hello SR...it's been a while
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 438
hello SR...it's been a while
Not sure what to say or I should say anything at all. Feeling extremely lost, hopeless. I didn't know where else to turn and somehow thought of coming here. Feeling extremely sad, alone. I've not been able to stay sober and I completely hate myself. I have a meeting set up for Monday at an outpatient recovery place and I'm scared. I need to reign myself in but I keep sabotaging my own recovery. been off and on trying to get & stay sober but I just can't seem to get a handle on it. It's been years. I wonder if it's even possible. Sorry for being so depressing after not posting for so long. Just fell of the wagon and having a really hard time coming back
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 514
I've only been here 2 weeks and don't think we've met so, hello.
I hated myself the day I joined but others here made me realise I should hate the addiction but I am a person with the addiction, I am not the addiction itself. I hope that makes sense!!
Coming here many times a day has helped me greatly x
I hated myself the day I joined but others here made me realise I should hate the addiction but I am a person with the addiction, I am not the addiction itself. I hope that makes sense!!
Coming here many times a day has helped me greatly x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 19
I think the quote you have put on your message that God will meet you wherever you are is a great one. My faith as an Orthodox Christian has helped me immensely through this.
Aside from that...I also feel the only thing that keeps me going is "replacing" drinking. Sometimes it becomes such a habit in our lives that when we just stop doing it...without filling that space with anything else...it seems depressing and downright hopeless. Many of us, certainly myself, could spend hours drinking...then when you stop you have all these "empty hours." During the first few weeks of my recovery I started to think...man, what did I used to do before I drank...and that was a springboard for filling that time. Also, as I have been encouraging folks on here to do...if you happen to be a pleasure drinker...someone who drinks because your pleasure seeking drive is on overdrive (like me) then you NEED to find a suitable replacement. You NEED to do things and consume things that make you both physically and mentally feel better. Because feeling better satisfies that pleasure center in the brain. I do tea, juicing, and healthy eating. It sounds like the typical (or what I used to think) the typical weirdo health-nut stuff...but actually...it has been HUGE for me...both the rituals involved to replace the ritual of drinking...and the physical and mental "feel good" effects literally REPLACED the "feel good" of drinking. If you are one of those folks, like me, you won't probably find success until you REPLACE the drinking.
Aside from that...I also feel the only thing that keeps me going is "replacing" drinking. Sometimes it becomes such a habit in our lives that when we just stop doing it...without filling that space with anything else...it seems depressing and downright hopeless. Many of us, certainly myself, could spend hours drinking...then when you stop you have all these "empty hours." During the first few weeks of my recovery I started to think...man, what did I used to do before I drank...and that was a springboard for filling that time. Also, as I have been encouraging folks on here to do...if you happen to be a pleasure drinker...someone who drinks because your pleasure seeking drive is on overdrive (like me) then you NEED to find a suitable replacement. You NEED to do things and consume things that make you both physically and mentally feel better. Because feeling better satisfies that pleasure center in the brain. I do tea, juicing, and healthy eating. It sounds like the typical (or what I used to think) the typical weirdo health-nut stuff...but actually...it has been HUGE for me...both the rituals involved to replace the ritual of drinking...and the physical and mental "feel good" effects literally REPLACED the "feel good" of drinking. If you are one of those folks, like me, you won't probably find success until you REPLACE the drinking.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm really glad to hear from you jstar 
I think recovery is absolutely possible - but only if you commit to trying more and more things until you get the right mix of support changes and effort.
I don't know if IOP is the whole of the solution for you or not, but it can't hurt to give it a try
I think recovery is absolutely possible - but only if you commit to trying more and more things until you get the right mix of support changes and effort.
I don't know if IOP is the whole of the solution for you or not, but it can't hurt to give it a try
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Jstar
You are not alone.
I also tried to give up for years and kept relapsing and feeling hopeless and hating myself.
Eventually, after the drink had begun to wreck my health as well as everything else, I knew I had to do it, or get ill and die. As Dee said, I had to find a mixture of things which worked for me- that included posting on here, AA, prayer, new hobbies, new routines, some AVRT, and counselling. And eating lots of ice cream and watching crap TV for a while too.
You can do this, even though you think you can't.
We are addicts -it is not ourselves that we need to hate, but the addiction.
Please let us know how it goes at your meeting.
We are all here for you, jstar ((()))
You are not alone.
I also tried to give up for years and kept relapsing and feeling hopeless and hating myself.
Eventually, after the drink had begun to wreck my health as well as everything else, I knew I had to do it, or get ill and die. As Dee said, I had to find a mixture of things which worked for me- that included posting on here, AA, prayer, new hobbies, new routines, some AVRT, and counselling. And eating lots of ice cream and watching crap TV for a while too.
You can do this, even though you think you can't.
We are addicts -it is not ourselves that we need to hate, but the addiction.
Please let us know how it goes at your meeting.
We are all here for you, jstar ((()))
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