Oswin

Did anyone who has tried giving up before and are nowing trying again feel that once the first few weeks have gone things seem a bit easier than the last time or am I going to coming crashing down. I know everyone's different but I'm feeling really positive I can do this but also paranoid that I feel so positive..... I feel very different to last time, I think I always knew I would drink again but this time I don't want to ever.

I am even thinking ahead to my 40th in November and thinking about plans that don't involve alcohol. Which for a big birthday would have never happened. Suppose what I'm saying is I'm feeling good but don't want to become complacent.

Soberwolf

Hi Oswin i dont think youl get complacent your looking forward to november as its your 40th and you know you want to be sober

it tells in your 'voice' that this time you dont want to drink ever which is good

the easiest way of doing this is one day at a time today me you & a bunch of ppl on this planet are sober and getting sober thinking about it etc

it really is a miracle enjoy your sober day today

Mel12

Hi Oswin -

WHAT IS EASIER ABOUT TIME #2: The SR tools for recovery I remember from before so I do not have to learn them again from scratch.

WHAT IS HARDER ABOUT TIME #2: Less confidence that I can do it because of my recent failure (which I am feeling was an epic fail because I acquired a second DOC).

Mel

nymets86

Oswin, I'm feeling similar to you. I really want to stay sober this time and am on Day 15. Looking forward to some social events I have (a bachelor party and two weddings) is kind of freaking me out tho. I've done mental rehearsals in my head about how I'll say "no" at those events. I think the weddings will be a tad easier than the bachelor party (it is for my brother, and I'm the best man, so can't skip the bachelor party). I haven't told anybody but SR or my therapist that I'm not drinking and in part, I think it's because if I screw up and let my AV win, I won't feel as guilty facing friends/family. I think I really need to change that since I'm setting myself up for failure and making it easier to cave in.

My 30th is also coming up and like you, I'm planning to do something special for myself that involves being sober. Likely a trip to Europe. I do one or two big trips annually and never have issues staying sober on them since they aren't triggers for me. I'm a big nerd and there's so much sightseeing to do that I don't want to be hindered by being drunk. Wish I could keep that mindset all the time!

StellaPolaris

We have the same birthday. My 38th was spent sober, flying kites (hadn't really started drinking too much by then), 39th I was alone, drunk and at (one of many) rock bottom. My 40th last year I spent in Auschwitz, thinking it would give me some perspective. Still depressed, still got drunk daily, letting my then boyfriend sightsee Krakow while I was in the hotel bed getting even more drunk. This year I was planning on going to this big, yearly beer festival (it's tradition, and one of my favourite happenings). Guess I'll plan something else, and I'm sort of looking forward to it. Birthdays and New Years Eve are my two yearly reset buttons, when I get to start from scratch.

Oswin

I went to a family party was dreading it. But even though it was hard and my AV worked overtime. I got through it, with some good memories and the upside of it was I now know I can do it and all my close friends and family now know. I think this has helped me think I can do this.

A bachelor party sounds hard though. Can you just show your face for a bit and then go?

Notmyrealname

I think even if you're falling off the wagon here or there you're still accruing valuable experience and learning how to be sober. For many it's not a one-time, flip the switch and bam! kind of thing. I had about a year of sober on sober off time -- a month here, two months there, three weeks here -- before I managed to string together a really long stretch off the bottle.

It takes time to learn new stuff sometimes.

Dee74

I reckon anyone who worries if they're becoming complacent is in no danger of becoming complacent, Oswin

D

nymets86

Notmyrealname, thanks for that perspective. Right now, I'm obsessing a bit about my day count and am terrified of it going down to 0, but if it does happen, I think I need to just remember how much better the sober time was and don't let it turn into another year wasted drinking 2 to 3 times per week on average.

Oswin, the bachelor party is flying distance away and will last for two nights. Not possible to just pop in and leave early, unfortunately. With that said, we're planning to go golfing, fishing, to the beach, etc. All things where my brother's friends will be drinking, but much easier for me not to drink than say the bars at night. It's not for a few months, but at that time, I think I'll just let my bro know what's up and participate in all the daily activities and dinners, then just go back and relax in my hotel room. Maybe wake up and jog around the city we'll be in (I've never been, so I want to explore), while they all work off hangovers.

sugarbear1

Are you complacent now?

Try not to foresee the future, live now and practice living now.....now is where living is!