this point.
Lean on us.
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