INgal

Hi, I'm sorry I'm probably in the wrong place, but my AS is not a chatroom or forum poster. I am so excited for everyone in recovery and I want him to be part of it, but short of leaving this site open on his computer is there anything else I might be able to do to guide him to this amazing place?
PS. You are all an inspiration, each and every one of you.

JadedGirl

I suppose the first question is, is he ready to stop or decided to? If so maybe you could just mention you came across this site and thought it may benefit him to talk to other people going thro the same. Even if he doesn't usually use forums he may change his mind if he has a little look around first? Xx

FeenixxRising

You won't be able to force him to use the site; the best you can do is to tell him about the site and suggest he check it out. If he does, great. If he doesn't, I wouldn't press the issue too much because doing so may dissuade him from coming to the site on his own at a later time.

Is he sober now? Or does he want to get sober? If he's still actively drinking and doesn't want to get sober, there may be more immediate measures you can take help him. SR is a great resource, but in my experience here, most of us realized we had a problem when we found SR and were actively seeking help and advice.

Della1968

You may find some help in The Friends and Family section on these forums. You can certainly post wherever but you may find some comfort and advice from others going through what you are with your son.

Hevyn

Welcome - I'm so glad you found us INgal. I agree that sharing your thoughts on our Friends & Family forum might really help. Many there are going through the same thing. Good to meet you.

360shoes

That was very kind of you to share that INgal. Thank you.

INgal

He is in an IOP program and on Antabuse. He knows it's his only option and that he's made a mess of his life. I'm sure he misses the bar scene, which is where he would binge. So, yes he's agreeable but he's not excited or proud of himself yet. I guess I should be happy for every small step. Thanks, everyone!

FeenixxRising

Then I suggest telling him about the forum and emphasizing it's full of people who are dealing the same issues as he is, that he will find understanding here and that interacting with others here should help him to not feel alone in his quest to stay sober. Whether he chooses to use this resource is something he will have to decide on his own, but a gentle nudge in this direction wouldn't hurt.

However, a shove in this direction would probably result in your son resisting simply because he is being pushed.

cheebiechi

Keep Hoping and Praying, Thats what i continue to do with my son

ubntubnt

hi INgal, I am 11 weeks sober after almost 30 years of drinking. I would be happy to talk with your son either or the public forum or if he prefers he can send me a PM. I think if he spent some time here he would quickly find many people that have been in his situation and come through it that would be willing to guide him a little. Maybe stress to him that its totally anonymous and he can take the pieces he wants and leave the rest. Its a good place to start for him to understand what is running through his mind and to start to plan out his recovery. I would not push it too hard though, just tell him the URL and say that you really think it could help him. He can read through it in his on time in his own private space.

FreeOwl

Since he's at least in the process of working at sobriety that's a good start. You mentioned he's not really a chat room / forum sort.

One thought might be to print out a newcomers story thread that you find particularly inspiring or that you see a lot of similarities to your son in (there are lots and lots here!).

You could then share that printout in a casual way.. 'Hey I ran across this interesting recovery website and thought you might like to read this....'

Just leave it at that and see what happens.

Soberwolf

Welcome nice to meet you

Nonsensical

FreeOwl's idea has some merit. Read through the stories of recovery Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information and see if you can find one that parallels your son's experience.

I didn't get excited about recovery until I stopped grieving over it like a lost loved one. Drinking started out as a deeply pleasurable pastime for me. So I kept doing it and doing it until I was addicted and it wasn't a pleasure to do anymore. I was miserable with or without it. But even then I kept trying to find a way to get back to that place where it was pleasure. The thought of giving it up forever and never ever finding that pleasurable spot again felt like a horrific loss. One I couldn't imagine relinquishing.

Once I realized and accepted that pleasurable place alcohol had once taken me was gone forever and searching for it was pure folly was I able to move on.

From what you've written it seems like your son is in that phase where he has not yet accepted that the pleasure drinking brought in the beginning is gone forever. It is a really unhappy spot to be in.

The good news is it gets better. It takes time to restore brain chemistry and then it takes more time to find pleasure in new things - but it happens.

My heart goes out to you. As horrible as my experience was I am so glad it happened to me and not one of my children. So much harder to watch someone you love struggle. Be well.

trachemys

A thought that has served me well over the years: You can't push a chain along the ground.

Lead.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!