tranquilseeker

Is is common for alcoholics to experience loneliness more than non-alcoholics? Is it loneliness that drove me into alcoholism? Am I lonely now in recovery because I've failed to maintain bonds with people during my alcohol abuse?

I want to reach out and make bonds with people. As strange as this seems, just 7 days after quitting drinking I already feel more comfortable in my own skin and with less social anxiety. I'm ready to start making connections with people because i now feel lonely.....but where to start...

doggonecarl

I don't know. I see it used a lot on these boards as a reason for drinking. I see loneliness more as a human condition, not a condition related to alcoholism. However, every active alcoholic I knew, at the end, was alone.

You say you are ready to make connections? Have you tried the fellowship of AA?

Soberwolf

I have always been a bit of loner anyway i dont necessarily see it as such a bad thing i have friends who always ask me to be out more the truth is i am out more i just dont always go out

Staying away in early sobriety was a good tool in my recovery and with SR i have lots of diffrent friends from lots of diffrent places

Have you tried meetings of any kind and have you thought about volenteering to meet people & connect

least

I think all kinds of feelings are unleashed when we get sober. I drank to dull my feelings, to get numb, and to feel emotions again was difficult. I felt a bit lonely as I had isolated while I was drinking, but part of getting sober was finding myself again and learning to like myself as I am and be comfortable being alone.

Volunteering in your community is a good way of helping out, and also of meeting new people. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or animal shelter. It gets you out of yourself and helps others. It's a good way to spend time.

Soberintexas007

It was loneliness that caused my relapse after having 3 years of sobriety when I was in my early 20's. I got tired of being alone and drank on a date with this guy. I remember having a fruity drink, but then the obsession set in again, and I was drinking full throttle after that. There was a really dark period after that in which I could have gotten into some trouble but didn't. Anyways, it would have been better for me to cope with my loneliness rather than drinking over it, as loneliness won't cause me to end up in an institution, jail, or death.

Venecia

Hi, Tranquilseeker,

I think there's a connection between loneliness and alcoholism. Loneliness can take many forms.

Where to start? Just be gentle with yourself. Manage your expectations of others and safeguard your sobriety. It has to come first.

Welcome to SR. This is a good place to make bonds and receive support from people who know what it's like.

FreeGSA

Hi,

Opening up to others in an online support forum eventually helped me do that better in real life. I'd spent years not letting anyone see any of my weaknesses. Eventually that meant isolating myself and being lonely. An anonymous forum is a great place to reach out and connect with others in what I was surprised to find was a very meaningful way.

Dee74

I was lonely for a long time. I worked out for me it was largely due to the fact I didn't like being alone with myself.

The more I worked on myself the more I liked who I was and the less I felt lonely....

and the more people asked me out to fun things.
It's one of those ironic paradoxes

D

IOAA2

Hi.
Alcoholics have certain traits; isolation and loneliness go hand in hand and are common.

Early on I was taught the there is a difference between being lonely and being alone. I went to many meetings and became very active as a way to stop isolating which is a huge trigger for alcoholics. Many years later I still go to 3-5 meetings a week as my tendency is to isolate.

For a lot of years my work was involved if repairing machines and traveling to new places for each repair, working alone certainly was a requirement. Today and for years, even in winter I see no other house from where I live, by choice when I was not drinking.

The last few days, with beautiful conditions around I chose to isolate, today I feel differently, maybe the ice cream I had Friday affected my chemical balance. I don’t care as long as I didn’t feel like drinking.

BE WELL

Tang

Yes. I don't know if it is purely a human condition. I work with a bunch of major extroverts who are constantly doing social things. I struggle to join clubs or groups unless I already know someone involved. I attribute that to my severe introversion. If I could change anything about me it would be to tackle my introversion.

IOAA2

Tang, today might be a good time to start afterall today is all we have. I’m a great procrastinator also.


BE WELL