neferkamichael

Dark Asylum, you are not evil because you have such thoughts, you are not your thoughts, we are all rootin for ya.

Thatdeliveryguy

I know it feels real. I know they say bad things, don't listen to them They aren't real. They will lie and tell you horrible things, ignore them.

When the voices come I try to focus on whats real. Your husband is real, you are real. This chat room is real. If they are yelling at you or telling you bad things. Do not listen to them, listen to all the wonderful people here and your husband. They aren't real, don't listen to them I can't say that enough.

I don't know what your on but anti-psychotics take time to kick in, as do anti depressants. This will pass with time if your on medication, if it persist get to a doctor ASAP.

You're not crazy you have a medical problem is all. You are like anyone else you just need medication and support to help you. Don't ever let anyone tell you different.

Notimetoloose

It is lovely that your niece is having a baby...
Here in Australia we have a 24 hour mental health support line, for exactly that, for when meds need adjustments and other stuff. They can actually come to you.
Do you have that in Scotland?

Morning Glory

The doctors understand the OCD thoughts and voices Dark Asylum.
Everything you've posted is very common with OCD. They are just thoughts .
You are not evil and no one will think you are.

Morning Glory

Here is something I posted many years ago that might help.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/21125-post1.html

ulfr

Thank you all and thank you neferkamichael for the flowers i have a list of things i can do to stop me feeling so stressed and upset my husband says i need to try and implement them
my husband says am letting the thought and that get to me and i am
yes there is a crisis line i can tell them what going on sometime they want me to stay at the crisis house but i dont like going there id rather be with my husband and my two cats
but i can go if am really bad
i have to go to my AA meeting tonight i really need it keep thinking about drinking i also want to cut because of the bad thoughts

ulfr

Thank you for the link Morning Glory

Notimetoloose

That is great that you have support, I hope it is a good meeting for you.
Will you call the crisis line if you need to?

ulfr

called the crisis line they said i should go with my husband today
they said its good that i havent hurt myself and that the thoughts are just thoughts not action they said my ocd is making me feel like am a bad person
the voices fuel it as well

am going to have this forum on my mobile so ill be around most of the day
my mum stresses the hell out of me because she dont understand mental health problems

ulfr

my nieces are now gone ...the thoughts are getting worse and i feel like i need to drink ...my husband is keeping an eye on me got my AA meeting at 8pm
my husband said i need to focus on other things like exercise and prayer ( he isnt religious but he says am more grounded after i pray ) the exercise i can do is a cross trainer, i can also use a treadmill at the gym i have the cross trainer at home in the spare room

If i keep myself busy i will not be thinking about it so much
but i know once am in bed ill think about it more
so am unsure what to do then

serenityfreedom

Pray

Thatdeliveryguy

Dark Asylum I hope you are in a safe place right now and that you are starting to feel better. If you aren't feeling better, or things get worse you promise me that you will seek help. Emergency room or doctor asap.

You are not alone, I know how scary it is that you are hearing things and having bad thoughts. Believe me there is hope! Those thought your having are horrific I know, but don't let them take over. Stay here with us, you are safe and most definitely not a bad person in the least.

Gosh I hope you are feeling better and safe right now. Update when you can on how you feel, and don't hesitate to get help if you think you need it.... Be well!

ulfr

went to AA tried to talk made a fool of myself am never going back its not for me ...
Feel so low now called a crisis line wasnt much help


want to drink but my husband will not let me drink
my husband says my mental health is bad
want to cut but we threw all the blades out
took my normal meds plus an extra for when am in crisis
cant sleep need to put my mind somewhere else
Sorry

Thatdeliveryguy

Dark Aslyum what do you mean that you " husband says mental is bad" " want to cut but we threw all the blades out took my normal meds plus an extra for when am in crisis " I don't know what this means exactly are you ok? Please explain?

Dee74

I'm not sure what happened at AA but I'm sure it will be ok for you to go back. If not it will certainly be ok to go to another groups meeting

Are you still seeing your dr this week?

ulfr

Sorry bit confused
i meant to say my husband says my mental health is bad ...he is worried about me
sorry this dont make sense

i have extra medication that i can take as a top up to my medication for when am not so good under drs orders
my husband says that over the last few days i have been saying upsetting things like i want to kill myself etc
my husband has to lock the doors and keep me from running out the house in the middle of the night

Sorry feeling very confused

ulfr

going to try and sleep
am safe my husband is with me

saoutchik

Hi Dark Asylum,

How have you been feeling lately?

I hope you are OK