tufty13

Thanks SW..... Doesn't seam to want to play for me :-(

MidnightBlue

Oh, SW , I can't believe it's been a year already!

I so distinctly remember this post of yours and how I imagined this place.

Soberwolf

Bump

IronPhoenix

good stuff SW - thanks. I am very glad I found SR.

Soberwolf

The original video is being blocked in certain regions but try these

https://vimeo.com/78740926

https://youtu.be/mer6X7nOY_o

Soberwolf

This is the 3rd time I'm playing this music video at Christmas with SR

Take this as my Christmas/holiday season card to every single member here mods tech team front page team guests Newcomers the whole lot of us

Soberwolf

Delizadee

I seriously give up on life.

I don't think it will ever get better.

I hate it. I hate it all. I hate Christmas. I wish I had died in the summer when I tried.

I am so f'ing done.
Done. I cannot. Take. Anymore.

Soberwolf

I sent you a pm DD

Sometimes life can seem so bleak I find Christmas esp hard to deal with I'm happy for everyone & myself but I still find it hard that's why being around us is so important especially if your feeling like this

SR gets this is a hard time for a lot of folk & that's why were here helping each other out or at least trying to

If you want to talk I have all the time in the world for you ok ?

Lean on us DD x I'm really glad your here x

Dee74

Hang in there Del - the transition phase is rough, but it's not forever - and life can get, and will get, really good after that.

How long have you been sober now?

D

HopeSprings

Thank you for that. I am tired. And need someone to rely on. Beautifully stated. Thank you. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Soberwolf

You can rely on SR and of course us

Delizadee

I'm back at day 0. I blew 2 months out of the water.
I just couldn't do it. I had court with my kids, made it through that with so much support.
Then my friend who helped us out last year and beginning of this year decided to call my dad and suddenly tell him I owed 2800$ in unpaid rent.
It was a lie anyways. A lot of my stuff was there... probably between 8 and 10K $ worth of stuff and she was threatening to withhold it or toss it out.

So, I got slandered and threatened and harassed. Eventually when I explained to her the laws she gave in. Told me when to come. When I went all my stuff was on the back porch in minus 40 weather. She had told both my dad and me to come face her like a woman and yet when I went there all the curtains were drawn and not a soul to be seen.

Anyway I got my stuff back. My house is now a disaster and my **** is everywhere. She told me she's going to file a claim against me (just like I told her I would if she didn't give me my stuff and it was a punishable offence)
So, if we go to court, we go to court I guess. She's not going to win... I have way too much against her and she can't even keep her own stories straight.

I have just had enough of being kicked when I'm down. Especially over Christmas. Yet ******* again. She had 8 months to pull this **** and she waits until I am financially able to get my stuff and doesn't even have the decency to confront me but calls my dad instead.

I reached out to my sponsor. I got dropped by her. She has had too many losses recently and has nothing left to give.

My counseling session got cancelled and my counselor was not to be reached.
Once again totally alone in a storm and terribly hurt and super angry and nothing to be but crap horrible things on my ex and his crappy family who've been so horrible to me and my kids. I said awful things. I hated myself as much as I hated her for what she did. All the awful things she said to me just play like a broken record in my head.

I am way beyond being able to deal with any of this stuff right now.
I can't seem to pick up the pieces or even see a bright side anymore.
I got my treatment date of January 2nd. I can't wait to get the hell in there and shut the world out for 6 weeks. And just being constantly sick all the time.
I also got my government money finally so I'll be able to cover enough rent and bills until March. My release date is February 10th.

I don't like myself anymore. At all. I have zero dignity left. I get to see my son this weekend. I can't even summon up much excitement for that. My daughter doesn't want to come. At least I have money for gifts.

What is the point of this? Why are people so cruel? I mean, I get it already. I am the world's biggest piece of ****.

So, Merry Christmas everyone. I am so full of hate and anger and giving free rent in my head to people who don't deserve it.
Ugggghhhhh.... I can't see no frikken bright light. Sober or not.
Oh yes... and the farm officially gets repossessed on January 1st.

I feel so defeated. I don't even feel like trying anymore.