EndGameNYC

I don't know what makes you think I took it personally. I didn't mean it that way.

My response was about the phenomenon of motivation for human beings on an individual level and within the context of alcoholism, rather than as the result of our biological make-up. I don't think that's off point. I think the question of what is a "lack of motivation" in human beings is also pertinent since, without exclusively interpreting behavior, there is no adequate way to explain or measure this.

I also attempted to clarify your interpretation that people had commented that all we need to do is put down the drink, and that everything else will fall into place. I think that unnecessarily misrepresents what I and others were saying about putting down the drink first, with or without motivation and, is again, within the context of the OP and the comments that followed.

Dee74

Hi Carly

I found a lot of motivation here at SR and I still do. I'm glad you joined the Class thread

I had very little internal motivation at the start. I had very little self worth.

But I knew I didn't want to die, and I knew I wanted something different for myself, my life and my future.

SR helped me stay sober, find my self esteem, and ultimately to find my purpose in life again.

Something I read here in the early days really helped (and I'm sorry I can;t remember who posted it now or the excellent way they put it)...

if you can't find the motivation to care for yourself, think of yourself as your best friend, or someone you care for...what would you do, how far would you go for them?

It's not really 'fake it til you make it' - it's just a way around the blocks that years of self loathing can leave behind

D

courage2

I love this -- but since I had no best friend & had kind of lost the concept of caring for people, I had to twist it further - **Imagine** you were someone you actually cared about -- would you want yourself to be living/dying this way?

This thread has gotten me thinking -- always a bad thing

All the motivation theories I know involve belief and goals & outcome expectations and task value. I had no belief, no goal, no sense of value, no hopes or expectations when I quit.

I wonder if the idea of motivation works differently around NOT doing. Not drinking is a non-performance, a determined inaction. For me, alcohol fit all the bills of a classic motivator. But maybe the psychology of self-denial of the motivating DOC is a different ball game -- maybe that's why the AA-ers start with giving up.

Berrybean

One thing I have learnt is that my Feelings and my Alcoholic Voice are both big fat liars. They also have louder voices than Knowledge or Reason do, so it make that initial decision difficult.

I think that motivation comes in different forms for different people - like the rest of our sobriety journeys do.

For me it was a bit like when people get angry. A couple of big things happen. Tempers up. Some little things add to it. They add a bit more. Then one teeny tiny thing more happens - maybe a shoelace broke, and BOOM, off the scale rage! The shoe lace didn't cause the rage. It was just cause the final drip of anger to make it into rage.

So for me (without going into gory and humiliating details), I had some pretty awful things happen due to alcoholic living. So I 'kinda' wanted to change - a little bit - but stopping drinking seemed a little drastic. A few more things happened. Whoa - feeling pretty out of control now. Would be nice to wake up and be one of those people who doesn't drink like this. Couple more biggies. OMG - this is terrible. It's no wonder I drink when these horrible things happen to me all the time - I feel so bad about this, pass me the tissues, I've got issues, etc, etc - I'd better get another whisky to make it all better. Then one night a smaller thing happened and I just 'realised'. I don't want to live like this. I CAN'T live like this any more. I don't want to be this 'me'. I NEED to change. And I also realised that, if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

So I stopped. And it was hard. But it was worth it. (But that's a different story)

Now I go to AA and my motivation is all there in The Promises. They're slowly coming true. Already.

... We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.