zjw

looks like this is coming to a head quicker then i thought this other person wants me to go fire this throught the channels pronto stat.

I hope they fire me early in the day if i get fired lat ein the day i'll be pissed off *sigh* at least i'm smiling for the moment. ::sense of humor still in tact::

zjw

its also hard to focus and concentrate when your overwhelmed panicing and in tears and trembling and while each day isnt always this bad its pretty bad and i find I have to take frequent breaks all day to calm myself down.

if i worked in the office they woudl have sent me packing ions ago. this job is a blessing and a curse. without it I woulda never had been able to feed my family while i sobered up. the fact they where none the wiser was a blessing from above. I shoulda lost this job and hit a much harder bottom back then I am thankful for that.

zjw

just read this its helping me feel a hair better.

"disasters may well change us deeply, but they will pass. We must keep to our deeper convictions and remember our goals. Whether we remain ash or become the phoenix is up to us."

Nonsensical

In the event that you're unable to orchestrate your own dismissal, you might want to consider what strategery wrote.

Having managed quite a few people I can tell you there is a world of difference between someone telling me "I can't do it" and "I lack the tools/training/experience to get this done. If I am to succeed I will need __________ ."

If someone brings me a problem with a solution attached to it, then it is my problem. If they bring me a problem without a solution, it is their problem.

zjw

In this case my manager made the mistake of giving me this project to begin with as usual I have to step in and figure out how to just get things to work despite his ignorance this has gone on for years.

I do see your point. In all the years i've worked at this place I've never been in this position before I"ve always just handled things. In the last few years things have gotten difficult for me but i've been able to squeek by but this time its clobered me.

Frustrating part now while I have tis going on and i'm buried I have someone involved nagging me about other aspects of the system they'd like changed. I have quite a few projects going on in addition to this as well.

zjw

well i guess this is good. nothing has been said directly to me yet. but the main boss just tossed the project on to the other guy. I bet my slap is coming. But this is a good outcome. it sounds as if he wants this guy to /handle it/ rather then simply help me which is much better. I'd rather him just handle it even tell me exactly what to do. I'm ok being the pawn fine by me!

Anna

Stay positive, this doesn't mean they're going to fire you. It means they're correcting the mistake your boss made in giving you the project. Wait and see what happens. And, yes, above all, remain certain that things will work out as they should.

biminiblue

Well, that is good that you spoke up and things changed.

It's okay to not know how to do something. I understand the stress of trying to be all things to all people, though.

I pray all will settle down for you.

zjw

thanks for this.

I think the lesson here a hard one too for me is to know when to say uncle and that its ok to do so. I just hope it doesnt bite me but if it does it does.

another thing I read that helps
"That is why, even in the midst of an extreme situation, the wise are patient. Whether the situation is illness, calamity, or their own anger, they know that healing will follow upheaval"

zjw

wanted to thank everyone for talking me off my ledge today. things worked out for now and thats all that matters.

Wholesome

Have you tried breaking things down into small steps at a time? Rather than taking the whole of your work project and your family and your emotions and the pressure of it all, just try mindfully focusing on one thing until it's done..... not multitasking but prioritizing?

Soberintexas007

This is very true. And also why you hear about people with 5 plus years of sobriety going out. Life can be relentless.

Even though I had already completed the hours in my internship and was not really getting paid at my internship, I chose to end the internship because my drinking was really pulling me down. And I had done such a great job at that internship that I wanted to leave with dignity rather than waiting for someone to tell me I just was not "performing" anymore. And now I have left my job with dignity, and they said they would gladly give me a letter of recommendation if I needed one in the future.