Eliasson

So, I called one of the numbers on my list from AA. The woman who answered is meeting me at a meeting in 3 hours. I also told my husband that I am done with alcohol. It is killing me. I'm tired of making excuses for why I can't stop, so tired of living my life this way.
I am afraid that staying stopped will cause me to lose my husband and all of my friends. But not staying stopped is causing me to lose me.
So I'm going to take the necessary steps and stop giving up on myself. Years ago I stayed sober for 13 months. It was the happiest, healthiest 13 months of my life. I want that back.
Dee is going to ask me what my plan is . My plan is to hit a meeting every day whenever possible and stop saying AA isn't for me. I will also call people on my list when I'm struggling with cravings and fear. My plan is to fill all that drinking time with healthy pursuits, like exercise and good nutrition and positivity. And to stay close to the wonderful people here at SR.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like a great plan Eliasson...don't forget that someone is always here on SR too if you need some extra support.

doggonecarl

If AA is for you, don't forgo getting a sponsor and working the 12 steps.

Good luck.

Soberwolf

Good stuff Elliasson

Ruby2

Good for you! That sounds like a good, solid plan. I fill in the gaps with reading and posting on here.

I know you have fear. I did. But, you did one of the hardest things I never could swing in the beginning. You picked up a phone and called someone!! I could never do that. That is great.

Well done. Keep coming back and work that plan. We are here!

PurpleKnight

Good plan Eliasson!!

Anna

Eliasson, it sounds like you have a good plan. I like that you are planning to keep things balanced with exercise and nutrition too. I think that's so important.

pocketpanda

Good for you, Eliasson! You've got a great mindset about this that will help you be successful. Post here bunches and keep us posted!

Dee74

lol I was just gonna say congratulations - going to AA again sounds like a really good step forward

Hope it's a great meeting for you Eliasson

D

Eliasson

Thank you everyone for your encouraging words. Despite anxiety going in I made it through the meeting and actually felt some relief when I left (imagine that). I made arrangements to call the woman who met me there tonight, and I plan on going to another meeting tomorrow. Until then I will not pick up a drink.
It occurred to me after reading a lot of posts here that I have spent lots of time with negative self talk, focusing on the fear of living a sober life and all that it entails. I'm going to work really hard on turning my thinking around with positive self talk. I'm going to choose instead to feel excited about the possibilities of living sober, never having to feel the hopelessness, the hangovers, the extreme shame and self hatred. What a gift a life free of that would be. I'm going to do whatever it takes to achieve that. Thank you again

sugarbear1

work those 12 steps and things will change