Aellyce

My opinion is that it's best to break the cycle of lies (we all lied lots as active drinkers) as soon as possible. Otherwise, if we continue with new sets of lies out of fear (that's what the type of lie in the OP is, fear of what others will think of us), this may just set off another lying lifestyle. Why not be done with all that asap? OK of course there are always exceptions, specific single situations where it's truly better to use a white lie... but not to a bunch of friends, colleagues, family etc long term.

Also, I actually think that these fears of what others might think are often pretty unsupported. I believe that most normal drinkers are really not familiar enough with alcoholism, and especially recovery, to even put the two and two together and start to think that we don't drink now because we are alcoholics. I truly believe that most people are perfectly fine with hearing that we changed a habit and don't drink now, without guessing why or judging us. Those that are not... well, better to move on from them anyway.

bunnezjp

Unfortunately I'm not lying when I say I can't ever drink again. My liver will fail again if I drink.

Bunnez

DoubleFelix

I think it depends. Recently a co-worker asked me if I drank and after I said no they asked why not. I said "Just cause I don't like it." This was a lie - the truth is "Cause I'm an alcoholic." Why didn't I say that? Loads of reasons.

So I guess it's best to be honest but I don't think we should feel ashamed to omit when necessary, especially given the stigma that's still associated with alcoholism.

ubntubnt

I think everyone's situation is different and everybody is different. Maybe she was a part of a tightly knit group of friends who were all heavy drinkers and she knew they would constantly try to get her to drink and she felt she didn't have the strength to win every time so the lie was the lesser evil. Not condoning it but I can understand it and my money would be on your hunch being right briar.

JT0626

I'm one of those people that really don't give a flying f*ck what other people think. At work I have declined happy hour invites by simply saying "No thanks". You don't need to offer any type of explanation, I don't understand why people feel like they have to explain themselves. There isn't a requirement to give an explanation after saying "no". My recovery is my own, I refuse to make a PSA about it or even lie.

ETA: People that question why you don't drink or try to get you to drink after saying no are intrusive & rude..

LBrain

Briar, have you considered that she was actually NOT lying?

hopeful4

I think it's sad to lie about it. It removes support you could be getting from other sources.

OklaBH

Could not have said it better myself! Lots of people dont drink, lots of people dont smoke, there are people who dont eat meat......It's really no big deal!

AcceptingChange

I'm not against the lying, because it's information that is personal, and people judge us by the information they know about us. She may have decided she didn't want people knowing that kind of personal information about her.

But tuberculosis? Jeez. If she was fibbing, that's a whopper.

Sotiredofitall

I've been able to excuse myself from drinking by just saying I'm allergic to alcohol...I break out in stupid every time.

Charlie117926

When I first decided to get sober, I lied to my friends just to avoid the situations. I told them I was on medication that could not be mixed with alcohol. That only works for so long. Then I just avoided everyone. That does not work either as life moves on. I finally just told everyone the truth and let the chips fall where they may. It was the best option.

With regard to lying while I was drinking... there is not a land fill big enough to contain my lies when I was drinking daily

JT0626

For real!!!

GracieLou

I have never lied about being an alcoholic but I also have never had it come up. I didn’t have any friends left to lie to. I would have kept it more to myself but a person close to me blabbed to everyone but that has never affected my recovery because the people informed did not pry into my life. They left me alone to do what I had to do. I am grateful for that.

I have never had it mentioned at work but I guess if it did I would not lie. I would simply state I am a recovering alcoholic. Now if they wanted to pry more then I may have to tell them it is my private affair and I don’t feel comfortable discussing it in detail. Unless I relapse and show up drunk at work I don’t feel it would ever come up.

If I was asked out to an after work drink gig then I would decline and simply state I don’t drink. I think many feel they owe the person asking an explanation, you don’t. The more information you give others about your personal/private life, the more they have to work with. I can simply say “No Thank you, I don’t drink but I hope you have a good time”. End conversation. If they press they I can say, “I think I made myself clear, Thanks anyway” and I can walk away.

I hate lies. I am a truth seeker. I would rather hear the truth and deal with it then to be told a lie and discover it days, weeks or months down the line. Lies hurt people. They are a cycle that does not end. The lie, then the lie to cover the lie, then more lies to explain a lie and then if the truth is discovered there are more lies. It just never ends.

I was a liar by omission. The way I handle it today is if I can’t tell all of the story or all of the truth for fear of hurting someone’s feelings or because they may not like what I have to say, then I just simply keep my mouth shut.

I find it is a better way to live then just flapping my gums about what I think people want to hear or I want them to know. There has been many times I kept my mouth shut and I was so glad I did later. I don’t have to share everything that pops into my head. I have a better filter then I did in the past. Still has holes in it though