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I am very weak right now

Old 04-24-2015, 04:28 PM
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I am very weak right now

The thread about my brother has dragged up a lot of crap about my family and I am feeling the weakest I have since last year. The sadness of my family history sometimes takes me by surprise and I am left bereft. It is a legacy of sorrow and ingrained in my psyche.

Please no telling me to buck up and all that. I am just too sad. And yes, I actually did go out and get some vodka and had a drink. What a way to deal with things eh?
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:35 PM
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sorry for your pain

Hi,
I just registered and am not sure what you are going through but I want you to know that your feelings should never be invalidated. I hate when people tell me to write a gratitude list or focus on the positives. masking my anger was one of the reasons I dRanK in the first place. I hope these feelings pass but for now do whatever you need to . Yell, punch a pillow, do something physical . Whatever you need
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:41 PM
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Hey Art

Can you throw out the rest of the vodka. Its not going to help a lot and you'll regret the day after.

Sometimes it can be a luxurious feeling to soak in our misery. To be engulfed in miserable thoughts. I've done that many times before with my history. I found it to be an escape from reality. But at the end of the day all it leaves is a bitter taste.

Better to leave the misery behind Art. Focusing on positive thoughts have much results. Its harder to do but is worth it !

Stay close and do try to dump the drink !
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:42 PM
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Pour it away this is not the answer Art you know this is the truth

Art i hope you pour that poison away im certainly not going to tell you to drink it am i

Spk soon Art
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:45 PM
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Please dump the vodka AF.

It's not helping you deal with anything.

It's hard to be a fixer when you have something unfixable.

Why not help some folks out here instead?

D
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:48 PM
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SR is in your corner Art!!
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:48 PM
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You know what AF? The intensity of a sibling bond is like a rubber band stretched taut.

Please allow your SR buds be your tribe now and especially during this time when you feel weak. Let's huddle and hang on tight, huh? Dump it out. Fill a glass of water and chug that instead.

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Old 04-24-2015, 04:48 PM
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Pour it out Artfriend. You as well as the rest of us that it will only make things worse.
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:49 PM
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I know what you say is true, but on the other hand I feel compelled to drink. It's that double-mindedness or cognitive dissonance or just plain foolishness.
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:54 PM
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Considering all the destruction alcohol has caused for your family, why not toss out the rest of the vodka?
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by strategery View Post
Considering all the destruction alcohol has caused for your family, why not toss out the rest of the vodka?
That would be too logical Strategery.
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Old 04-24-2015, 04:59 PM
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Sorry I don't mean to be flippant. More drinks and tornadoes! Fun.

For those who have never encountered tornadoes... they are scary as hell (Wizard of Oz) but exciting.
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:01 PM
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I'm sorry for your pain Art. Please pour it out. It will only make you feel worse.

Either way, we are here for you.
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:02 PM
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I won't tell you what to do .. buck up or whatever AF ..

I'll just point out Alcohol is a neurotoxin and a depressant and drinking it because we're sad is like trying to put a fire out with petrol .

It took 6 months sobriety for a dysthymia id suffered from for years to go.

I hope you get back to living a glorious sober life soon . Others issues are all very well until they start to challenge my own sobriety, i'm no use to anyone if i'm caught up in my own drinking drama .

You didn't cause the issues and probably have no claim or power over them , you don't need to make things worse though .

Take care of yourself ,

m
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:08 PM
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Cyclones are pretty scary too but I deal with them way better sober AF?

D
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:12 PM
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That is what is SO perplexing. Why, if did not cause - cannot cure - nor control, am I responding to my brother's current condition, my sister's past condition, or my family of origin's history of dysfunction? Is it because I canot deal with the pain or is it a pattern learned many years ago? No one was able to tell me HOW to deal with anything.
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Cyclones are pretty scary too but I deal with them way better sober AF?

D
Do they have tornadoes in Staylia? Or Cyclones?
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:20 PM
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I've had to deal with family 'trauma' my entire life. I don't know what to say to you to help, but a therapist I was seeing many moons ago finally got me to "ignore" it. It's hard to explain. But it is a kind of removing yourself from the reality of something that you cannot change and have no control over.
It's like having six toes. You just accept it and don't let it consume you. It may sound harsh, but that is the reality of the situation.
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:20 PM
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AF, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. The question of dealing is such a dicey one for those of us who have experienced crappy childhoods and violence. My big epiphany that helped move me towards healing was realizing that what I experienced as a child and young adult would never "go away." I was always going to be a survivor of abuse. That might seem awfully depressing. But for me, that realization was a godsend. After years of therapy I kept thinking, when will this pain, these memories go away? They don't, but they don't have to shape my life or the way I see myself. Moving beyond all that is a long process with a lot of bumps and detours and certainly one I'm still on and may always be. But I do feel I'm moving forward instead of backward, retreating in alcohol to dull the pain. I so wish that for you, too.

Please be kind and gentle to yourself, my friend. I am sending you warrior woman strength.
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:21 PM
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We've had tornadoes - mostly on the coast, but not often. I've never been in one.

Stay safe

D
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