ArtFriend

That was my experience too Tang. Not everyone, but a few. My own mom took issue with the fact that I didn't drink. I come from a family of drinkers. I didn't drink because I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic. And when I started drinking at age 44, that is exactly what happened. Mom teased me about not drinking calling me "goody two-shoes".

Tang

Yes, my company is full of drunks and superficial sales people. Cheesy comments are the norm in my workplace.

Lance40

The idea that people look down on non-drinkers is surprising news to me. It must be a regional thing or the crowd you run with. I grew up in the southern US in a family that didn't drink for religious reasons. I have lived my adult life in western Canada where I did spend lots of time with a drinking and drugging crowd. In neither case have I ever gotten a vibe that people have a poor view of non drinkers. In my corporate life we have tee-totallers at all levels of the organization and for various reasons with some of them the most highly respected employees in our entire organization. I recently spent 3 weeks in SE Asia and was surprised to find that alcohol was virtually absent in our travels. I kept looking around for it in restaurants and don't really recall seeing much besides water, tea and fruit juices.

Tang

It could be the company/industry culture.

miamifella

Yes. I think those people are called drunks.

And they are oblivious to the contempt in which they are held by others.

strategery

One of the reasons I picked up drinking was it was socially encouraged where I was at. I remember declining an invitation to go drinking since I didn't drink. It got back to me that they thought I was snobby and uptight, which hurt my feelings. I felt a lot of regret over that since these were people I was working with. I then started drinking to show I was fun and nice. Still, it was my decision to ever start drinking. Wish I hadn't.
I don't really care what people think any more of my decision to drink since I can't do it safely.

Boleo

Even though only 10% of the population has been identified as "alcoholic", who knows how many are on the road to becoming alcoholic.

IMO early stage alcoholics will lash out at anyone or anything that stands in the way of their next drink... Including non-drinkers just acting as symbols of sobriety.

tomsteve

It must be a location thing as I have yet in my 47 years ever heard of a non drinker being viewed with disdain because they don't drink by anyone other than an alcoholic.

ReadyAtLast

I disagree. The longer I'm sober the more I realize that people who look at others with disdain because they don't drink are people who themselves have a problem. People who look at those who don't drink with suspicion have a problem. the only people I have met who find it odd I don't drink have issues.

There may be an issue with how YOU are dealing with this with other people. I am firm yet polite. I don't drink. I say no more.It's no big deal and I say no more, end of story. I'm sure if I was giving explanations, talking about my history and feeling nervous or embarrassed or ashamed then people might think I'm odd or feel sorry for me. just a thought.

blueyes618

Such a good topic. I agree with you ArtFriend, and I think I feel it even more because I am a younger alcoholic and in my social circle I am the absolute minority when it comes to drinking. I even stopped going to house parties because when I refuse an alcoholic drink I either hear, "what? No drinking?! why!?", "Is everything ok with you??", "oh you must be pregnant..." Or I get the look of pity. No one can accept the "well I just don't feel like drinking" reason. I will not sit there and confess to everyone that I am a 29 year old alcoholic and have a disease where I cannot partake in drinking socially like everyone else. Ironically enough this exact situation we are discussing happened this past week. I have been trying to hook up my single female co-worker (doesn't drink at all) with my really sweet former boss who just got out of a nasty divorce (his ex is a raging alcoholic). I figured she would be perfect for him because they are both complete health freaks, love music, and she is the exact opposite of his ex being that she doesn't drink. So when I told him about her I sent him her pic with a brief intro and he was really into her. He asked me to ask her to go out for drinks and apps, so I said it will probably be just apps, she doesn't drink at all. He then told me he had no interest if she didn't drink! This coming from the man who was married to an alcoholic for 15 years. I asked him why, and he said it's hard to 'break the ice' without a few drinks in someone. I was shocked, but I guess this is the norm nowadays.

Serenidad

Agreed.

SoberCAH

I got sober when I was 31 years old, and it was a true revelation to learn that most of the rest of the world does not commence getting drunk each time the sun goes down.

I thought that everyone who was anyone like to drink hard and get drunk a fair amount.

That was all certainly my reality, but it wasn't the rest of mankind's outlook on my favorite hobby.

If someone doesn't like the fact that I won't drink with him or her, that person needs to keep moving because we aren't on the same book and page of life.

I care less and less about what most people think of me these days, which is good because most people don't think about me anyway - they think about themselves.

It' human nature.

Good topic.

Fluffer

What CAH said. If somebody is uncomfortable with a non-drinker, that is their problem, not mine. Even when I was a boozehound I would hang out with non-drinkers with no problem. Sure, we might not have stayed out all night together, but who cares? I always respected people who could break their bad habits. The people who are troubled in the presence of non-drinkers are just showing their own neuroses or issues. Not my problem.