Av tricking me again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: perth western australia
Posts: 397
Av tricking me again.
Last time I drank I drove my car and didn't remember and reversed into a pole (so I suspect as it's a pole dent) and ruined the back of my new and expensive BMW, my hubby knew I was in blackout when I drove drunk. Thank god the kids were not in the car and thank god I didn't hit another car or person.
Now I felt this is a wake up call to my drinking. I've been counselling, aa , and journaling etc etc to relieve the anxiety I feel to need to drink. But the AV is loud in my head. Please help I don't want to drink.
Now I felt this is a wake up call to my drinking. I've been counselling, aa , and journaling etc etc to relieve the anxiety I feel to need to drink. But the AV is loud in my head. Please help I don't want to drink.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Boston, Mass
Posts: 1,004
Your AV will tell you anything to get what it wants. Don't do it! I know it's hard, I've been there many times, myself. You can get through this. Are you HALT?
Do you have some sober days under your belt? It's not worth starting over.
Do you have some sober days under your belt? It's not worth starting over.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: perth western australia
Posts: 397
Originally Posted by SDH73 
Good. Stay here with us, savarna. Read, post. Are you familiar with "urge surfing"? Good job coming here. I always try to ride it out on SR. These cravings will pass.
Live easy but think first
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Sonoran Desert
Posts: 480
This helps me:
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Urge Surfing to beat addictions and cravings
A technique known as "urge surfing" which harnesses mindfulness can be helpful for people who are experiencing cravings. Originally developed as a tool to help people struggling to battle alcohol and drug addiction, urge surfing is now being used to help people with overeating, gambling, compulsive shopping, smoking and other compulsive urges.
The idea behind urge surfing is that cravings come in cycles, like waves. They grow in intensity, before crashing and losing their power. By delaying gratification, and taking time to identify your thoughts, feelings and physical sensations at the time, coupled with learning to sit comfortably with your urges you can learn to let them go, and not act on them.
I often find that people confuse urge surfing with simply sitting on their hands and waiting for the cravings to pass. While delaying action can help some people, urge surfing is a more proactive approach that involves listening to your mind, heart and body. For example, where do you notice the craving on a physical level? Are you feeling tension in your shoulders or a gnawing feeling in your stomach? How does your mouth feel? What thoughts are you experiencing? Notice those thoughts and observe them calmly. Keep breathing calmly and steadily and let the thoughts pass through your mind like a video or audio reel.
Instead of battling the urge (or wave) ride it out and wait for it to crash and for cravings to disappear. When you give in to the urge, and give yourself the "fix" you crave, it only increases future cravings. By learning to ride the wave and let it go, over time you will notice cravings are less frequent.
This is a technique that takes time and patience, but if you're prepared to invest the time, it can pay big dividends. The catch is that most people find that the urge to smoke, drink, eat or gamble is so strong, that they forget that this tool is available to them. One good way to get in the habit of using mindfulness to combat cravings is to practise meditation or mindfulness daily, even if only for 30 seconds.
Any time I mention meditation or mindfulness in my workshops, the majority of the students get a glazed look in their eyes, and start fidgeting and complaining that they can't sit still for that long, let alone keep their thoughts focused on candles, mantras or clearing obsessive thoughts. My solution is to start with small achievable goals.
Most practitioners recommend spending 20 minutes a day in meditation. However, for the purposes of beating cravings 30 seconds may be all you need to stop your thought process and reorient your thinking into a more healthy pursuit. Urge surfing can also be adapted to help people with panic attacks or any form of obsessive thoughts. When you have compulsions or cravings, you need a way to interrupt your thoughts before you take action. Mindfulness, or urge surfing, can achieve exactly that.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Urge Surfing to beat addictions and cravings
A technique known as "urge surfing" which harnesses mindfulness can be helpful for people who are experiencing cravings. Originally developed as a tool to help people struggling to battle alcohol and drug addiction, urge surfing is now being used to help people with overeating, gambling, compulsive shopping, smoking and other compulsive urges.
The idea behind urge surfing is that cravings come in cycles, like waves. They grow in intensity, before crashing and losing their power. By delaying gratification, and taking time to identify your thoughts, feelings and physical sensations at the time, coupled with learning to sit comfortably with your urges you can learn to let them go, and not act on them.
I often find that people confuse urge surfing with simply sitting on their hands and waiting for the cravings to pass. While delaying action can help some people, urge surfing is a more proactive approach that involves listening to your mind, heart and body. For example, where do you notice the craving on a physical level? Are you feeling tension in your shoulders or a gnawing feeling in your stomach? How does your mouth feel? What thoughts are you experiencing? Notice those thoughts and observe them calmly. Keep breathing calmly and steadily and let the thoughts pass through your mind like a video or audio reel.
Instead of battling the urge (or wave) ride it out and wait for it to crash and for cravings to disappear. When you give in to the urge, and give yourself the "fix" you crave, it only increases future cravings. By learning to ride the wave and let it go, over time you will notice cravings are less frequent.
This is a technique that takes time and patience, but if you're prepared to invest the time, it can pay big dividends. The catch is that most people find that the urge to smoke, drink, eat or gamble is so strong, that they forget that this tool is available to them. One good way to get in the habit of using mindfulness to combat cravings is to practise meditation or mindfulness daily, even if only for 30 seconds.
Any time I mention meditation or mindfulness in my workshops, the majority of the students get a glazed look in their eyes, and start fidgeting and complaining that they can't sit still for that long, let alone keep their thoughts focused on candles, mantras or clearing obsessive thoughts. My solution is to start with small achievable goals.
Most practitioners recommend spending 20 minutes a day in meditation. However, for the purposes of beating cravings 30 seconds may be all you need to stop your thought process and reorient your thinking into a more healthy pursuit. Urge surfing can also be adapted to help people with panic attacks or any form of obsessive thoughts. When you have compulsions or cravings, you need a way to interrupt your thoughts before you take action. Mindfulness, or urge surfing, can achieve exactly that.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi Savarna 
I think sometimes it just comes down to not listening to the AV no matter how loud it gets.
Have you looked at this thread at all?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
Do you think you make the best use of SR? maybe next time the AV is loud you could post here or go into the chat room?
Do you still go to AA? even tho it may not have stopped you drinking I still think it could be useful as another level of support.
Did you have a sponsor?
D
I think sometimes it just comes down to not listening to the AV no matter how loud it gets.
Have you looked at this thread at all?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
Do you think you make the best use of SR? maybe next time the AV is loud you could post here or go into the chat room?
Do you still go to AA? even tho it may not have stopped you drinking I still think it could be useful as another level of support.
Did you have a sponsor?
D
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Crush the AV with positivity and what sobriety will bring you
Always reach out expose your AV on the page dont let it run ragged in your mind
Were all here for you behind you 110%
Crush the AV with sobriety tell it where to go
Always reach out expose your AV on the page dont let it run ragged in your mind
Were all here for you behind you 110%
Crush the AV with sobriety tell it where to go
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
Savarna, sounds like you already got some good advice here. Other than what you are already doing and what others have posted, I would recommend reading and posting here when the urge hits. And be kind to yourself. Early sobriety is tough. Find something nice you can do for yourself-something relaxing.
Sober Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Lancashire
Posts: 170
I have accepted the fact, that AV will do anything, say anything to try and get me to drink.
I just stare in the mirror and just say, not good enough, no drinking. See you in 15 minutes. Its me or the AV and I have a knack for survival.
I just stare in the mirror and just say, not good enough, no drinking. See you in 15 minutes. Its me or the AV and I have a knack for survival.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by savarna
...when it comes to alcohol I'm a mess. It lets me forget.
It is the gift that keeps on giving. With alcohol I was able to accumulate all manner of regretful things I would rather not have...and then forget that I have them.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
Our AVs can be very strong, especially in the early stages of sobriety.
Learning to recognize it, learning how to shut it down, and learning new healthy response to AV activities was important to me.
Cravings and urges play into AV activity. I will send you a couple of links on urge during and cravings.
Learning to recognize it, learning how to shut it down, and learning new healthy response to AV activities was important to me.
Cravings and urges play into AV activity. I will send you a couple of links on urge during and cravings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
If you have decided to quit drinking, then the AV is not YOU. I mean the thoughts are yours, of course, but they come from a place that is pointed in the wrong direction. You get to pick what direction you go, and you can do it by recognizing those thoughts as being AV, and understanding they are not you. Not since you decided to quit.
You can do this. Once you have ridden through a few of these scary AV times, you will see that nothing bad happens when you separate your actions from the AV. Nothing bad at all. In a minute, or maybe a few minutes, your thoughts will have changed, and you are still there, sober.
These AV thoughts are just like any other thoughts that pop in without an invitation. They come, they go, all by themselves. No action required.
You can do this. Once you have ridden through a few of these scary AV times, you will see that nothing bad happens when you separate your actions from the AV. Nothing bad at all. In a minute, or maybe a few minutes, your thoughts will have changed, and you are still there, sober.
These AV thoughts are just like any other thoughts that pop in without an invitation. They come, they go, all by themselves. No action required.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 29
I am in my early days of sobriety as well after several attempts that failed. SR is a great place to come and even just read what others have gone through to try to remind yourself of what you may have gone through as well and what the consequences of listening to that AV would be. Tryst me Friday nights are the hardest for me and have always been. Thats why I'm on here reading and commenting too. I'm trying to ignore the deceptive voice in my head telling me it would be ok to drink tonight because its friday and I could just nost drink tomorrow but if I'm really honest with myself I know that's not true. Stick in there. Maybe play some games or read a book.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
I like and practice this:
And this is great too:
I also like: "Play the Tape forward." What will the end of your night look like after that first glass? What state would you most likely be in?
Originally Posted by soberwolf
Crush the AV with positivity and what sobriety will bring you
Originally Posted by Nonsensical
With alcohol I was able to accumulate all manner of regretful things I would rather not have...and then forget that I have them.
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