Ethos23

Believe me, we have all been there. Get up, dust yourself off, and try again. Try something new, push yourself out of your comfort zone and do something different. You should only be disappointed if you are complacent and quit trying to quit. If you are fighting, then you should be proud!

Anna

Viking, the best thing to do is to stop drinking now and get back to working on your recovery. Don't let this bring you down farther. You can do this.

Foolsgold186

Soberleigh I so wish I could word things how you do. Such a lovely way to put this.

Thanks.

Ruby2

You are not a disappointment. It's frightening how quickly things go back to what it was. I'm glad you are back. I hope to see you here.

VikingGF

Thank you all for your kind and honest words. I really do feel very badly, and I have some serious thinking to do about how I am handling so many things in my life right now. I had forgotten this self-loathing feeling completely, and I never want to feel it again.

There is no alcohol in my house. There will no longer be alcohol in my house. Period.

I have been so swept up with many changes in my life, I was not doing what I know I need to do stay sober, coming here, posting, reading my AVRT books, journalling, celebrating my successes and taking inventory of how much my life had improved in the past several months.

It's so shocking how fast it became utterly unimportant to me that I was killing off a huge amount of alcohol, ALONE, and while I was doing it, I felt almost gleeful. What the heck?

OH, I am beyond frustrated with myself. Off to spend some quality time with Mr. Trimpey.

Gonnachange

The important take away is that you're fully aware and are once again ready to do what you know needs to be done. And this is coming from one who went wayward a few days ago so I totally understand the frustration.

Wish you well.

strategery

VikingGF-*hugs*
While I don't have much to add that hasn't been said, the amazing thing is you're using this as a learning experience, which will make you stronger in your sobriety.
I am so glad that you are back here and posting again.

mns1

Viking don't sweat it. It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and staying sober is hard work on top of all that. You just have to slow down and find a way to balance it all out.

It's okay to be frustrated or disappointed with ourselves at times. That's what drives us to improve. But don't beat yourself up!

We all have your back you can get through this!

Dee74

I'm glad you're back with us VGF

D

Marcher13

Viking you have not lost the time you were sober and you have that sober time experience to call on. Think about what preceded drinking, what was the trigger that got you to listen to AV?

When a soldier staggers his mates pick him up and put him back on his feet, in this thread you've been lifted up to sobriety again.

HeartsAfire

You've gotten some phenomenal thoughts/advice here already. All I have to add is that I love you. And I'll never stop.

I can tell you all day long that you're amazing, you're worth it, you deserve it, etc., but you have to truly believe it yourself before this will work. You will get there - I know that with all my heart. This is a process and everyone's looks a little different. You know now something wasn't working. So get to tweaking, sister. Notice I said tweaking, not twerking.


Love to you today & always.

Mikie9

I have tried to learn and do many new things in life. Not a damn one off them went of without a hitch the first time. EVER. I am not even talking about becoming sober. I mean anything that I have ever tried to learn.

I was about to type that this is no different, but it is, to a point. Alcohol consumed so much of our time, was such a habit, was SO important to our primitive mind with the chemicals it releases when it gets what it wants...

You have not failed. You are not a failure to anyone, not even yourself. I know it felt like it this morning, but you are learning how to achieve your goal. This was a lesson, not a failure.

The only time you will fail yourself, is when you give up learning how it works for you, to stay sober. You will never fail anyone here, because we don't see bumps in the road, we see the progress, and my friend you are making progress!

Gilmer

Dearest Viking,

I totally agree with TomSteve: look at your tagline: "So you have all this patience for others but none for yourself."

You know what you have to do. You've had seven successful months. You'll soon eclipse them with your new sobriety.

Lola23

Viking - I'm glad you are back with us so quickly

Hevyn

Viking, I'm just now seeing this. I'm sorry for the pain and confusion you've felt today, but so glad you wanted to talk about what happened.

We could never be disappointed in you. Only if you stop trying for a better life. You're one of us - we've all had setbacks. I had 3 yrs. once & threw it away. You're back & that's what counts. Never give up on yourself - 'cause we're not - we believe in you.

MythOfSisyphus

It's one thing to lose a battle, just remember it's a full scale war! You can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and commit to getting it right. You can do it VikingGF!