Simply Terrified
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Hi Peter
I find change scary.
I did a lot of hidden away, secret drinking.
I also read here a lot before joining.
I went to some AA meetings, although I don't go as much as now as I work full time and I'm a single mum.
I was terrified of people finding out.
So I just did things in my own way as quietly as possible.
A bit like the secret drinking, I did secret recovery!
The minute you go to AA, you don't have to sign up forever.
You can go and listen and decide if you want to go back or not go again.
You can try a few different meetings and get a feel for it.
I also never made any grand or formal statements about my drinking and it being a problem and wanting to stop.
I saw it as my battle to fight how I saw fit.
And I wanted to fight it quietly in my own way.
I have never to this day said it was a problem to anyone and I will be 3 years sober in Feb 2015.
If anyone has asked I have just said I want to live my life differently.
However, I am sure some people will have their own view on if my drinking was bad. There are things you can't hide! But you don't have to have a discussion about it unless you want to.
For me personally when I went to AA I found there were other people who did the same things as me in terms of drinking.
That made the battle a little easier.
It was a relief being among people who understood.
Often some of the people at AA have lost everything. I found they were willing to share the horrors that drink had brought them with me to save me from going through that too. They do that for every newcomer.
I understand change is scary, but a better life is your's for the taking if you want it.
All the time you can be in control of your recovery. You can do whats helpful, whats needed, whats not.
I would never go back to my old life now I have this life!
I wish you the best and hope you continue to come here and be part of our family.
xx
I find change scary.
I did a lot of hidden away, secret drinking.
I also read here a lot before joining.
I went to some AA meetings, although I don't go as much as now as I work full time and I'm a single mum.
I was terrified of people finding out.
So I just did things in my own way as quietly as possible.
A bit like the secret drinking, I did secret recovery!
The minute you go to AA, you don't have to sign up forever.
You can go and listen and decide if you want to go back or not go again.
You can try a few different meetings and get a feel for it.
I also never made any grand or formal statements about my drinking and it being a problem and wanting to stop.
I saw it as my battle to fight how I saw fit.
And I wanted to fight it quietly in my own way.
I have never to this day said it was a problem to anyone and I will be 3 years sober in Feb 2015.
If anyone has asked I have just said I want to live my life differently.
However, I am sure some people will have their own view on if my drinking was bad. There are things you can't hide! But you don't have to have a discussion about it unless you want to.
For me personally when I went to AA I found there were other people who did the same things as me in terms of drinking.
That made the battle a little easier.
It was a relief being among people who understood.
Often some of the people at AA have lost everything. I found they were willing to share the horrors that drink had brought them with me to save me from going through that too. They do that for every newcomer.
I understand change is scary, but a better life is your's for the taking if you want it.
All the time you can be in control of your recovery. You can do whats helpful, whats needed, whats not.
I would never go back to my old life now I have this life!
I wish you the best and hope you continue to come here and be part of our family.
xx
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