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Imagining a drink

Old 05-04-2015, 04:06 PM
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Imagining a drink

I Think my daughter has some sort of anxiety disorder. She just had another meltdown. This always sparked me to drink to handle the stress but now I am about 4 months sober and trying to handle it. However, when she was yelling and crying and carrying on I pictured myself just closing my eyes and guzzling a beer. I wonder when that will stop.
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:10 PM
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I'm sure you're worried about your daughter so it's really upsetting when lashes out. Hopefully your mind will begin to work in finding healthier ways to deal with your daughter.
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:24 PM
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Maybe after a few melt downs without drinking you'll get used to handling it the new way

Sorry to hear about the stress!
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:26 PM
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Good for you for handling it sober. Stay sober and one day soon those thoughts will fade away.
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:26 PM
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Hang in there Robinz!!

As we deal with things without alcohol and develop new coping mechanisms the control alcohol had over us looses it's grasp!!
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:27 PM
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Maybe with a clear and sober mind you will be able to sort out a way to help her. I am sure she does not want to have anxiety, and lash out. You staying sober, and talking it out can be an example for her that their are healthy ways to deal with stress, and express her feelings without becoming overwhelmed
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:36 PM
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It has been hard staying sober but I know that it is 100% better for my daughter. I did just sit down with her at the dinner table and I tried to talk to her. I told her that I am trying to be a good mom and make changes to make me better and that she needs to also. She pounded me on the back yesterday out of anger( she is 11 and I asked her to feed the dogs) She is told not to hit but sometimes she just loses control of herself.
Anyways, I am not sur it I can stay sober forever but I just won't drink now because it always comes back to haunt me.
And it won't help my daughter.
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:37 PM
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One day at a time... heck, one minute at a time if you need to!
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:37 PM
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if helps take it a day at a time
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Old 05-04-2015, 05:07 PM
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My daughter had a meltdown last night. I ended up laying on the bathroom floor with her for a half hour then taking her for a walk. Today I made some more doc appointments for her. Stay present Robinz. Drinking spun my head around so bad I am sure last night would have ended in some sort of fight if I had been drinking.
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Old 05-04-2015, 05:43 PM
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As a daughter that had and has meltdowns still to this day, being sober is the best thing for her. (and you)
If she see's you running to alcohol everything your stressed, than she (someone already full of emotions that are hard for her to control and manage) will do the same at some point.
My own daughter is taking after me more and more. I have plans when she is a touch older to get her into therapy to help her sort out her emotions, something I wish I knew how to do myself.
Deep breaths in and out.
I've been on both sides and its not easy, being the daughter or the parent.
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Old 05-04-2015, 06:12 PM
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I'm really glad you stayed sober Robinz

D
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Old 05-05-2015, 04:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Mysusnshine1 View Post
As a daughter that had and has meltdowns still to this day, being sober is the best thing for her. (and you) If she see's you running to alcohol everything your stressed, than she (someone already full of emotions that are hard for her to control and manage) will do the same at some point. My own daughter is taking after me more and more. I have plans when she is a touch older to get her into therapy to help her sort out her emotions, something I wish I knew how to do myself. Deep breaths in and out. I've been on both sides and its not easy, being the daughter or the parent.
I know it is hard on her too.
I remember putting MY mother through this as a teen. As a child I was so quiet though. She has been a handful since birth. That's life I guess but it may be time for some professional help.
Staying sober is the LEAST I can do.
Thanks
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Old 05-05-2015, 05:15 AM
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11 yrs old is still quite young as she
inches towards her teenage yrs. With
that comes hormone changes in the
body. Maybe some sort of chemical
imbalance in the system.

We all go thru those young age changes
in life and we are all made up differently
inside us. Diet, school, peer pressures,
emotional ups and down, etc, with many
triggers to set us off.

I had 2 little ones yrs ago, a boy and a
girls, the first 7 yrs of their life I was in
my alcohol addiction, then recovery
for the remaining yrs. I was soooo glad
I had a recovery program to guide me
along the way and allow good enough
space for my kids to grow and
change normally.

Anyway, back to ur little one, maybe as
a suggestion to have a full health exam
to make sure she doesn't have a defencency
in her body. Sometimes low level of something
can throw us off balance.

Finding a good healthy solution to help
her as you you continue to remain and
learn living sober in recovery can bring
harmony between the 2 of you.

Often for myself when my little ones
were growing and changing I would
remind myself that remaining sober
was and still is extremely important
to me. If I didn't and don't have my
sobriety then I wont have anything
else.

No family, no nothing, no life cause
id be dead and gone.

Just a few thoughts running through
my mind to pass on your way.
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Old 05-05-2015, 06:32 AM
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imagining a drink...

imagining misery.
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Old 05-05-2015, 06:55 AM
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Hi Robinz, I feel for you and I'm glad you didn't drink. Drinking would only make things worse. My son is adhd and 9. My daughter is six and sometimes has screaming fits. What I have noticed is that their behavior has substantially improved since I stopped drinking and started being consistently present in their lives.

I don't know your situation but when I was drinking my focus was on drinking. All my interactions with my children were with half a mind and rushed through so that I could get to my drinking. So they acted up for attention because I wasn't giving it to them.

Hang in there. Maybe take your daughter to her pediatrician for an evaluation and possibly therapy. She's not too young to go to "the talking doctor." Actually, my niece was much the same way. She did go for therapy and she is doing great now.
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Old 05-05-2015, 12:35 PM
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Congratulations on your 4 months, Robinz.

That is really great.

It sounds like you are being a very good mother to a child who needs stability, nurturing and love.

When I think of a drink, notions of my drinking days come to mind.

They were awful, and, like Free Owl, I don't want that misery back.
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Old 05-05-2015, 02:38 PM
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Thanks so much for the advice. I think I will take her to the pediatrician first. I can see I am not alone with this problem withy daughter. I used to avoid her at times when I was drinking because I was hiding it. Sometimes she would know and she would have irrational fears that I was not her mom but another person in my body. Scary and makes me feel low to even think about it. I pray her anxiety gets better.
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