Severe depression
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Kiel WI
Posts: 221
Severe depression
I am bipolar going through a horrible bout of depression right now.I am a married guy with 3 kids.I love my family.They have been dealt a husband/dad that most people wouldn't want. I try to work hard at being a good guy.I had to stop working last year & thankfully after that I stopped drinking. We've got a home,cars the basic neccesities without a lot left over.Living in the cold Midwest makes for some boring days, I am thankful for this site & thankful to know that drinking would only make my depression get worse.Thanks Mike
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Thanks for this post, headcase. I hope that this bout of depression lifts very soon.
I am very glad that you are a part of SR.
By the way, you 'work hard at being a good guy; in my opinion, that makes you a husband and dad people would want.
I am very glad that you are a part of SR.
By the way, you 'work hard at being a good guy; in my opinion, that makes you a husband and dad people would want.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
Are you doing anything other than coming to this site to maintain your sobriety? Are you part of any kind of program?
I believe completely that if you take the alcohol away from an alcoholic, and that person doesn't get real proactive about change, you'll wind up with a severely depressed (or angry) person. It's really not as much about the drink as many seem to think it is. It's about the person who needs the drink in order to feel like a normal human being.
For me, who can also become severely depressed, I needed both the fellowship of AA, plus the 12 steps. Not to mention therapy, exercise, a change of diet, and a whole toolbox full of other things I got mostly through the experience and support of the people at AA.
I can't explain why, but even now at over 30 yrs sober, when I'm getting down on myself, life, etc. an AA meeting can help lift me out of that. Like I get a little charge of light, hope, inspiration, whatever - that reminds me that whatever I'm feeling will pass. And that I'm not alone nor as terribly unique as I like to sometimes think I am.
Heard someone say something at a meeting the other night that I'm shocked I never heard before. She said, take the alcohol away from an alcoholic, and all that's left is the "ic" (ick). I've heard the "ism" stuff before but this "ick" thing is so much more to the point for me. I was full of ick without alcohol. I needed to think differently, live differently, feel differently. Not an easy path, but not a terribly difficult one either if we're motivated and/or hurting enough. All it really takes is some honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. That and the ability to put one foot in front of the other regardless of how difficult it might seem at the moment. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm certain of it. While I'm not inside your head, I'm quite certain I've been where you are, and for extended periods of time at various points in my life. And I'm not there anymore. And pretty certain I would be, if I didn't change the person I was who needed to drink alcohol.
I believe completely that if you take the alcohol away from an alcoholic, and that person doesn't get real proactive about change, you'll wind up with a severely depressed (or angry) person. It's really not as much about the drink as many seem to think it is. It's about the person who needs the drink in order to feel like a normal human being.
For me, who can also become severely depressed, I needed both the fellowship of AA, plus the 12 steps. Not to mention therapy, exercise, a change of diet, and a whole toolbox full of other things I got mostly through the experience and support of the people at AA.
I can't explain why, but even now at over 30 yrs sober, when I'm getting down on myself, life, etc. an AA meeting can help lift me out of that. Like I get a little charge of light, hope, inspiration, whatever - that reminds me that whatever I'm feeling will pass. And that I'm not alone nor as terribly unique as I like to sometimes think I am.
Heard someone say something at a meeting the other night that I'm shocked I never heard before. She said, take the alcohol away from an alcoholic, and all that's left is the "ic" (ick). I've heard the "ism" stuff before but this "ick" thing is so much more to the point for me. I was full of ick without alcohol. I needed to think differently, live differently, feel differently. Not an easy path, but not a terribly difficult one either if we're motivated and/or hurting enough. All it really takes is some honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. That and the ability to put one foot in front of the other regardless of how difficult it might seem at the moment. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm certain of it. While I'm not inside your head, I'm quite certain I've been where you are, and for extended periods of time at various points in my life. And I'm not there anymore. And pretty certain I would be, if I didn't change the person I was who needed to drink alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Hey Mike,
Are you taking medication? Can you have them look into the medication and find a combination that suits you. Depression can be difficult, once it comes it can be absolutely crippling.
I don't think medication is the only answer though. Remember you sobered up, you chose to make and change and you executed your plan. That my friend takes courage and exemplifies who you really are! The family stayed, they saw value in you, now its your turn to show value in them and honor the gift of staying they gave you.
Life can be boring for sure, I feel that way a lot. Lately when ever I get bored, I do what I can do to do something I normally wouldn't do. This helps me with my anxiety and feelings of not making a difference too. If I normally don't cook, I cook! If I don't want to take a walk, I take a walk. I challenge my inner demons.
Try to connect to other, as you are connecting on this site. Believe me, I firmly think that if you are looking for purpose you will find purpose.
Good day to you and good luck, depression is no laughing matter, take care of yourself get the right meds, and search till you find an activity in life that adds value.
Are you taking medication? Can you have them look into the medication and find a combination that suits you. Depression can be difficult, once it comes it can be absolutely crippling.
I don't think medication is the only answer though. Remember you sobered up, you chose to make and change and you executed your plan. That my friend takes courage and exemplifies who you really are! The family stayed, they saw value in you, now its your turn to show value in them and honor the gift of staying they gave you.
Life can be boring for sure, I feel that way a lot. Lately when ever I get bored, I do what I can do to do something I normally wouldn't do. This helps me with my anxiety and feelings of not making a difference too. If I normally don't cook, I cook! If I don't want to take a walk, I take a walk. I challenge my inner demons.
Try to connect to other, as you are connecting on this site. Believe me, I firmly think that if you are looking for purpose you will find purpose.
Good day to you and good luck, depression is no laughing matter, take care of yourself get the right meds, and search till you find an activity in life that adds value.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Hey Mike,
Are you taking medication? Can you have them look into the medication and find a combination that suits you. Depression can be difficult, once it comes it can be absolutely crippling.
I don't think medication is the only answer though. Remember you sobered up, you chose to make and change and you executed your plan. That my friend takes courage and exemplifies who you really are! The family stayed, they saw value in you, now its your turn to show value in them and honor the gift of staying they gave you.
Life can be boring for sure, I feel that way a lot. Lately when ever I get bored, I do what I can do to do something I normally wouldn't do. This helps me with my anxiety and feelings of not making a difference too. If I normally don't cook, I cook! If I don't want to take a walk, I take a walk. I challenge my inner demons.
Try to connect to other, as you are connecting on this site. Believe me, I firmly think that if you are looking for purpose you will find purpose.
Good day to you and good luck, depression is no laughing matter, take care of yourself get the right meds, and search till you find an activity in life that adds value.
Are you taking medication? Can you have them look into the medication and find a combination that suits you. Depression can be difficult, once it comes it can be absolutely crippling.
I don't think medication is the only answer though. Remember you sobered up, you chose to make and change and you executed your plan. That my friend takes courage and exemplifies who you really are! The family stayed, they saw value in you, now its your turn to show value in them and honor the gift of staying they gave you.
Life can be boring for sure, I feel that way a lot. Lately when ever I get bored, I do what I can do to do something I normally wouldn't do. This helps me with my anxiety and feelings of not making a difference too. If I normally don't cook, I cook! If I don't want to take a walk, I take a walk. I challenge my inner demons.
Try to connect to other, as you are connecting on this site. Believe me, I firmly think that if you are looking for purpose you will find purpose.
Good day to you and good luck, depression is no laughing matter, take care of yourself get the right meds, and search till you find an activity in life that adds value.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Kiel WI
Posts: 221
Yes I'm on Meds,they try different ones often trying to find the best ones for me. This used to be unbearable when I drank, now at least I remain sober to deal with the depression.Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tempe Arizona
Posts: 4
I'm an imperfect young woman trying to find my place in the world. I'm a girlfriend, sister, daughter, and friend. I was loving, opinionated, caring, funny, sarcastic, snoopy, and I tried to be kind. I loved my family. I loved my girlfriend. I loved basketball. I loved watching movies. I loved kicking off my Jordan’s at the end of the day with a cold Dr.Pepper. Now I have become damaged, impatient, and weak. I love drugs. I love alcohol. I love kicking off my slippers and get high.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Mike I feel very strongly that depression is a medical condition - not a character flaw 
I bet your wife and children love you - I'm sure you're a great guy...don't let depression define you
Hope the winter is over for you soon
D
I bet your wife and children love you - I'm sure you're a great guy...don't let depression define you
Hope the winter is over for you soon
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hello Mike,
I really feel for you. I have Bipolar 2 and I've just come through the most awful 6 month episode of depression, which began just after my first year of sobriety which really surprised me. Please stay strong, stay sober, you're right, drinking will only make things worse. I do hope you may find treatments that are effective for you.
You will find SR to be amazingly supportive!
I really feel for you. I have Bipolar 2 and I've just come through the most awful 6 month episode of depression, which began just after my first year of sobriety which really surprised me. Please stay strong, stay sober, you're right, drinking will only make things worse. I do hope you may find treatments that are effective for you.
You will find SR to be amazingly supportive!
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