GoodyTwoShoes

Thanks for the greetings and warm welcomes. I went to the rehab facility yesterday and did a two and a half hour meeting with a therapist.

She qualified me for Intensive Outpatient Therapy, and I start tonight. It's three hours an evening M-W-F, plus another three hours of one-on-one with a counselor per week. That allows me to continue to work, parent, work on my marriage, move by August 1, etc.

At the assessment, I had to call my ADHD doctor and tell him I need to switch to a medicine that's not a narcotic, and I also had to ask him for a letter authorizing me to continue to take Xanax as needed. I had to make those calls on speaker phone and the therapist dialed. When I hung up, she said "thank you for being so cooperative about that."

I don't really care WHAT ADHD medicine I take as long as it works, and I know my doctor will write the letter for the Xanax, because i don't actually take it more than 2-3 times a year, but I have to have it with me at all times. I have seen two of my children come as close to death as possible without losing them, so I panic any time one of them has to go to the ER (seizures for one, deadly food allergy for another) so they will let me keep the Xanax in my purse. I told her she can count the pills if she wants to. But I cannot set foot in the Children's ER without taking one.

So tonight I have to be there by 5:45 for my first night. They're going to give me a drug test, and I'll be tested randomly through the six weeks. I drank a bottle of champagne Sunday and haven't had anything to drink since then, but I smoked pot with my brother last night, which is kind of funny because I haven't smoked pot in a few years, it's just not my thing. And I went ahead and took an Adderall today, because it's a good appetite suppressant. So my drug test will show pot and adderall, which means I'll show improvement on my second one- LOL

But none of that is really the issue. The issue is sitting in that room with people for a whole hour. The first hour is AA based, then the second and third hour are individual and small group stuff. Do I seem bitchy if I don't talk the first day? I'm big on sitting back and gauging a situation before I jump in. I like to read people and feel the mood and tone of the group. The ONLY thing I know about group therapy like that is what i've seen in movies, which is all either hilarious, confrontational or awkward. so.... I don't know what to expect.

Also, I didn't want to come right out and ask, but are they going to "give" me something to replace alcohol in my life? Are they going help me learn some new life skill or something that just makes me not care about it any more? I LOVE to drink. LOVE IT. But I can't do it anymore, I can't have ONE MORE bad consequence in my life, not a single one. So it's not an option. So i"m going to be like a fussy toddler who doesn't want to give you back your toy, and you're going to have to pry it from my hands while I whine, cry and tantrum.

I hope that's not a horrible attitude doing in. It's just the truth, and I feel like it's safer to say it here than to say it there.

biminiblue

I would say, say that at IOP tonight. It's where you honestly are, and that's important.

They've heard it all before. I'm glad you're going, and I'm glad you are here and posting. This is a safe place, and so is IOP - just remember they are on your side.

ScottFromWI

Glad you went to the appt and that things went well, you definitely have a lot going on in your message though. A couple things that stand out

1. The fact that you simply decided to smoke some pot and take an adderall just for the "heck" of it *( espeically after just finishing your evaluation ) is quite disturbing....please make sure you share that with them at IOP even if it doesn't show up on your test.

2. I think you'll be fine to take things in on the first night, but active participation in the program is going to be essential if you want it to work. They aren't going to "Give" you any magic trick or potion that will replace the substances that you abuse. They will teach you techniques that you can use to deal with life's situations, but at the end of the day it's you that has to learn to use them and implement them. And quite frankly you probably won't like some of them at first, none of us did. They go against our addictive minds so of course we don't want to comply.

Overall, just be honest and open minded. IOP is no different from any other plan/method in that it requires honesty and hard work on your part.

PurpleKnight

Great to hear the appointment went well!!

Saskia

In my IOP we were drug and alcohol tested at each visit. We found out that it takes about a month before the pot clears out.