paintballguy

I developed physical wirhdrawal symptoms which made me realize the scope of my problem. Throughut the day i would go from dizzy to anxious to the shakes and a general feeling of feeling absolutely awful.

My alcohol tolerance spiked rapidly to the point where 13 ounces of hard liquor drank within an hour was merely enough, by comparison this was my total daily alcohol intake most days for around ten years.

I realized that i was going to need help, so i got myself on the wait list for detox, which i admit was a terrifying call to make. Unfortunately i was going to have to grind through two weeks of feeling like this (physical dependency came on suddenly for me).

I contacted my doctor, explained the situation and she prescribed me benzodiazapenes (sp?). These helped to avert the withdrawal but they are also addictive so i tried to use as little as possible.

I will say when i got that call that a bed was available, i could come in and be admitted at 9:15am the next morning, and that i only had 30 minutes to see if i could get my affairs in order - that i was absolutely terrified.

I was afraid that detox was not dissimilar to self admitting yourself to medium security prisonl which it was. I was allowed no visitors, my cell phone would be conficated for the duration of my stay, and i could not go outside except for guided walks. I wasnt allowed to smoke either, although they would issue me nicotene patches or gum.

Ive always been a very self directed person so the thought of giving up so much control to the facility terrified me. I was also worried, like who else would be in there. Would there be bums bouncing off the streets? Crazy people? I work for investment banking, i have a place to live, other than picking up a physical dependency i had my act together.

The first day upon arrival was terrifying. I knew nobody, i was assigned a room. I was waiting to see a doctor for admission and i was given the daily schedule . Boy did i feel alone.

But i pushed myself to try to meet some people, and realized that none of these people would judge me because we were all there for the same reasons, albeit several different substances. The staff by and large were pretty nice. I met some cool people several of whom i am now friends with, we keep tabs on eachother.

We laughed our asses off, shared complaints about the food, played cards and pool. We laughed about the ****** guided 20 minute walks because any opportunity to get out of that place for a bit was a godsend.

After 5 days, i was cleared for discharge, but offered that i could stay longer if i felt the need. Oddly enough, i didnt want to leave, because i was having so much fun. We joked that it.was like summer camp for junkies. I did end up leaving that day.

The detox nursed have a variety of medications that they can give you to help you through withdrawal, the shakes, anxiety, high blood pressure. (they monitor you hourly until the worst is over), they give you meds to help you sleep while your brain is racing as it adjusts chemically to a lack of alcohol.

The reason im writing this is because im really glad i made the choice to go. During my stay i saw many people show up referred by the hospital with ashen looks on their faces who promptly left within an hour. They were scared, but they shouldnt have been. I knew the fear they were feeling and i had contemplated walking out.

After being sober for 5 days medically supervised, it was much easier to mantain sobriety. I dont think i could have done it without the help of detox. And i had a ton of fun.

So i am writing this to the newcomers who are looking to quit. If you get physical withdrawal symptoms, dont be a hero and try to do it alone. Dont be afraid of a detox program. I had q fqntastic time and met some really cool people, it was not at all what i exoeftee

ScottFromWI

Great post, thanks for sharing paintballguy. I was one of the stubborn folks that tried to tough out detox on my own and ended up in the ER...detox would have been a much better option.

strategery

Awesome post paintballguy! I am glad you made the decision to go.

paintballguy

Thanks. I made the post because its a hard call to make. Medically supervised detox facilities have all sorts of resources you can take advantage of and the drugs they give you really smooth out the withdrawal.

Dont be afraid! I had a bunch of people tell me it would be allright and not to be so afraid, i didnt beleive them. I met some cool people some hot womenand learned i was just as much of a social joker stone cold sober as i ever was on the sauce.

Soberwolf

Thank you PBG

Dee74

Thanks for sharing that paintballguy

D

bookmaven

It sure sounds a lot better than waking up in jail with no memory of why or how or when you got there. Or so I've been told. Thank you for telling us your experience. Who knows, the next person I meet might be contemplating detox and now I know a little more than I did before.

anattaboy

Any which way we can! Congrats on saving your ass.

Ethos23

You are a better man than I, my friend. I applaud your courage. I was one of those soles that came in and lasted nary an hour. I went home and had the worst three or four days of my life. I will say that I came out of it fine, but I know how lucky I am. I had two night terrors where I fell asleep for a short time and woke up PANICKED, soaked in sweat, unable to catch my breath. My anxiety was off the charts all day for 2-3 days. My heart would beat like crazy, I knew my BP was through the roof. Im glad that I felt every second of it, because It scared me so much. I am thankful I never have to go through that again.

In hindsight, I will 100% admit that my decision was the wrong one. There is just too much that can go wrong during detox not to be supervised medically. Throughout my recovery I have learned that my fears (rational and irrational) really drove my drinking. I know that my fears were what caused me to leave detox that morning.

Ruby2

Thanks for posting that. I did hospital detox followed by inpatient treatment. It WAS scary to go. My pride of admitting I had a problem. Fear of what to expect. However, while there, I met people who were totally awesome. I laughed a LOT while in treatment (not in detox which was in a hospital but still, the staff was terrific) which was something I hadn't done in a very long time. It was freeing. It felt good. It felt like a load of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. I got to focus on me getting better by sharing it with other people who were like me. And I also didn't have to worry about withdrawal. I was never uncomfortable during the process.

So, again, thanks.