2change

I can relate. Alcohol is everywhere. Friends, relatives, restaurants, camping etc... I am angry that I cannot drink like others. I connot take that first drink. Drinking seems more acceptable than being sober in this society. I have been isolating to avoid these situations.

Dee74

Give it a chance 2change - it takes a little time and patient to change our lives - you'll get there

D

mystified

THIS!!!!!

Thank you Mikie9

MelindaFlowers

Yeah, most people do drink at social gatherings. I'd say over half of people. However, very few binge drink. I believe the definition of a binge is five or more at any one session. Everyone I know has one or two and is totally satisfied. They don't even think about it, really. They also leave drinks unfinished (!). What the heck?

I only binged. I didn't go crazy every time but five drinks to me was warming up to the eventual twelve. I was still on the "upswing" at five rather than bringing the night to a close.

So if I went back to drinking I wouldn't be fitting in. I'd be making the occasional scene by drinking way more than is necessary, normal, or healthy.

I still, I admit, am a little mad at the hand I was dealt. In some fantasy world I wish I was happy with one but I've experimented thousands of times with the same results: drinking more quantity (ever-increasing tolerance) and every day too.

Sounds like you were similar.

No hangovers is a huge benefit. They were getting really, really bad at the end. That makes me happy with sobriety right there.

Thomasthetank

I'm a big supporter of "one day at a time". It's just a sensible way of dealing with stuff psychologically. I'd compare it to when I would work 14 hour days. If I thought of the entire workload, I wouldn't cope. Instead I just think of what I have to do next, each individual task and I could cope with that. It's the same idea.

All I know is today I won't drink, tomorrow I will deal with tomorrow.

Pouncer

Bluhend,

I am right there with you today. It is weighing on my mind. Never? Forever?

I just decided today after my AV was having a temper tantrum about 'never, forever' that I am just going to have to take it one day at a time. It sucks, doesn't it? I am still mourning alcohol. I will trust all of the former addicts here who say:
A. Moderation is not possible for us lot.
B. The next morning after lapsing would be wracked with guilt and a hangover.
C. I will eventually stop thinking or obsessing about alcohol as long as I stay abstinent.

I also realized that I can no longer cheat or lie to myself. It doesn't matter if I don't get caught drinking; I will still know. :/

Happy Easter, Hend!

GoesWithTheFlow

I am going to sock it to you! lol nah jk. Being at 60 days, don't know what that is in weeks and I don't feel like doing the math, but we are some where similar. I was afraid of never drinking but you know what my life is way better without it. At this point I see no added benefit that alcohol can bring me. What benefit do you think it will bring to your life?

You know what makes me more afraid: Drinking again! I am really terrified of the consequences that will happen if I go to the extremes I did at my worse. It was so hard for me to get past 16 days now I am at 60. The process of quitting took two years for me because I kept trying and finally I stopped. I don't want to have to go through that process again.

Quitting was hard for me, I don't know about you, but thinking of having to quit again is too much effort. Doing a simple math problem was to much trouble for me hahaha

GoesWithTheFlow

Isolation for the first three weeks helped. Ninety percent of the most random stuff was a trigger, some exaggeration, but I just had to isolate myself from many things not just people. Keep up the good work.

Weatherman77

The thing that turned "never drinking again" into a positive for me? Never having that unquenchable thirst again. Never worrying about when I could have that next drink, never resenting family plans because it interfered with my drinking, never bolting from friends' homes early so I could get home to drink, never wondering if I messed up the calculus of drinking "just enough" and I'd get sick at work tomorrow...the list goes on.

Total abstinence is a bigger relief than trying to moderate ever was.

Buggirl

One day at a time, that's the key!

SoberLife90

Well...The thing with us alcoholics is that we are not like regular drinkers. We don't sit down and casually drink a few. We have to throw out whole life's away for that drink. Whenever I think of drinking it is for my own selfish reasons. Think of the pros and cons? I bet there aren't very many pros. You don't have to stay sober the rest of you life, it's be a wise decision if you feel like living your life though.

DrunkenDonuts

My theory is this: if everyone else is doing it and you're doing something different, then you're the cool person.

Solarion

My cat only drinks water. She seems to be okay with it.

Nonsensical

It took me a while, but one day I realized that anything that gives my AV a temper tantrum has an extraordinarily high probability of being the right thing to do.

Evolution has made us highly sensitive to losses. Losing $100 feels about twice as bad as winning $100 feels good. We can also see this sensitivity to loss in animals, who will generally fight much harder to keep a piece of meat than they will to acquire a piece of meat.

In early recovery my brain was frequently focused on what I had lost - drinking alcohol in all it's forms. I wanted to fight for my right to drink, willing to try any combination of constraints or controls I could dream up to avoid losing drinking altogether. None of them worked.

It's a fool's game, really, and misses the point. Giving up drinking has opened up my life in unimagined ways. I wouldn't dream of giving up the things that I have gained sober just so I could go back to drinking. What fool would take his winning lotto ticket back to the store to get a $1 refund just so he could stop focusing on that $1 he'd lost purchasing the ticket?

zerothehero

Nonsensical makes sense. Focusing on what is gained rather than lost by choosing not to drink... The only thing I can't do sober that I did drunk is to be drunk, but there are many things I can do sober that I couldn't do drunk. We only THINK we need alcohol to enjoy social events or concerts or... Once I got past that misdirected thinking I realized I could do all those things, have a great time, AND drive home.

Ninjaturtle

Don't believe the lie your brain is trying to tell you. It took me quite awhile to start calling out my av

FreeOwl

There is no forever.

Forever is an illusion.

Forever is only in our heads.

We can neither drink nor not drink in the future.

We can only not drink right Now.

FreeOwl

For me.... This is horrible advice.

I could do 30 days and go right back to DUIs.....

I had to stop trying to to prove to myself that I could be 'OK to have one now and again'.

It was a fool's errand that only got progressively worse.

FreeOwl

Become a connoisseur of fine waters.... There aren't enough of those and with the increase of water pollution the world will need more people who understand the finer points of the most life-giving beverage....

countrygirl2014

I will not say "never again". I won't even think about that. I only think about today. Back in September I proudly boasted "this is great! I am never drinking again!" Shortly after that post I posted a shameful confession of falling off the wagon. When I think of never, my survival instinct kicks in and I drink. I have to block that never again thought out or I'm doomed. It's just today. I'm not drinking today.

Jennifer