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Going to wedding reception...

Old 04-18-2015, 09:46 AM
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Going to wedding reception...

I'm going to a cocktails and dancing wedding reception tonight. I won't know many there, and the ones I do know will be drinking. It is important to my husband that I go. Any suggested strategies? Today is day 7... I know if I can avoid having one, I'm good, but if I have just one because of peer pressure, I won't be able to stop. There is probably a really good link somewhere on strategies, I just haven't found it yet. Help?
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Old 04-18-2015, 09:53 AM
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The great thing about receptions where you don't know many is there will be no pressure when it comes to saying "I don't drink" there are no prior expectations to break down, so that should defuse that topic of conversation, and the ones that you do know, simply need a "I'm not drinking today, I'll have an orange juice".

Does your husband know of your decision to not drink? as this would be a good time to fill him in, he needs to be on your side if you are going as a couple.

Lastly an exit strategy is key, if it gets too much don't be afraid to go for some fresh air and clear your head, receptions are great if there is plenty of places to go for a walk or a wander for just that!!

Remember alcohol is not the centre of the social universe, we only think that it is, there will be people at that reception who won't be drinking due to maybe religious reasons, they are teetotal, or they are maybe a bit older, I went to my Sister's wedding last year and no one gave grandma a hard time over not having a drink, so why should it be any different for anyone else, keep everything in perspective, it's your choice and everyone should respect that!!
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Old 04-18-2015, 10:12 AM
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Welcome RedGrelim
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Old 04-18-2015, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Redgremlin View Post
It is important to my husband that I go.
More important than your sobriety? In what way more important?

I usually tell people who are newly sober not to put themselves in situations where drinking is the primary focus, such as wedding receptions. So one strategy might be to explain how your sobriety trumps whatever reason he says is important to him. He can go alone.

Failing that, ask if you can just make an appearance, then leave before the temptation to drink becomes strong.
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:22 AM
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I hear ya. The good thing is he can get a ride home with someone else if I need to leave, or I can go back and pick him up. It starts at 9 and I usually turn into a pumpkin at ten, so I have that too. I've told him I'm not drinking any more but I've said that before...
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:38 AM
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Take the car and tell them you are driving.
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:55 AM
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Sobriety is about choices. Before I make a choice I ask myself, Is this choice moving me towards sobriety or away?

I seldom make choices that move me away from sobriety and that is a big reason I'm sober today
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Old 04-18-2015, 03:09 PM
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I agree with the others that you should make good choices for your recovery right now redgremlin

D
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Old 04-18-2015, 08:40 PM
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I went to through that 3 months ago, and asked the bar tender for a diet coke in a double old fashion glass. I squeezed a lime in it and no one asked me a thing the whole night. Everyone just assumed it was a drink. Someone did ask if I wanted a shot, I just held up my glass of diet coke (which they weren't prevy to) and said I got my drink for the night, thanks! And that was the end of the conversation.
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Old 04-18-2015, 09:00 PM
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If it is any inspiration to you, I went to a posh wedding in Palm Springs with lots of cool LA twenty- and thirty-somethings (lots of tattoos and beards) and I was very nervous. I always had a soda in my hand, poured into a glass, and I made it through. It was a mini-vacation so I was looking forward to enjoying the next day sightseeing without a hangover and I did. The bartender at the open bar did not raise an eyelash when I went back four of five times for refills.

It's funny how you can objectively observe the goings-on when you're not drinking. I was shocked at how little everyone drank. Yes, even 99% of cool LA twenty-somethings leave it at two or three beers. Even the bride stopped at one. Two or three beers was the average and boy do they spread them out! We're talking three beers in four hours. Was I watching? You bet I was! I felt like Jane Goodall studying primates. I did not see one obviously drunk person the whole evening and there were about 100 people there.

If I could tell you one thing it would be to have a soda in your hand at all times. I even toasted the numerous toasts with my glass of Coke and NOBODY ever questioned me or offered me a drink. I believe the champagne lady (with a tray full of champagne glasses) glanced at me but I just glanced away.

Have fun at the wedding! There will be lots of people there not drinking, believe it or not. If I were on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and had to give my guess? I'd say 35% of people don't drink at wedding receptions.
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Old 04-18-2015, 09:25 PM
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well, how dit go?
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Old 04-19-2015, 03:22 AM
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It actually went very well :-). I think the main thing that got me through the night was wanting to tell you guys I was successful :-)
I was offered drinks a couple of times, but was able to point to my huge glass of Perrier and say "I'm good thanks". The friends I mentioned were indeed completely toasted. But what I noticed in being sober is I really didn't enjoy them in that state and I just stayed away from them, every once in a while wondering if I repeated myself when drunk as much as they did?? Yikes.
I spent a lot of time people watching, which included five adorable children trying to catch the lights on the dance floor. I'm quite proud of myself. I can do this!!
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Old 04-19-2015, 07:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Redgremlin View Post
It actually went very well :-). But what I noticed in being sober is I really didn't enjoy them in that state and I just stayed away from them, every once in a while wondering if I repeated myself when drunk as much as they did?? Yikes.
I spent a lot of time people watching, which included five adorable children trying to catch the lights on the dance floor. I'm quite proud of myself. I can do this!!
Yikes is right. I had the same observations. Being around drunk people when you are not drinking is no fun at all. Maybe a little for the entertainment value, but overall, I'll take a pass...
Glad you done good.
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