Ruby2

Hi everyone! Bit of a slow evening I see. I picked the kids up at my parents and we hung out for a bit. My mom brought out her bingo game which kept us all occupied for a bit and was quite fun, actually.

I'm still having some urges to drink. I guess I'm processing Mr. Ruby's night out and trying to weed out my bad thinking that it would be okay. No, it wouldn't. I have to tend to me. So I went to my Friday night beginners AA meeting for a start. I will probably stick close to here. I have a boatload of cleaning and washing to do and also preparing for the return to school on Monday. Just stinks.

So hang in there Petals. I understand completely. It isn't easy to deal with someone who is drinking and is horrid at the same time. Good for you that you've stayed strong.

MM, thanks for that song. I really liked it when it came out and hearing it again is a treat. If you are familiar with St. Vincent I think she sometimes sounds like Kate Bush. Unique.

And yes, Peter Gabriel. I should have gone to his concert last year but I was newly sober and didn't want to go with husband because he was still out there. A shame. Missed opportunity.

Time to get the kids to bed. Reestablish the nightly routine. I am just going to turn a blind eye to the mess tonight. It will still be there in the morning. Talk to you all later.

strategery

*just kidding*
Thanks for the laugh Trach.

strategery

Della, you were there and I saw you. I have never tried to chat on kindle.

happyandfree

Hey Ruby...is there any way you could get a cleaning person? Even just every other week would give you some relief. When I was working a lot and not home much I had someone come every other week. It was so nice coming home from work to a clean house. And it's worth sacrifices in other areas to pay for it. Just a thought. ..you are so extended.

Ruby2

Thanks HaF. I've thought about a cleaning service but then get caught up in dreading the "cleaning for the cleaning lady" syndrome. It isn't so much the dusting and sweeping. It's the clutter and cleaning services don't get so into taking care of that. I have a fairly small house and messy kids. I may look I to hiring a drill sergeant though. That's a thought.

Kids in bed and I need to go there soon myself. Figuring out urges and then dealing with them is tiring and I haven't had to do it for a bit, so I'm a little out of practice. I'm reading through threads on here to get inspiration. I think I will go look at meditations online. I haven't done that since summer. Maybe it's time.

Ellay

So my 9 year old plays rep hockey. It is pretty competitive, but he loves it. He is a good player, but hasn't scored a goal all season. It's been bothering him quite a bit. He asked today what the sign for "getting a monkey off your back " is. He then practiced brushing off his shoulder for a bit. On a whim, I asked if he thought of asking God for a goal. He asked me how he would do that, and I told him to take a few mins before the game, and silently talk to God and ask him for help. Keep in mind we are the least religious of families - Christmas is about Santa. ( my apologies if that offends ) anyway - the game is about to start, and the boys are all waiting to go on the ice. I walk over to my son and gave him a high five, and asked if he did what we talked about. He nodded, and off he went. First shift he was on, he scored. It was amazing. I haven't seen a bigger smile, or a prouder boy ever.

melki

Ruby, petals, many hugs I can really relate, been there many times with my husband and had a very close call this New Year. There is hope though! My husband was set on having his favourite whiskey for New Year, but after talking with me changed his mind. This is a first. I am SO GRATEFUL. Have faith, have patience and whatever happens be strong for yourself!

melki

Ellay, what a wonderful story!

melki

Ruby, kids are messy and clutter is a major pain! We have to be ruthless about it. We literally do clean-up drills many times throughout the week and weekend and also made it a part of bedtime routine (5-10 mins). It's a lot easier to maintain that way. We also have a rule if they get something new, they have to choose something to give away. Your kids are old enough to contribute to housekeeping. Pick out a day when you feel strong and upbeat and start teaching them!

Ruby2

Ellay, that's great. Your son must have been on cloud nine. And you must have been so proud. Broke through there.

It's great that your husband changed his mind, Melki. It's hard when you are living with someone who is still drinking. I do have to focus on me. I was reading a codependency meditation online. I've actually found those more helpful to me, at this time, than those geared towards addiction and recovery. We seesawed back and forth on being sober for a long time before I quit again. I'm just hoping he buckles down on what he knows will work. He's been slacking. I'm getting back to my own "roots" now. Never take it for granted.

And always remember that ice cream cures cravings. now for a cone.

Ruby2

Melki, I just started the ten minute cleaning drill this week. I won't make them do longer than that at first. I just want to get them in the habit of every day. Rome wasn't built in a day. Retraining them out of bad habits. And me out of being lazy and not getting on them about it. I avoid the conflict but don't like the end results.

Ok, bed time. See you all in the morning!

melki

I understand, Ruby. We've seesawed many times here too. All you can do right now is stay your course.

melki

Good night, Ruby! GOOD! Glad you started the drills. Stay on top of it! It would be helpful if you could recruit your husband too. It will take a while and the kids will act like they are being tooooortured at first until they realize you're not about to give up and it's just easier to pick up and be done with it. I think it took us a few months at least to make it part of a routine...

Ellay

We each have a drawer in the kitchen that stuff gets put in to eliminate the clutter. Granted, the drawers are messy but the counter is clean good night , all. See you for breakfast tmrw. Who is cooking the bacon?

EndGameNYC

Some belated Christmas cheer...

melki

This is so New Yawk!

trachemys

i think i'm gonna bake a bunch of bacon for next week

melki

Bake?

trachemys

You never baked bacon? Best way to do a pound.

melki

Something new every day! I'll be whipping up something with the last of the New Year leftovers tomorrow morning. Once the coffee is made. The best part of the winter break is my kids learning to make me coffee in the morning.