Amajorityofone

I deleted my Facebook app this morning. The astronomical amount of narcissism on that site is simply, nauseating. As wastes of time go, you'd be better off reading a book.

soberlicious

I like FB, but I don't have anyone negative on there, just like IRL. If someone I usually like a lot starts having annoying posts, I just hide them from my feed. I also don't interact with idiots - except occasionally at work, but I'm paid to do that. I don't post often , except on my business page.

Just like anything else in life, we need not be blown about by every wind.

Cauliflower

The drama book! I have noticed lately that I have been spending less time there, and when I do log on, it's for the fun, not the drama. I don't take it seriously anymore. I am totally fine with just not interacting with all the crap and falseness of it all. The blocking and unfriending, and refriending and back and forth relationship I had with my younger sister was just too much to bare at times. Mind you, when things got bad between us, it was a nice breath of fresh air to not be her "friend". When I think about it now, it was just typical playground cruelty. My step-mother is one to only post updates with an undercurrent of hurtfulness it seems. I cannot delete her per-say, because of my dads current health condition, but I have practically deleted her in real life. I stopped "following her" and I don't comment or "like" anything she posts. It drives her nuts I think, lol, because she always calls me to ask me if I seen her recent posts or pictures. It's a strange convoluted relationship. If it's not helping you in anyway, and only upsetting you, then I would suggest to stay off for a while. Staying away from facebook in my early sobriety is really helping me get to know my real self. If anything, block your toxic SIL. You don't need that.

least

I don't 'do' facebook for just these reasons. I don't need the drama and gossip. I had an account several years ago... for one day... and deleted it. I don't miss it.

MarioBee

Did exactly the same thing

TENtx

Congrats, AF on not picking up last night. Good for you.

My favorite thing about FB is that you can control everything. What you see about others and what people see about you can all be changed immediately at your whim. Too bad real life is not like that.

I unfollow or unfriend or block whatever I don't like, and keep what I do like, and I don't really think anyone else knows or really cares.

Even if you only keep 5 friends, if it makes your life better to see what they are up to, then I suggest you consider doing that.

IfYouCanDream

Those are all excellent questions.
Thank you for that. It really made me think.

EndGameNYC

Whatever you decide to do with FB is up to you.

Your recent history suggests that you have an attraction to interpersonal family drama, which only seems to leave you angry, perhaps even enraged. (Even the title of your thread carries the suggestion of a marquee .) Walking away from this is the cutting edge for you. As long as you allow yourself to be drawn into other people's stuff, whether or not it pertains to you directly, you will continue to fight a bloody, losing battle that will only maintain and reinforce a formidable obstacle between you and lasting sobriety.

It doesn't matter that you only have a few remaining family members. Your getting involved in their insanity leaves you feeling crazy. Besides, what's truly in it for you to invite abuse from other people?

It's as though you're attempting to change their carved-in-stone perceptions, of you and of anyone and anything that diverges from what you experience, from what you believe to be true. Not gonna happen. And the accumulated toll this takes on you is poisoning your own being, and certainly cannot at all help with your feelings of self-worth.

By engaging in the interactions that you've described here for the past few days, you are doing the work of your relatives by essentially allowing yourself to be abused.

You've already been through enough with these people. How much more are you willing to sacrifice?

greens

A little space from FB never hurt anybody - but really what I wanted to say was good for you for standing up to you sister In law and standing up for your nieces self esteem! I think that's pretty awesome actually

dwtbd

I'm too much on the narcissistic and misanthropic end of the spectrum to Facebook, and I may be a little cynical too.
It's a great tool for directed communication and has great business potential . It's amusing to me to see my wife and her peers and their interactions and some of the things that come from that peer group (s) eg fundraising for causes worthy of attention , beyond that the day to day aspect is both assuming and sad( to pathetic.) heh, modern culture have to endure it, drop out or get enough likes to make a difference

ArtFriend

I respectfully disagree here. I don't have an "attraction" to this at all. My brother's phone call to me was out of the blue. My comments on FB were to defend my niece, and my SIL took it further. How is this an "attraction"?

I felt that I should defend my niece from what I perceived to be a put-down by her mother. Yes, you are right, it wasn't about me, but it really was on another level. I have felt the judgment of my brother and SIL all of my life. And I know how painful it is to be criticized and scrutinized by these folks. They started on me when they first got married in 1973 and I was 15 years old. I was criticized at the time for being a "feminist" and they thought I should be more submissive. No one is above their criticisms. It struck a nerve with me that they were doing this to their daughter still.

What's in it for me? Not much except having my say. I don't expect changes to happen. I really don't.

I understand what you are saying. The interactions of the past few days are (1) the call with my brother and (2) the FB episode. I have blocked my brother from contacting me in anyway now. No phone, IM, text, email, snail-mail (would refuse the letter). I have de-friended my SIL already. I may get off FB for awhile as suggested.
I am taking steps.

site1Q84

I still have mine, but there is one job I work and that's how we get our schedules, etc.

I only check it when I see I have something work related on there, and I got on the other day and deleted almost everyone that was on it.

I wasn't getting ANYTHING positive from it, just people whining or posting things I have no interest in.

lunar

As I've posted in the past:
Facebook? What's that?

PurpleKnight

Yeah facebook I find can lead to unnecessary stress at times!!

Kaneda8888

FWIW, I agree with the folks that say mothball FB. It isn't helping your recovery, AF. That's your (and our) number one priority !

Marcher13

Art I'd encourage you to choose positive uplifting activities and not to use precious time engaging in things that will irritate or depress you.

I know you love art, I hope you have a serious daily practice/schedule in place to do more with your art. Exercise helps me no end and reading which has been mentioned above.

If you are thinking about quitting FB then I'd suggest it's a bit like quitting alcohol: if it occurs to you that maybe it's a good idea to quit, it more than likely is.

Go well Art.

CAPTAINZING2000

I've been on here a long time. It's toned down somewhat from when I first joined.
I used to be guilty of liking drama. People have opinions . My opinion is just that, doesn't necessarily make it the facts.

I've learned I don't have to attend every fight I'm invited to.