Hey, I am a newbie
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Hang in there PF. You can do this. It took a long time before I realized I couldn't drink ever again. I tried moderating on the weekends, but that only led me to drink more.
Trust me, you are better off just quitting. You have the power to take your life back. Just don't drink today.
Plenty of people here will tell you..." If I can do this then anyone can". I'm one of those people.
After 21 years of heavy daily drinking I had no idea how to live a sober life, I was scared, felt alone, didn't think it was possible to be sober for any more than one day, had gained 40 extra pounds, planned my every move around drinking, and was not happy with me.
In the beginning, I woke up every day wanting to quit, thinking and believing I wouldn't drink that day. Then, each day, I made an excuse why it was ok for me to drink. I never took a day off, not for holidays, not because I was sick, not a day off for any reason. I would always convince myself why it was ok for me to drink.
The further this disease progressed, I quit waking up thinking I would quit. I just knew I would drink that day, and the drinking started earlier and earlier and then I started drinking at work.
You can take your life back Powerflower. You are stronger than any of the excuses your AV is throwing at you to have a drink today.
Just don't drink today. You can only control yourself and your actions right now. Decide to not drink and go through with it.
I promise you won't regret this decision to be totally sober. It does take a ton of work and willpower, but you are strong enough to make it happen.
Lean on us as often as you need. I found being active here is what kept me sober in the beginning and still helps me 343 days in. We are here to help each other.
You can do this!
Trust me, you are better off just quitting. You have the power to take your life back. Just don't drink today.
Plenty of people here will tell you..." If I can do this then anyone can". I'm one of those people.
After 21 years of heavy daily drinking I had no idea how to live a sober life, I was scared, felt alone, didn't think it was possible to be sober for any more than one day, had gained 40 extra pounds, planned my every move around drinking, and was not happy with me.
In the beginning, I woke up every day wanting to quit, thinking and believing I wouldn't drink that day. Then, each day, I made an excuse why it was ok for me to drink. I never took a day off, not for holidays, not because I was sick, not a day off for any reason. I would always convince myself why it was ok for me to drink.
The further this disease progressed, I quit waking up thinking I would quit. I just knew I would drink that day, and the drinking started earlier and earlier and then I started drinking at work.
You can take your life back Powerflower. You are stronger than any of the excuses your AV is throwing at you to have a drink today.
Just don't drink today. You can only control yourself and your actions right now. Decide to not drink and go through with it.
I promise you won't regret this decision to be totally sober. It does take a ton of work and willpower, but you are strong enough to make it happen.
Lean on us as often as you need. I found being active here is what kept me sober in the beginning and still helps me 343 days in. We are here to help each other.
You can do this!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Originally Posted by Powerflower 
I did good...but of course the weekend came around and I fell on my ass again. I figured that would happen. I have to say that I have cut back though. Not getting wasted. Just having a few...enough to where I feel okay and can sleep better. I know that is not really an excuse. Just trying to give myself SOME credit, as I feel bad for drinking at all.
I can't find the right time ( or excuse) to truly START the beginning of my sobriety. There's always something that will trigger. Hell, if I could just keep my drinking to weekends only, that would be a HUGE step for me. That may be a good place to start now that I'm thinking of it.
Anyone else here that didn't go cold turkey? Anyone else that started out by just drinking less and less...until you were able to quit or control yourself?
I can't find the right time ( or excuse) to truly START the beginning of my sobriety. There's always something that will trigger. Hell, if I could just keep my drinking to weekends only, that would be a HUGE step for me. That may be a good place to start now that I'm thinking of it.
Anyone else here that didn't go cold turkey? Anyone else that started out by just drinking less and less...until you were able to quit or control yourself?
If you're worried about withdrawal see a Dr.
I think you need a plan PF - there are some great ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 43
I am once again amazed at the responses I have had here with everyone. I really feel this is the place for me to be during this process. I have noticed that if I go without any drinks, I sweat like crazy during the night, and am very dehydrated the next day. Isn't that weird? I don't drink alcohol, but feel dehydrated. I guess it's because my body is used to consuming all of that liquid...and then I take it away. Part of the process I'm sure.
What's bad about my addiction is that I don't need to go out or hang with friends. I just sit at home. I honestly feel I need a night hobby. At night is when I drink...so I need something else to fill my time. Something that will be meaningful and also distracting. I have a lot of animals...so I started there. Once the evening hits...I will feed, water, play with, clean, etc....but never fails...I can't find THAT much to do with my animals that keeps me occupied the whole night. I mean, animals have to go to bed too, right? LOL! And then I resort to drinking again. I have a husband and children...but they also go to bed way before I do. So once everything is done, and everyone is in the bed...I drink.
It has affected my work before in the past. But it doesn't any longer. Well, I say that...but honestly sometimes I feel like **** at work. And where as if I wasn't feeling like ****, I could probably get a lot more done that needs to be done. Some days, I am at work on time, do what I need to do...but I don't go that extra mile because I feel like crap. And I know if I didn't have this problem...hell, I probably would have already had some raises to my paycheck. I know I am a damn good worker. And I really feel my boss and my manager love me. It's just that sometimes I don't have energy for that extra push I need to get ahead of the game...if that makes sense.
I look back in time and remember the day where I was happy. I was happy without alcohol. What happened???? Even when I first started drinking...I didn't HAVE to drink. Hell, beer would sit in my fridge until it went bad. I was more into going out at that time. Now I worry and count every drink that's at my house, every day. No way to live.
Thank you to everyone here that puts up with my crap. My posts can be long and irritating to read, I am sure. So thank you to everyone that has spoken a kind word to me, I truly appreciate it as I am trying to find my own willpower to beat this addiction.
What's bad about my addiction is that I don't need to go out or hang with friends. I just sit at home. I honestly feel I need a night hobby. At night is when I drink...so I need something else to fill my time. Something that will be meaningful and also distracting. I have a lot of animals...so I started there. Once the evening hits...I will feed, water, play with, clean, etc....but never fails...I can't find THAT much to do with my animals that keeps me occupied the whole night. I mean, animals have to go to bed too, right? LOL! And then I resort to drinking again. I have a husband and children...but they also go to bed way before I do. So once everything is done, and everyone is in the bed...I drink.
It has affected my work before in the past. But it doesn't any longer. Well, I say that...but honestly sometimes I feel like **** at work. And where as if I wasn't feeling like ****, I could probably get a lot more done that needs to be done. Some days, I am at work on time, do what I need to do...but I don't go that extra mile because I feel like crap. And I know if I didn't have this problem...hell, I probably would have already had some raises to my paycheck. I know I am a damn good worker. And I really feel my boss and my manager love me. It's just that sometimes I don't have energy for that extra push I need to get ahead of the game...if that makes sense.
I look back in time and remember the day where I was happy. I was happy without alcohol. What happened???? Even when I first started drinking...I didn't HAVE to drink. Hell, beer would sit in my fridge until it went bad. I was more into going out at that time. Now I worry and count every drink that's at my house, every day. No way to live.
Thank you to everyone here that puts up with my crap. My posts can be long and irritating to read, I am sure. So thank you to everyone that has spoken a kind word to me, I truly appreciate it as I am trying to find my own willpower to beat this addiction.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi Powerflower, Thanks for posting and keeping us updated. I am really sorry you are having a hard time. I think most of us go through a rough period when we decide to start getting sober.
One thing I thought of is that it sounds like you need to find a replacement reward for the alcohol after work. A lot of people suggest fizzy water with lemon. I love that too. I have started "saving" that as my reward at the end of a long day. During the day I drink regular water or something else, but that fizzy water with lime and sprigs of mint I have to hold out and wait for the end of the day relaxation time. It is just a tiny change, but it has helped me to save something special as a treat.
To keep yourself busy in the evenings and to work on the weight you could go for a walk after work- by yourself with some music if you need to wind down or together with your child to spend time together. Then once you get back home you have your non-alcoholic reward waiting for you.
One thing I thought of is that it sounds like you need to find a replacement reward for the alcohol after work. A lot of people suggest fizzy water with lemon. I love that too. I have started "saving" that as my reward at the end of a long day. During the day I drink regular water or something else, but that fizzy water with lime and sprigs of mint I have to hold out and wait for the end of the day relaxation time. It is just a tiny change, but it has helped me to save something special as a treat.
To keep yourself busy in the evenings and to work on the weight you could go for a walk after work- by yourself with some music if you need to wind down or together with your child to spend time together. Then once you get back home you have your non-alcoholic reward waiting for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 147
Drinking at home
Hi,
I was also a home drinker. Just about every night. Some things I did to help. One, removed all alcohol from the house. This way all I had to do was not go to the liquor store. Just get home. I changed some furniture up in the living room where I drank. And I sat in a different place when I went in there. Sounds stupid, I know, but just tried to change those small habits a little. I also would leave work 10 minutes later. 10 less minutes at home where I might think about drinking. Took dog for longer walks. Again, 10 or 15 minutes less sitting at home thinking about drinking.
You can do it. Keep trying.
I was also a home drinker. Just about every night. Some things I did to help. One, removed all alcohol from the house. This way all I had to do was not go to the liquor store. Just get home. I changed some furniture up in the living room where I drank. And I sat in a different place when I went in there. Sounds stupid, I know, but just tried to change those small habits a little. I also would leave work 10 minutes later. 10 less minutes at home where I might think about drinking. Took dog for longer walks. Again, 10 or 15 minutes less sitting at home thinking about drinking.
You can do it. Keep trying.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 43
Thank everyone once again for the responses. It is amazing to me that so many people seem to actually care.
I have dug deep down and thought about my triggers. And I have found that my major trigger is talking on the phone. I have many friends and family members that want to talk to me every night. And when it hits that time...I am ready to drink. I find the conversation to be more pleasant if I am drinking.
The conclusion I have come to is that I need someone sober to talk to...someone that knows my problems and addiction. Someone I can talk to on a regular basis on the phone....and will talk to me, knowing my addiction. See, nobody knows about it. But I need to talk to someone on a regular basis that knows my addiction and can basically support me with not drinking. Sounds weird, right?
But it's not that weird. Everyone has triggers. Talking on the phone is one of mine. And if talking on the phone is a trigger, then I just need to talk to someone who knows my problems and is supportive of me quitting.
I have dug deep down and thought about my triggers. And I have found that my major trigger is talking on the phone. I have many friends and family members that want to talk to me every night. And when it hits that time...I am ready to drink. I find the conversation to be more pleasant if I am drinking.
The conclusion I have come to is that I need someone sober to talk to...someone that knows my problems and addiction. Someone I can talk to on a regular basis on the phone....and will talk to me, knowing my addiction. See, nobody knows about it. But I need to talk to someone on a regular basis that knows my addiction and can basically support me with not drinking. Sounds weird, right?
But it's not that weird. Everyone has triggers. Talking on the phone is one of mine. And if talking on the phone is a trigger, then I just need to talk to someone who knows my problems and is supportive of me quitting.
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