TheCrimsonKing

So after the weekend before last I thought that would be it....

Then this weekend. Another bender. ...the first drink and surprise surprise...the same result...shock horror...I put myself in harms way. I'm trying to find a balance with building a social life and not isolating myself while remaining teetotal. During the week it's going great...I have activities that don't involve alcohol and are very social......my days are planned....

The weekends I don't exactly have a plan. I accepted an invite to go to a different city with a new friend. There was a party/carnival thing in a tiny village in the middle of no-where. I was in no fit state after exercising intensively that afternoon and running around trying to get loads of things done...I hadn't eaten. I didn't want to be there and regreted not staying at home. The booze was free. My friend slept in his car thinking he'd be alright to drive the next morning. An angry mob made a play as if they wanted the King's blood as he said something to upset one of the womenfolk.....several angry white knights, all bark no bite. The King remained calm, but it was time to blow this two bit town. The emotions had already kicked in thinking of love gone wrong and love's ugly twins despair and deception.

The po-lice pulled us over and amazingly he was under the limit. I'm fuming at myself for getting in the car. But that's all I do when I drink....take calametous risks. The opposite of self care.

Right now I'm drinking carrot, celery, cucumber, apple and pineapple juice....this makes me happy. But I have that underline feeling of dread and that something is terrible wrong....this is the affect of alcohol.....shock horror...it has the same affect every time...

I'd like to put an end to these binges permanently.

I'd like to stay teetotal for good.

Day 1.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like you have pinpointed where the problem is...now you just have to do something about it, right?

You mention that you are finding activities during the week that don't involve drinking, there are plenty of them on weekends. As a matter of fact, most people don't spend the weekend getting drunk: I know, it was a big shock to me at first too. But really, the sky is the limit. Make an agenda ahead of time so you know exactly what your plans are...that really helped me in the beginning.

bigsombrero

Good for you, man. Many of us have traveled the roads, and gotten into trouble at every little turn. Being chased out of town after saying things to womenfolk....sleeping in a car all night...getting pulled over by the cops...I think it's time to let the booze go. It sounds like you've probably collected enough war stories in the past to last a couple of lifetimes. Time to do yourself a favor and start living a less complicated life. Glad to have you on board.

PS - there's a great "Stay Sober Weekenders" thread here on SR that starts up on Thursdays. Feel free to check in and join us. We talk about all the great activities we are doing in sobriety. traveling, gardening, running marathons, gym workouts, rock concerts, woodworking, fishing, and animals are just a few of the subjects that are brought up weekly. C'mon over.

Spacegoat

Yep your story reminds me of my teens plenty of weekends like that.

Only back to a domestic hellhole come monday no juice either mind.

I lived for those weekends but they take a toll. Day 1 good luck now.

Dee74

There's some great info here on plans CK.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

The main weekend rule I clung to was to choose my activities very wisely, and my companions even more wisely.

There's a million things to do on any given weekend and the majority of them need not involve alcohol
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
D

Hevyn

It never has to happen again CK. Congrats on Day 1.

TheCrimsonKing

There's two problems pinpointed:

1) No plan for the weekend.
You're right about making a plan. It's what I do during the week, plan even a bit obsessively. The weekend I'm going with the flow. But not my flow. I need to put myself in plan protection: plan siege mentality. Which brings me to my next point...

2) Letting myself get pulled into someone else's plan. I knew this at the weekend while it was happening. I was getting sucked into someone else's plan. I was a guest in their reality and I could feel the control slipping away.

I need to stay in my plan and everything needs to be in accordance with my goals.

simply put: Where am I going and who will come with me.

thomas11

I can relate TCK. I personally believe that you have to be a little bit selfish for at least a period of time when establishing a pretty large life change. I have some friends who still hit the happy hours occasionally during the week etc...and I will get texts or phone calls from them to join them. The answer is no. Always. Its been 2 years since I've changed some of my ways and I think its just starting to sink in with them. You can do it, I wish you the best.