hayley86

Keep moving forward...you can do this! Best wishes.

hall65

Please dont beat yourself up, im on my third attempt. Im only 5 days in, im still scared im going to relapse again. Just start again make this your day 1. We can do it!!

ShenzyT

Awh lovely, big hugs
Please don't beat yourself up.
I've been there so many times ..... my self loathing got so bad, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I've had so many day 1's.
You can do this - you will do this.
I went to my doc last week and confessed absolutely everything about my drinking. I expected a full blown - but she was so kind and understanding.....
Make this your day 1.....it doesn't matter if you've been here before - the main thing is you never give up the fight.
xxxx

martina12

Hi GCG I'm back to day one as well...we were both in the January 2014 class. Yep I've had a wobbly year as well but I'm going to try and make it stick this year. We can do this together...

Goldcoastgirl

Thanks guys. Hi Martina, good to see u back too. It was a challenging year but hoping this one is a bit kinder. Well got thru my day somehow and looking forward to tomorrow without a hangover!

JanieJ

You are doing awesomely, Serenidad !! Really really awesomely !!Soo proud of you !!! (((())))

GCC, Serenidad went through hell before she made it stick, we all know how hard she has worked and how far she has come.

There are a lot of similar stories on here, lots of people struggle for weeks, months or years.

Like others have said, be kind to yourself hun x

FreeOwl

There is a solution....

And it starts with letting go of the struggle to type that word and becoming willing to accept it.

I'm over a year sober and I still don't 'like' that word..... But I'll type it and ill say it at meetings and like it or not I know and accept that MY life I'd better without alcohol.

I will bet you a dozen donuts or a week of green smoothies yours will be too.

AA

The plan has already been written for you. All you have to do is use it.

desypete

i will be starting my 11th year in a weeks time
i came into aa with nothing left in the world as i had drank everything and everyone away
my small kids were in care of socail workers as i and the kids mum were unfit to care for them because of the drink
i hated myself so much, the shame i had was huge yet the drink was my main problem but i just couldnt ever believe i could ever get sober

i was a 24 / 7 drunk i sold everything i had to for the drink etc

like i said that will be almost 11 years ago
what did i do that was so amazing ? i just went to an aa meeting and then i went to aa meetings day and night for the first year or more
i grew, i learned, i got better

no magic needed just a willingness to put in some real hard effort

by losing everything it turned out to be the best for me as i had to rebuild my life from scratch and stay sober the only benefit for me is that i lost it all and got it back again once i put the drink down
i got my kids back after just 12 months being sober i have been a sober single parent ever since i have a job and some money again as well

i help out a lot in aa and always try to help the new comers who come to aa as i was once there myself and go the help so i just pass on what was given to me

i lost my 16 year old son to stomach cancer 2 years ago i stayed sober throughout it all

xmas has been hard for me and the other kids but we have come through it and tried to have a good time

its amazing what an alcoholic can do when they dont drink but they have to be convinced that its the end for the drink it cost me so much to get to that point were i was convinced i hope others dont lose it all and can stop before the real damage starts as if your an alcoholic then one day you will wake up with nothing left family gone etc

the problem was i believed i was different, all those bad things in life will happen to others but never to me as if i ever i got that bad i would stop drinking

only when i got to that part in my life i found i couldn't stop drinking all the stopping and starting had come to and end and it was just drink for breakfast dinner tea supper and bed day after day getting more and more ill

i am lucky that i didn't end up dead but i wasn't to far behind those alcoholics.

so good luck to you lets hope 2015 is your year where you put the drink down but if you dont then you know you can expect to carry on hating yourself and feeling crap thats just the start of all the downward steps

Johnston

You have addiction. And it's good that you have the courage to share here.

Altoids

This is what I love about SR. No judgment. Support, wisdom, guidance, a few laughs, kindness. . . I'm glad you are here, Goldcoastgirl.

Fly N Buy

Gotta say, for years my friends and I did indeed treat each other this way! That was the problem. Fun = Pleasure = alcohol = crazy brain.

Had to find new friends and new me.

As others posted - acceptance, willingness and change are the precursors the make us ready. Sobriety is indeed a plan (of action). It has to be a daily, vigilant choice we make and doesn't just appear.......like the blue flashing lights.

Hope you find peace this years as to all!

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, Goldcoastgirl.

No judgement here. I had more Day 1's than I care to remember (thousands) and most of them consecutive. Talk about failure.

I can vividly remember the moment I poured and put down my last glass of wine; I was broken, tormented . . . .

That moment was the beginning of my acceptance ( that acknowledgment that I was an alcoholic; that I could never, ever moderate my drinking; that alcohol had absolutely nothing of value to offer me; that my active relationship with alcohol was over).

It was a long and mentally, physically, and emotionally gruesome path to that day but that day of acknowledgement and acceptance was the beginning of a sober life I never imagined could be so good. It's not without its challenges and it's not always a bed of roses but each sober day is exponentially better than my active alcoholic days.

Recovery takes work but it is worth every ounce of effort you put into it; I promise.

You can do this, Goldcoastgirl.

SR is here for you; lean on us.

enfinthechange

You are the mirror image of my drizzly UK morning. I feel like shite, and am so ashamed, but I am trying too. Never again I truly hope. good luck and stay with us xxx

Serenidad

I just saw this post JanieJ. Thank you so much. It really meant a lot. Hang in there GCC! It can be a great 2015 for all of us!

matilda123

(((Goldcoastgirl)))) Chiming in late, but I wanted to say that the above is a really key and important insight. If we stop drinking but don't replace that with self care--the kind of care and compassion we might give to a good friend--it is very hard to remain sober.

Zebra1275

What on earth is wrong with me?

Sounds like you might be an alcoholic. I'm one too! It's not a death sentence unless you let it become one. In fact, now that I'm sober my life is pretty frickin' good.

Soberjoy1

Boy, I know that feeling. Why do we do things that are self-destructive? I don't know-all I know is that at some point, we have to decide to stop for good.

This showed up in my email this morning:

"If I tried to make a change in the past but did not succeed, I realize that, in truth, I did not fail. I simply tried an approach that did not work. I learned from my efforts, and they moved me forward. By discovering what didn’t work, I am one step closer to success!"

Keep trying. Please don't hate yourself.

strategery

Goldcoastgirl, try to focus on the progress you have made this last year, get up, think about why you picked up that drink and learn from it in what to do differently next time, and try again. You can do it!

MariahGayle

Hey Girl......A whole New Year in front of you...I joined this site a year ago too & am just coming up on 30 days again, but really feeling hopeful. Remember to be kind to yourself & take it a day at a time...the first few weeks are hard. Feel free to PM me anytime. (Hugs to you)

livingnow

Your title said HATE.
Work on loving yourself. Notice I said "work"..takes time
Once you love you- treating yourself better (ie:not getting trashed) gets uber easier!