Staying away from rollercoasters....
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Staying away from rollercoasters....
There is one aspect of my recovery that I would be interested in advice on. I am 54 days in and currently reading "Drinking - a love story" by Caroline Knapp. Its a good book and that resonates with me particularly with respect to a couple of aspects.
The author describes how she was the kind of person that things just seems to happen to during her drinking life and that she was hooked on the dram that drinking caused. Also she describes how additions very often are not limited to one. People often become addicted to other drugs or gambling or develop eating disorders in addition to drinking.
I have spent the last 10 years telling people that I have "an addictive personality", that "I am the kind of person that things happen to" and that I have two personalities "my work personality and my personal life personality" and that "I have a self destruct button". My parents tell me that I either no nothing or do something to extremes.
In my 20's I exercised to extremes. Running a half marathon was not enough for me...I would have to run 12 in 12 months and each one would have to be faster than the last. I have started and sold companies with all the pressure that brings and gambled way fortunes in my time. I have made big money three times and lost it each time (thankfully I have stayed out of debt). So my life has been a massive roller coaster.....and of course alcohol has been present all the time and getting heavier all the time. When drinking every day was a roller coaster...getting over a hangover, dealing with the fallout from the day prior, getting 10 hours work done in 3 hours, then the euphoria of getting drunk again, then finding the solutions to all the worlds problems, then passing out. Then waking up and doing it all again.
Now I find myself sober. On one side I am happy and content and I have my family and job and friends and I have no basis to complain or be bitter at all...however I am also feeling that life is just a bit dull and flat. Not boring.....but not giving me the adrenaline rush of before and I miss it, a lot.
Last night, I had a dream about reading my little boy a bedtime story and someone sneaking up on me and jabbing me in the as s with a shot of adrenaline and suddenly I was way more engaged in the story and buzzing again. Yeah, weird I know!
Has anyone experienced the same or have ideas about what to do about it? Please don't suggest staying busy and doing things like cooking or seeing a movie because being bored or not being able to fill my days is not the issue. The issue is how to get that rush of excitement back......maybe that all just drug talk and the low of quitting and I just need to keep doing what I am doing and work through it.
The author describes how she was the kind of person that things just seems to happen to during her drinking life and that she was hooked on the dram that drinking caused. Also she describes how additions very often are not limited to one. People often become addicted to other drugs or gambling or develop eating disorders in addition to drinking.
I have spent the last 10 years telling people that I have "an addictive personality", that "I am the kind of person that things happen to" and that I have two personalities "my work personality and my personal life personality" and that "I have a self destruct button". My parents tell me that I either no nothing or do something to extremes.
In my 20's I exercised to extremes. Running a half marathon was not enough for me...I would have to run 12 in 12 months and each one would have to be faster than the last. I have started and sold companies with all the pressure that brings and gambled way fortunes in my time. I have made big money three times and lost it each time (thankfully I have stayed out of debt). So my life has been a massive roller coaster.....and of course alcohol has been present all the time and getting heavier all the time. When drinking every day was a roller coaster...getting over a hangover, dealing with the fallout from the day prior, getting 10 hours work done in 3 hours, then the euphoria of getting drunk again, then finding the solutions to all the worlds problems, then passing out. Then waking up and doing it all again.
Now I find myself sober. On one side I am happy and content and I have my family and job and friends and I have no basis to complain or be bitter at all...however I am also feeling that life is just a bit dull and flat. Not boring.....but not giving me the adrenaline rush of before and I miss it, a lot.
Last night, I had a dream about reading my little boy a bedtime story and someone sneaking up on me and jabbing me in the as s with a shot of adrenaline and suddenly I was way more engaged in the story and buzzing again. Yeah, weird I know!
Has anyone experienced the same or have ideas about what to do about it? Please don't suggest staying busy and doing things like cooking or seeing a movie because being bored or not being able to fill my days is not the issue. The issue is how to get that rush of excitement back......maybe that all just drug talk and the low of quitting and I just need to keep doing what I am doing and work through it.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,636
It takes the brain a while to re-balance the chemistry, and when it does the urges will decrease. Feelings are the brains way of controlling the body.
Many recovered alcoholics will get their adrenaline other ways - exercise, professionally, etc.
Recovery has a great deal to do with learning to manage these feelings rather than the feelings owning you.
Many recovered alcoholics will get their adrenaline other ways - exercise, professionally, etc.
Recovery has a great deal to do with learning to manage these feelings rather than the feelings owning you.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
Good post ubnt, I hope you receive some feedback here that is meaningful to you.
My two cents would be that I was like this only until my mid 20's, before I experienced some real traumas in my life. I quickly learnt to embrace a quiet and predictable life as a safe option, in stark contrast to some of the chaos I had experienced. However, I actually tend to go a bit too far and began isolating.
At this moment in time, I'm very grateful to be able to set myself up for a quiet, solitary and sober evening.
My two cents would be that I was like this only until my mid 20's, before I experienced some real traumas in my life. I quickly learnt to embrace a quiet and predictable life as a safe option, in stark contrast to some of the chaos I had experienced. However, I actually tend to go a bit too far and began isolating.
At this moment in time, I'm very grateful to be able to set myself up for a quiet, solitary and sober evening.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 943
Hi Ubn I struggle with this a lot too, the extremes or finding balance. I'm an all or nothing person too and can find the middle ground pretty boring but thats just me, I'm in my forties now so have just accepted this as part of my personality. The plan is to use this for good rather than evil lol. I think some people are just way happier and feel way more natural being stimulated, busy, adrenalin up than others and that's just the way it is. I think when you are naturally like this it is way to easy to find our fix in alcohol, drug, extreme behaviour but obviously the pay back on these is devastating.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hello, Well done on 54 days Ubntubnt
read this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
but i also agree with giving it time
read this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
but i also agree with giving it time
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