ArtFriend

Thanks... I kinda like the allergy idea.

ScottFromWI

I actually use the analogy to an allergy a lot myself. My son has a fairly severe peanut allergy, and he simply knows that he cannot eat peanuts - he doesn't question it...he doesn't do it.

It's also a good illustration of how completely illogical addiction is. Consider that most people with allergies don't do any of the following. I will use my son's peanut allergy as an example:

1. Agonize for hours or days over how he might be able to someday just "have a few" peanuts.

2. Worry about why people might wonder why he is not eating peanuts, and spend hours trying to figure out what other non-peanut nuts he can eat so people won't notice.

3. Worry about how he will get through the holidays without eating peanuts.

Etc.


So while alcoholism is LIKE an allergy, it's different in that we don't think logically about it. That's where the "acceptance" comes in...you must suspend logic to surrender/accept/take a leap of faith that you simply cannot drink...and that it's OK to not drink.

Nuudawn

Really thought provoking question AF.
At varying times of my life I have admitted and accepted both wholeheartedly...but perhaps I have struggled with commitment?
Or has my acceptance not remained "static".

What has now become vitally powerful to my motivation is my wish for something as simple as "change" and "transformation"...becoming someone new and larger and open and flexible...no longer bound by the structures and defense mechanisms and maladaptive coping mechanisms of the past.

ArtFriend

Scott - that was great! I love that analogy walk through. I quit smoking 23 years ago because it was poison and bad for my health. I accepted that I can't and do not want to smoke and it is OK. Not sure why I have an issue with alcohol. Why can't I do this the same way as smoking?

Nuu - love that! Drinking is a very maladaptive coping mechanism that impairs growth. another tool to consider when quitting.

MelindaFlowers

I admitted it about five years before I accepted it. I thought maybe I could outsmart it and continue to drink without consequences. Wrong! Five years of daily drinking, declining health, daily withdrawals.

I think you accept it once you STOP. Stopping is acceptance. Not engaging in the fight. Takes two to tango, right? You accept that you no longer tango and never will. I don't engage myself with alcohol. I ACCEPT that it has nothing to offer me.

I ACCEPT that this time would be the same bad crap.

I ACCEPT I'll never be able to moderate.

I ACCEPT that I can't drink anymore.

ScottFromWI

You CAN do it, you just HAVEN'T done it yet. The act of accepting it is literally identical, and it's 100% a conscious decision you have the power to make.

Soberpotamus

The defining moment for me wasn't admittance or acceptance. I was already past that point, I think. For me, it was the moment I realized I could actually quit and stay quit. I visualized a life without alcohol and realized it could be done. And then I become exceptionally curious as to how it would be.

Soberwolf

I cant drink safely or responsibly - Admission

Knowing you cant drink - Acceptance

To fully accept why you cant drink i sometimes say write why you cant drink on a piece of paper be brutally honest and spend time doing this youl see your acceptance as you continue to write

i cant drink if i try itl end in tears this forum heartbreakingly enough is proof of that

Stay well Artfriend

Nuudawn

Yes. There is something about that curiosity isn't there? What IS behind this new door I know so very little of???

Soberpotamus

*became*

...didn't proof it

keithj

Because maybe it's different? I know guys that when the consequences got bad enough, they just gritted their teeth and up and quit a meth or heroin habit. But when it came to alcohol, they struggled for many years until they took AA's 12 Steps.

Nuudawn

There are quite a few alternative theories on this I think. Pretty sure there are some folks who would vehemently submit they required the 12 steps to kick a drug habit.

And there are folks who gave up alcohol without AA. There are many paths in recovery. Sounds like you found one that worked for you keith. Good on ya.