Kath76

I'm tired of being a broken record. I tell myself that I'll quit alcohol but only ever manage to last a few days. Here I am again waking up at 4am because I'm sobering up for the day. Just like everyday I hate myself and I'm going to give up then by the afternoon I tell myself that I've earnt a drink.

I need to end this stupid cycle. I need to find freedom from alcohol. I need help.

I know I can't do it alone as I have proven so many times so I'm going to ask for help.

One second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

BelleDeMer

I wish I could be there for you ... is there anyone in your life you know could help if you opened up to them ?

waveridermke

Hey, Kath.

Whether you drink or not, we care about you. But it's pretty obvious that drinking is depriving you of a healthy life experience.

I was there a couple of weeks ago. I don't have much long-term advice, but I will say that putting down the alcohol, being involved with SR, going to local AA meetings, getting a temp. sponsor, and dealing with some gnarly cravings in the meantime has cleared my head to the point where I can see how insane of a drinker I'd become.

"Earning a drink" for me meant erasing all the progress of the day and settling back into numb complacency with being mediocre. Each day was one step forward and three steps back. I think you deserve better.

I hope this helps! Good luck in your journey. :-)

headcase1

My Dr. told me it was a life or death decision so I quit.He got through to me that my life span would be shorter if I didn't stop drinking.Now I can enjoy all the rest of my years with a clear mind.

JanieJ

Hi Kath

I hear you.

How are going to get this help ?

Is the support of SR going to be enough support- what about in your day to day life?


You can do this and we are all rootin for you ((()))

Anna

Kath, there is lots of support and wisdom here, so keep reading and posting.

You can do this!

IfYouCanDream

This is exactly what I did. Exact same actions. The improvement of my mental and physical state is amazing.

One day at a time, it does get A LOT better. Make a decision, make a plan and stick to it. Good luck.

Creekryder

Kath,
Don't hate yourself, you have an addiction and it takes strength to defeat it. Look for that strength in many directions. No recovery comes without intense work. But it is your job to want it, find it, and do whatever is necessary to attain it. Some find AA to give them strength, some use AVRT, others rely upon faith, or maybe a combination of them. I found that looking at my addiction straight in the eye, so to speak, and realizing that not one part of drinking benefited me in any way. Make a list of what drinking does to help you and another to how it hurts you. If you are completely honest with yourself and view the addiction realistically, I'm sure you will see the results show more harm than good. Remember that. Plant it firmly in your mind. Remember the times that when you drank, you made a fool out of yourself, embarrassed a loved one, wronged someone, or whatever negative event happened while under the influence. (I know you can find something...we all have). The next time the urge to drink arises, pull that image back and see it in your mind. Do you want to return to that? How about waking up with a nice hangover. Use these past events to show you the reality of the addiction. Then make the choice.
I can remember, night after night of heavy drinking and waking up like clockwork around 3 a.m. with a feeling of despair and hopelessness. I would tell myself that I had to break the cycle. Later during the day, that memory faded and the bottle once again gleamed like gold. And the drinking continued...
...until over a month ago, I looked at my situation and made a new commitment (believe me, I had done this many times in my decades of drinking.) But this time, I saw my addiction as it really is and began the process of rewiring my brain to recognizing that a life without alcohol is not only something possible, but a new consciousness just awaiting me to accept.
I have and now alcohol is not a part of me anymore. I firmly believe this, and you can have it as well. All you have to do is want it so badly, nothing will stand in your way, and BELIEVE in yourself and your goal.

All the best to you and vanquishing your addiction!!!

Dee74

Hey Kath - something as simple as posting here everyday can really help.

why not check out our Class of January support thread

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-18.html

or our 24 hour Recovery Connections thread - it's a great fun way to publicly commit to 24 hours sobriety

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-35-a-3.html

D

PurpleKnight

You can do this Kath!!

Tweak your plan, make a few changes and make it Sobriety happen!!