chickippo

i met my boyfriend when i was 17 days sober. we've been together 8 months and it still amazes me that he never knew me drinking.

OP, i know EXACTLY what you mean about drinking and dating - i would have messed this up for sure!

he understands that i don't drink and he understands why. we've had a couple of bumps in the road, but i think everybody does.

i know i'm lucky. as long as i remember where i came from, it's ok.

be well, and be happy.

NoelleR

Although some AAer's say this, AA does NOT. This is another example of how simple suggestions can be bastardized and become something they were never meant to be.

The old (original?) suggestion was simply..............: "...no major changes in early sobriety/recovery..."

Somehow 'early' has become 'first year' and 'major changes' has become a plethora of things--dating; getting into or out of relationships; job changes; moving city to city or state to state or country to country;...........etc. A simple suggestion becomes almost like a bunch of rules that if one doesn't follow, up come the wagging fingers and the 'tsk, tsk, tsk.'

I always preferred how a friend of mine put it............: "...try not to make any changes major in early recovery..."

(o:
NoelleR

PaperDolls

There is no magic number. As all ready mentioned, AA does not say one year but it is common advice you'll hear in meetings. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad advice but it implies we will magically be ready then and never before. I know folks that have been sober much longer than one year and are not ready.

There's some great advice here. Take it slow and don't fool yourself you're ready when you're not. From my experience sponsoring women (and being a woman myself ). it's so common for us to need a relationship to feel whole and when we get in a relationship for the wrong reasons it's bound to go bad.


Good luck to you!

FreeOwl

I'd say if you can hold off itS probably best. The first year is filled with ups and downs and challenges and growth.

Relationships can complicate sobriety and sobriety can challenge relationships....

I was already a year into a relationship and in my case it was a supportive one. Had I not been, I can see that staying focused on me and really getting my sobriety foundation built would have been best for me. If you must date - I'd suggest keeping it very cautious and being very open about recovery.