Running out of hope
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Memphis TN
Posts: 68
Running out of hope
So yesterday was my boyfriend and I's day 3 quitting cold turkey. .well i woke up from a nap to him shaking and sobbing asking me why a couple little pills can make all of that go away. Well instead of staying strong and helping him...i enabled him and got high also. So today is i guess day one AGAIN. im running out of energy emotionally and physically. I feel like i cannot even stand...im thinking about asking my mom if i can come stay with her for a week or so...i cant even smoke a cig around my mom so i know i wont use. .. But i also dont want her to see my sick and know ive been using again... And i know if i leave my bf for that long he will have a meltdown and probably get much worse. We are both very unstable people at the moment...but we are stable im eachother. If that makes sense...just trying to come up with a way out that i can afford that doesnt involve hurting myself. Im not sure if ive ever felt so low. I really feel as though im just not cut out for this. Oh how i wish i could go back to the days where my mom and i were inseparable and i didnt need substances...sorry for the pitiful rant guys...
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
sweetie, it can be EXTREMELY hard for addict couples to get clean together. it's hard enough to say NO for one, but almost impossible to say NO for two, especially with just a few days under your belt. this isn't YOUR FAULT, it's just how it goes with addiction.
you cannot predict how your BF MAY do with you not around. he's going to do what he's going to do either way and to be honest you BEING there isn't exactly slowing him down much.
when i finally decided i was done with crack for good, my other half wasn't really on board with that. nor could i MAKE him, all i could do is be absolutely relentless in my desire to NOT USE and to have boundaries in place so that HIS behavior wouldn't be the cause (excuse) for me to give in.
i had to be ready to cut ties if need be. i did in fact have to leave the premises on more than one occasion when he came home all drunk and high or wanting to get high. it was not a good time for us....we were NOT on the same page, and i really couldn't care that much - i knew i could maybe save me....but i also knew i did not have the strength to save him, considering the fact he wasn't ASKING to be saved.
let's say you go to your mom's for a week......THEN WHAT? in order to be truly successful at quitting and STAYING quit you have to have a plan....and you have to be willing to make HUGE changes in your life. otherwise it will all be for naught.
you cannot predict how your BF MAY do with you not around. he's going to do what he's going to do either way and to be honest you BEING there isn't exactly slowing him down much.
when i finally decided i was done with crack for good, my other half wasn't really on board with that. nor could i MAKE him, all i could do is be absolutely relentless in my desire to NOT USE and to have boundaries in place so that HIS behavior wouldn't be the cause (excuse) for me to give in.
i had to be ready to cut ties if need be. i did in fact have to leave the premises on more than one occasion when he came home all drunk and high or wanting to get high. it was not a good time for us....we were NOT on the same page, and i really couldn't care that much - i knew i could maybe save me....but i also knew i did not have the strength to save him, considering the fact he wasn't ASKING to be saved.
let's say you go to your mom's for a week......THEN WHAT? in order to be truly successful at quitting and STAYING quit you have to have a plan....and you have to be willing to make HUGE changes in your life. otherwise it will all be for naught.
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