How to admit to others you're a drunk
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
This is something I have only come to realize lately.......
When there one was even one tiny cell in my body that wanted to keep the option open to drinking again someday in the future, could be 2016, could be 2046, I was highly secretive about my alcoholism. Again, one tiny cell in my body that kept even the scrap of a thought of a whisper about drinking again in the future I was terrified of them knowing. If my alcoholism was ever verbalized, I knew that I would not be able to drink again, ever. I like to think of it as slowly but surely closing the door and latching it rather than slamming it.
It took me a long time to say this, but I am never going to drink alcohol again in my lifetime. I do not want to and I am not planning on ever drinking again. Now and only now am I not scared of telling people that I don't drink anymore and never will.
That said, I am pretty reserved about it. In fact, this weekend was the first time it ever really came up in great detail and with friends and family. This was after 390 days of sobriety. (So yeah, go ahead and believe those threads about people not caring as much as you think they will about you not drinking. Believe every word).
Back to this weekend, I saw a friend I have not seen in a year and she offered me a drink, in fact, wanted to "go out for drinks." Boy, did that come out of nowhere.
This was the conversation with my friend upon arriving at her house. (She lives out of town and I traveled there).
Friend: I can't wait for you to meet Sally and Frank. We're going to meet at _________ for drinks and dinner to celebrate.
Me: That's nice but I actually quit drinking.
Friend: What?! When?
Me: Actually, a year ago
Friend: Why?
Me: Drinking was just making me feel like crap, like the fun was outweighed by the hangovers so I just don't drink at all. I'm in my 30's so I just figured, stop....whatever.
Friend: Oh, ha, you just were drinking cheap alcohol. I used to get hangovers but not I buy the expensive stuff and I don't get hangovers anymore.
Me: Oh, ha, yeah, I don't drink anymore. I drank my fair share in my 20's.
I was shaking a little because I had never actually had a conversation that in-depth and long with any of my friends about not drinking. I remember it word for word.
I have never used the word alcoholic when speaking with anyone, anywhere. I do use it here though.
When there one was even one tiny cell in my body that wanted to keep the option open to drinking again someday in the future, could be 2016, could be 2046, I was highly secretive about my alcoholism. Again, one tiny cell in my body that kept even the scrap of a thought of a whisper about drinking again in the future I was terrified of them knowing. If my alcoholism was ever verbalized, I knew that I would not be able to drink again, ever. I like to think of it as slowly but surely closing the door and latching it rather than slamming it.
It took me a long time to say this, but I am never going to drink alcohol again in my lifetime. I do not want to and I am not planning on ever drinking again. Now and only now am I not scared of telling people that I don't drink anymore and never will.
That said, I am pretty reserved about it. In fact, this weekend was the first time it ever really came up in great detail and with friends and family. This was after 390 days of sobriety. (So yeah, go ahead and believe those threads about people not caring as much as you think they will about you not drinking. Believe every word).
Back to this weekend, I saw a friend I have not seen in a year and she offered me a drink, in fact, wanted to "go out for drinks." Boy, did that come out of nowhere.
This was the conversation with my friend upon arriving at her house. (She lives out of town and I traveled there).
Friend: I can't wait for you to meet Sally and Frank. We're going to meet at _________ for drinks and dinner to celebrate.
Me: That's nice but I actually quit drinking.
Friend: What?! When?
Me: Actually, a year ago
Friend: Why?
Me: Drinking was just making me feel like crap, like the fun was outweighed by the hangovers so I just don't drink at all. I'm in my 30's so I just figured, stop....whatever.
Friend: Oh, ha, you just were drinking cheap alcohol. I used to get hangovers but not I buy the expensive stuff and I don't get hangovers anymore.
Me: Oh, ha, yeah, I don't drink anymore. I drank my fair share in my 20's.
I was shaking a little because I had never actually had a conversation that in-depth and long with any of my friends about not drinking. I remember it word for word.
I have never used the word alcoholic when speaking with anyone, anywhere. I do use it here though.
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