First post and a question
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 16
First post and a question
Hi folks. I’m a middle aged guy in the suburbs whose life is spiraling out of control. I never imagined this would happen to me and yet here I am. Things are getting progressively worse, and I’m heading in the direction of losing those things that are important to me – my health, career, family. Most importantly, I’m tormented by what I’m doing to my children. They will likely have the genetic predisposition to this disease and I’m teaching them that this is normal. It has to stop.
As I’m falling further down the rabbit hole, I seem to be falling faster and faster. I need to get out before I no longer can. I drink every night during the week and on the weekends usually start early in the afternoon. I get drunk most nights often passing out or blacking out. By outward appearances I probably seem fine but I am definitely not.
Last night I picked up a bottle of vodka on my way home from work and proceeded to get really drunk and pass out on the couch. My kids were trying to wake me up and couldn’t. My wife, in her frustration with me, dumped the bottle down the sink. What am I doing? In keeping with this theme of dumping, I had a bottle of whiskey in my desk at work (I’m embarrassed to admit). I just dumped that as well.
I can’t live my life like this any longer. I’ve been trying to moderate my drinking for a long time, and it just doesn’t work. I wish that it did because I love to drink, but it clearly does not work for me. So here I am.
My question is this: I know that nobody here can give me medical advice, but when is a taper necessary? I think I prefer to just go all in at this point, but I don’t want to risk a medical issue if a taper is safer. Again avoiding the appearance of asking for medical advice, in a theoretical where a man drinks say 10 drinks per night, would he be a good candidate for a taper or likely be fine to go cold turkey?
I’m looking forward to being a part of this community and hopefully getting my life back. It’s a little cathartic to write this post, but I have to admit that I’m scared. I don’t know if I can do this but I have to try, and I have to give it my all. If not for me, for my family.
Day 1, here I go.
As I’m falling further down the rabbit hole, I seem to be falling faster and faster. I need to get out before I no longer can. I drink every night during the week and on the weekends usually start early in the afternoon. I get drunk most nights often passing out or blacking out. By outward appearances I probably seem fine but I am definitely not.
Last night I picked up a bottle of vodka on my way home from work and proceeded to get really drunk and pass out on the couch. My kids were trying to wake me up and couldn’t. My wife, in her frustration with me, dumped the bottle down the sink. What am I doing? In keeping with this theme of dumping, I had a bottle of whiskey in my desk at work (I’m embarrassed to admit). I just dumped that as well.
I can’t live my life like this any longer. I’ve been trying to moderate my drinking for a long time, and it just doesn’t work. I wish that it did because I love to drink, but it clearly does not work for me. So here I am.
My question is this: I know that nobody here can give me medical advice, but when is a taper necessary? I think I prefer to just go all in at this point, but I don’t want to risk a medical issue if a taper is safer. Again avoiding the appearance of asking for medical advice, in a theoretical where a man drinks say 10 drinks per night, would he be a good candidate for a taper or likely be fine to go cold turkey?
I’m looking forward to being a part of this community and hopefully getting my life back. It’s a little cathartic to write this post, but I have to admit that I’m scared. I don’t know if I can do this but I have to try, and I have to give it my all. If not for me, for my family.
Day 1, here I go.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. 
We can't advise you on a taper as that would be tantamount to giving medical advice, which isn't allowed. Your best bet would be seeing your doctor for help in getting safely thru withdrawal.
I wish you the best in getting sober for good.
We can't advise you on a taper as that would be tantamount to giving medical advice, which isn't allowed. Your best bet would be seeing your doctor for help in getting safely thru withdrawal.I wish you the best in getting sober for good.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,913
Welcome to SR, RunningAway. You'll find a lot of support here.
Tapering never worked for me...I had to just quit, so I went to a medical detox facility. Not everyone needs to do that, though. I would suggest that you see your doctor and tell him about your drinking habits and that you want to quit. They can usually give you something to help you if you start to feel too bad. Alcohol detox is very dangerous, so a visit to your doctor is in order.
Congratulations on making the decision to improve (possibly save) your life!
Tapering never worked for me...I had to just quit, so I went to a medical detox facility. Not everyone needs to do that, though. I would suggest that you see your doctor and tell him about your drinking habits and that you want to quit. They can usually give you something to help you if you start to feel too bad. Alcohol detox is very dangerous, so a visit to your doctor is in order.
Congratulations on making the decision to improve (possibly save) your life!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Yeah, I would recommend a doctor as well.
Everyone's body is different, and it seems as though every detox is different. I've detoxed myself quite a few times now, and every time is different. I'm right in the middle of it now, and not very comfortable with how it's going.
Everyone's body is different, and it seems as though every detox is different. I've detoxed myself quite a few times now, and every time is different. I'm right in the middle of it now, and not very comfortable with how it's going.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR
You can. Plenty of people here to proof it can be done. But it takes a lot of commitment. And it takes change. Lots of it. And action. Dumping the booze is a great start!
Originally Posted by RunningAway 
don’t know if I can do this but I have to try, and I have to give it my all. If not for me, for my family.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
welcome aboard!!!
I can't give medical advice, but I can tell you that a 'taper' never worked for me.
I can also say that I could have written your post almost word-for-word....
And I have good news for you. For the past year and a half, I have been growing, evolving, deepening my life in so many ways. I'm happy and healthy and respected and present and loving my life.
Because I'm sober....
From where you are, to where I am, is not so far a journey.
Welcome to Day1. EMBRACE sobriety with all your heart. Support yourself with the right tools (SR, AA, a fellow in recovery who can guide and help you, exercise, spiritual support, counseling... DO IT ALL.... ).
You can be in an entirely different place far sooner than you can imagine and you will look back on this and wonder how you could have lived this way at all....
We're here to help
I can't give medical advice, but I can tell you that a 'taper' never worked for me.
I can also say that I could have written your post almost word-for-word....
And I have good news for you. For the past year and a half, I have been growing, evolving, deepening my life in so many ways. I'm happy and healthy and respected and present and loving my life.
Because I'm sober....
From where you are, to where I am, is not so far a journey.
Welcome to Day1. EMBRACE sobriety with all your heart. Support yourself with the right tools (SR, AA, a fellow in recovery who can guide and help you, exercise, spiritual support, counseling... DO IT ALL.... ).
You can be in an entirely different place far sooner than you can imagine and you will look back on this and wonder how you could have lived this way at all....
We're here to help
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR RunningAway. Thanks for sharing your story, rest assured you are not alone and know that there is a better way, and you can achieve it. I personally had a very similar story to yours and found SR to be the door to changing my life for me and my family.
I believe honesty is the cornerstone of getting sober, first and foremost with yourself. I think you have realized the issue which is a great start. Seeing your doctor and being honest about your drinking would be a good next step....both to assure a safe detox as well as a general well being check. I personally went cold turkey and ended up in the ER....nothing life threatening but panic and withdrawals were very strong in my case. Not saying that happens for everyone but better to be safe than sorry.
I believe honesty is the cornerstone of getting sober, first and foremost with yourself. I think you have realized the issue which is a great start. Seeing your doctor and being honest about your drinking would be a good next step....both to assure a safe detox as well as a general well being check. I personally went cold turkey and ended up in the ER....nothing life threatening but panic and withdrawals were very strong in my case. Not saying that happens for everyone but better to be safe than sorry.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,343
Welcome to SR! Dumping the booze is a great start. I agree though that you should consult with a doctor first and be completely honest about your drinking habits too. Tapering never worked for me (I'm an all or nothing kinda gal). Good luck on your journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 16
Thanks to all for the comments. It's comforting to confide in others who can relate and inspiring to see success stories. I made an appointment with my doctor this morning but he's on vacation for the next almost 2 weeks (must be nice!). I can't wait and will start today without a taper. Today will not be a productive work day but I'm going to work on my plan and begin to execute. I need to do this and I need to start now. Thanks for the warm welcome and vote of confidence!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Metro Atlanta, GA
Posts: 36
Welcome RunningAway!
Please be careful and go to the ER if symptoms get bad. Alcohol detox is extremely dangerous. Do your best to stay well hydrated and eat. I know it is not easy especially in the very beginning, but your body needs replenish lost nutrients. Drinking sports drinks will help replace electrolytes. Listen to your body. if you think the symptoms are becoming uncomfortable, it is wisest to go to the ER. Congrats on day one
Please be careful and go to the ER if symptoms get bad. Alcohol detox is extremely dangerous. Do your best to stay well hydrated and eat. I know it is not easy especially in the very beginning, but your body needs replenish lost nutrients. Drinking sports drinks will help replace electrolytes. Listen to your body. if you think the symptoms are becoming uncomfortable, it is wisest to go to the ER. Congrats on day one
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I don't have anything to add to what's been said. I did want to welcome you to SR.
I wanted to learn to moderate my drinking too but that never worked. Quitting was the only way for me. Congrats on dumping the junk
I wanted to learn to moderate my drinking too but that never worked. Quitting was the only way for me. Congrats on dumping the junk
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 754
"What they said!" I am not a medical expert, nor am I a success story...YET.
How old are your children? I like what you said about them possibly having a predisposition to this, and you are currently teaching them that passing out is normal. Of course, it is not. Humm, if we play your story to the end, you teach them that this is not normal. You teach them that abstinence can be normal. Well, that will be powerful!
How old are your children? I like what you said about them possibly having a predisposition to this, and you are currently teaching them that passing out is normal. Of course, it is not. Humm, if we play your story to the end, you teach them that this is not normal. You teach them that abstinence can be normal. Well, that will be powerful!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Your best bet would be seeing your doctor for help in getting safely thru withdrawal.
This is exactly what I would do, particularly with a family. That way it's not very noticeable (like medical detox) and will make you more comfortable,
This is exactly what I would do, particularly with a family. That way it's not very noticeable (like medical detox) and will make you more comfortable,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Originally Posted by thomas11
This is exactly what I would do, particularly with a family. That way it's not very noticeable (like medical detox) and will make you more comfortable,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
RunningAway, I am with FreeOwl on this one. As miserable as you may feel, this is a GOOD day. You are in exactly the right place, doing exactly the right thing at exactly the right time.
There are so many of us who were exactly where you are today. And we are living, breathing proof that it IS possible to get and stay sober, and that your life will, very soon, get much, much better than it is now.
Good luck. Please post often and let us know how you are doing.
There are so many of us who were exactly where you are today. And we are living, breathing proof that it IS possible to get and stay sober, and that your life will, very soon, get much, much better than it is now.
Good luck. Please post often and let us know how you are doing.
Hang on!
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
I'm not a doctor and this isn't medical advice. Please at least have someone around to watch you in case your WDs get medically difficult.
Taper never worked for me. I'm an alcoholic, and it only allowed my AV to stay well fed. Just as when I quit smoking, I had to make a full stop.
That said, when I was drinking a lot recently I was at 6-12 drinks a night at least 5 nights a week. Sometimes more than 12. I'm middle aged and in relatively decent shape with no chronic health issues other than alcoholism. I went cold turkey, like I had many times before, and the withdrawal symptoms were annoying but not life threatening for me. I had night sweats, pounding heartbeat, insomnia, restlessness, and some jitters for a few nights. It was worse at night, but I put this down to my body adapting to me being a chronic evening heavy drinker. I'd drink myself to sleep, and without the drink as part of my regular rhythm my body noticed it mostly at night. I tried to deal with it with sleepy time tea before bed, light exercise during the day, and eating well.
By the end of the first week most of the withdrawal symptoms were gone. Then the real work began. The mental part.
Taper never worked for me. I'm an alcoholic, and it only allowed my AV to stay well fed. Just as when I quit smoking, I had to make a full stop.
That said, when I was drinking a lot recently I was at 6-12 drinks a night at least 5 nights a week. Sometimes more than 12. I'm middle aged and in relatively decent shape with no chronic health issues other than alcoholism. I went cold turkey, like I had many times before, and the withdrawal symptoms were annoying but not life threatening for me. I had night sweats, pounding heartbeat, insomnia, restlessness, and some jitters for a few nights. It was worse at night, but I put this down to my body adapting to me being a chronic evening heavy drinker. I'd drink myself to sleep, and without the drink as part of my regular rhythm my body noticed it mostly at night. I tried to deal with it with sleepy time tea before bed, light exercise during the day, and eating well.
By the end of the first week most of the withdrawal symptoms were gone. Then the real work began. The mental part.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 16
Thank you all. I sincerely appreciate everyone's comments. Wish I wasn't starting this on a Friday, but it's time and I'm not going to make more excuses and rationalizations. I'm famous for the "starting Monday I will..." routine. I really feel pretty down about how far I've let myself slide. I'll update this with my progress. I don't want to spam the board but I think it will help me to be held accountable.
Hang on!
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
Originally Posted by RunningAway
Thank you all. I sincerely appreciate everyone's comments. Wish I wasn't starting this on a Friday, but it's time and I'm not going to make more excuses and rationalizations. I'm famous for the "starting Monday I will..." routine. I really feel pretty down about how far I've let myself slide. I'll update this with my progress. I don't want to spam the board but I think it will help me to be held accountable.
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