Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Hello
Hi All,
Just registered this minute, though I have been reading this site for a while now and could do with some of the good support you offer each other, also happy to share and give some back when I can.
I've done 7 weeks sober and for me that's fantastic as I've been drinking daily and way too much for over 30 years, a few little attempts to stop in the past, but this my best effort and I feel most committed this time, I hope, hope, hope!
I've never lost a job through drinking, though many sick days and a warning or two. Some of my friends would be surprised I consider I have a problem, good at hiding things (maybe). I've had blackouts and a couple of fits years back.... think I've managed to pull back from that level of drinking since having my daughter, but could never control my drinking really, always had to have more and more like a compulsion.
The lovely glow of being sober is now receding and I feel really emotional, very lonely, in fact I think that deep lonely feeling is what my drinking has always been about..... ah well a drink won't help anything, that's for sure.........
Just registered this minute, though I have been reading this site for a while now and could do with some of the good support you offer each other, also happy to share and give some back when I can.
I've done 7 weeks sober and for me that's fantastic as I've been drinking daily and way too much for over 30 years, a few little attempts to stop in the past, but this my best effort and I feel most committed this time, I hope, hope, hope!
I've never lost a job through drinking, though many sick days and a warning or two. Some of my friends would be surprised I consider I have a problem, good at hiding things (maybe). I've had blackouts and a couple of fits years back.... think I've managed to pull back from that level of drinking since having my daughter, but could never control my drinking really, always had to have more and more like a compulsion.
The lovely glow of being sober is now receding and I feel really emotional, very lonely, in fact I think that deep lonely feeling is what my drinking has always been about..... ah well a drink won't help anything, that's for sure.........
You've come to a great place for support in getting sober for good. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Thank you for all replies and acknowledging my arrival, feels nice to be included already. Trying to book a holiday at the moment and can't imagine a break away without drinking being a big big part of it. But I will have to.... any advice on this one?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
FTG,
welcome.
as far as holiday and "can't imagine a break away without drinking being a big big part of it.", sure, here are some suggestions:
imagine it!
imagine it with all your mind, heart and soul.
come up with all scenarios.
the evenings.
the get-togethers. the...whatevers. fill you imaginings with positive stuff you like. maybe teas. new juices. new activities. different people and places.
imagine it, so that you can make it happen.
entirely doable.
make concrete plans and follow through.
if that all seems too hard, postpone the holiday.
you repeated 'hope' three times. hope doesn't go far without plan and action.
7 weeks is great; keep going.
welcome.
as far as holiday and "can't imagine a break away without drinking being a big big part of it.", sure, here are some suggestions:
imagine it!
imagine it with all your mind, heart and soul.
come up with all scenarios.
the evenings.
the get-togethers. the...whatevers. fill you imaginings with positive stuff you like. maybe teas. new juices. new activities. different people and places.
imagine it, so that you can make it happen.
entirely doable.
make concrete plans and follow through.
if that all seems too hard, postpone the holiday.
you repeated 'hope' three times. hope doesn't go far without plan and action.
7 weeks is great; keep going.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome, whatsimportant.
yes, it usually gets better with time.
it gets different for sure.
some things can be tougher or life can seem tougher without the default we're used to, but the overall trend is, for most of us, upwards.
yes, it usually gets better with time.
it gets different for sure.
some things can be tougher or life can seem tougher without the default we're used to, but the overall trend is, for most of us, upwards.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Welcome fartogo!
In terms of the vacation, can you book a vacation that focuses on an activity (surfing, hiking, horse riding, etc) or a hobby/skills (cooking, making food of some sort)? I've seen some vacations where you can learn to bake bread or make cheese, which I think would be pretty cool.
In terms of the vacation, can you book a vacation that focuses on an activity (surfing, hiking, horse riding, etc) or a hobby/skills (cooking, making food of some sort)? I've seen some vacations where you can learn to bake bread or make cheese, which I think would be pretty cool.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
This is great and very supportive, I really like the positive imagining fini, and I will definitely do this. It's a while off (the hol) and is for my 50th birthday, so I really want more sober weeks and months under my belt, this will hopefully help my resolve. I so want this phase of my life to be different and better, 50 and beyond, so here's to sober and happy and healthier middle age.
Thanks for saying "Hi" Whatsimportant, good to know there are other new folk joining and this seems a good place to start to feel less lonely, do hope so (there's me with my hope again).
Have a good day all of yous! xx
Thanks for saying "Hi" Whatsimportant, good to know there are other new folk joining and this seems a good place to start to feel less lonely, do hope so (there's me with my hope again).
Have a good day all of yous! xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Just had to post again! I've spent just a little while imagining a sober holiday and it looks good........ morning swims, sight seeing without a hangover, nice evenings instead of drunken rows with my partner..... I like this vision a lot. Thank you so much xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
And thanks for the support around my managing 7 weeks, it is great and I need to hold onto that achievement.
First week was hell on earth and I don't want to face that again. Anybody want to share what their first week was like?
First week was hell on earth and I don't want to face that again. Anybody want to share what their first week was like?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
i got sober when i was 51, so yeah to sober fifties (i'll be sixty in a few weeks)
keep imagining, FTG, fill in the details. it's great you're doing it; some people just draw blanks and i think that makes it harder. when there's nothing positive coming to mind.
and i'm mindful there's a difference between imagining so i can put plans in place to make it happen vs a dream-fantasy of how perfect and wonderful it will all be.
keep imagining, FTG, fill in the details. it's great you're doing it; some people just draw blanks and i think that makes it harder. when there's nothing positive coming to mind.
and i'm mindful there's a difference between imagining so i can put plans in place to make it happen vs a dream-fantasy of how perfect and wonderful it will all be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Hi fini, thanks again. What would the plans look like? What drinks I will order with a meal, what to do if I get twitchy? That sort of thing?
One of the holiday plans is to go up mount Etna (holiday to Sicily), sort of thing you're likely to do once in your life, I'm damned if I'm having that experience impaired by a hangover or even blurred by booze.
Have you managed to stay sober since 51? Brilliant! Respect!
One of the holiday plans is to go up mount Etna (holiday to Sicily), sort of thing you're likely to do once in your life, I'm damned if I'm having that experience impaired by a hangover or even blurred by booze.
Have you managed to stay sober since 51? Brilliant! Respect!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by FarToGo 
One of the holiday plans is to go up mount Etna (holiday to Sicily), sort of thing you're likely to do once in your life, I'm damned if I'm having that experience impaired by a hangover or even blurred by booze.
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