ulfr

Things arent good right now got some happy news i should be happy but am scared ill do something bad the voices tell me to do it and my OCD thoughts
my husband has tried to calm me down but i cant stop the thoughts and voices
too scared to tell anyone else like drs or my therapist just in case i get into trouble

feel like i should die i feel that bad about it
am evil for having the thoughts and voices

i want to drink ,cut and take drugs to calm myself down
my husband dont know am feeling suicidal
i want to go to an AA meeting to night but my husband says he cant take me because i have my 12 and 13 year old nieces here there needing to use the shower my husband say i will have to wait until Sunday before i get a meeting

Gilmer

I say call the doctor and therapist.

deadlydame

DarkAsylum, you shoudn't stay like this. I think Gilmer is right. Call the doctor or the therapist. they will not judge you. they are here to help you. Hang in there and Keep us informed
Best Wishes

LBrain

DA, I think you should share these thoughts with your husband.
Hang in there. Reach out to someone who is close to you now.

He can't help you if he doesn't know what's going on. And he can call the doctors for you.

Aellyce

Yes I also think you should call a professional. Are you being treated for these things? What you describe is a lot and it does not sound like something to play with; there is nothing to be scared of regarding talking to or seeing a mental health person. Or if they are not available because it's weekend, go to a hospital. If your husband can't take you, maybe and ambulance or a cab?

Nelene

Get help ASAP. Your therapist or doctor are there to help you not to bring you harm. They live by an oath of confidentially. They can help you. Don't suffer. Your husband can be your biggest advocate

ulfr

my husband knows am feeling suicidal but because we have my 12 and 13 nieces here i cant go anywhere because there too young to be left on there own
i cant go anywhere with out my husband ...because of my mental health
the girls go home tomorrow i just need to hold on til then
...what it is is that my 21 year old nieces is pregnant she is 8 weeks
My OCD thoughts make me think am going to do something bad to people its gotten so bad that i cant travel on my own just in case i do something wrong
av been like this for years i only now see a therapist( i cant call her at all because she dont work out of hours ) i am also scared of young kids am scared ill hurt them or something even though the baby is only 8 weeks pregnant and there 9 months my husband worried that ill be like this for most of the pregnancy i know its stupid but i feel like i cant get the thoughts and voices to stop even thought we have 9 months until the baby is here

Gilmer

I don't think that this is the wisest time for you to have the burden of responsibility for your nieces. Can you arrange to have their parents pick them up? You need help immediately.

PurpleKnight

At this time looking after YOU needs to be the priority, talk to your husband about the seriousness of what you're feeling, simply hanging on till tomorrow doesn't sound like a great way forward!!

SR is your corner Dark Asylum!!

saoutchik

You're not going to hurt anyone Dark

Just make sure you don't hurt yourself

Soberwolf

Were here for you Dark

ulfr

Sorry not replied until now my husband says i have to wait until tomorrow once the girl have gone i can get help its my mother that is the legal guarding of my nieces she lives 20 miles away my mother dont understand mental health she sees it as something i can choose to be like that she says it attention seeking
my mum said that about myself injuring ( she thinks av stopped )
she also thinks that i dont drink as a choice rather than an illness
there is a lot my mum either didnt see or chooses not to see

my nieces are about to go to bed ...i have to take my meds and see if that calms me down

i promise i will not hurt myself going to bed soon

serenityfreedom

A.A. Hotline?

saoutchik

Well done for hanging in there Dark

In your 1st post of this thread you said you are too scared to tell doctors or your therapist about the thoughts you are having "in case you get in trouble." I'm sure you won't get into any trouble if you tell your therapist about them - it's their job to help you and I'm sure that they want to help you.

Maybe if you told them they could help you more?

Thepatman

Leave no stone unturned and keep asking for help until you get it.
Living like this is not necessary.

Great job and holding on, have a good restful sleep ;-)

Dee74

Please do speak with your Dr DA. You won't get into trouble

D

ulfr

they will think am evil i am evil
my husband and nieces are going to my mums
my husband should only be a few hours

what kind of person am i that could harm a baby

Notimetoloose

How are you going DA?

Thatdeliveryguy

Dark Asylum, I am paranoid schizophrenic. I have been committed because of it and had to go to the hospital many times because the voices wouldn't leave me alone.

Listen to me the voices and the thoughts aren't real. They are not going to hurt you. I know its scary and a dark place. Do not listen to the voices, the voices are just thoughts. Nobody is going to hurt you, you are safe.

Please get help right away. You do not have to suffer. You need medication, you don't have to live like this. I know its hard, I didn't tell anybody for a long time about what was going onto me because I didn't trust anyone. Please be kind to yourself and if you think your going to hurt someone or yourself call for help immediately step away. Again, those voices and thoughts aren't real, you're going to ok.

ulfr

my husband says that its not real but it feels so real am on meds for my voices and OCD thoughts they have just been adjusted
my husband says av just to ignore the thoughts and voices
but it overwhelms me makes me feel like am a bad person
going to call a crisis line there going to think am mad because the babys is just developing in my nieces womb am i crazy ???