GratefulChris' Story
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Long Island NY
Posts: 22
GratefulChris' Story
So I am new here and have asked to create and share my story I guess this is the online equivalent of raising my hand in an AA meeting or speaking at an AA meeting. Okay so here goes....Hello my name is Chris and I am an alcoholic.....I started drinking when I was 18 not on a regular basis but I remember the first time I got drunk was when I was 18 years old at a July 4th party my older brother was hosting. I drank to the point of puking at the end of the night. At 19 I entered college and majored in Theatre Arts so there were cast parties the upper class men would buy me beer and I would moderately drink them at the cast party. Things continued in this vain until I was 21.
The summer of my 21st year I moved into an apt. with a friend of mine from Theatre classes-I recently recalled on my first night in the apt. I was trying to figure out what I could do and it suddenly hit me I could go buy beer at the grocery store so I did. Came home drank the beer and got a nice buzz. I eventually got a job working a salad bar at the store I bought the beer from which was good because I could buy six packs before coming home. The rest of the summer was spent drinking because the girl I thought I was going to marry dumped my ass. I don't know if it was over the drinking because 16 years later she still won't speak to me. I should probably mention this apt was in a college town and I had three bars within walking distance from my apt. Also a six pack could and would last me a couple of days at the time and hard liquor was done at the bar. My drinking now was an every night affair and would be for a long time. Side note: I was 23 when I graduated college and was dating/living with the woman that would become and still is my wife. I continued to drink increasing my tolerance for what I could put away and eventually I was able to drink a six pack, plus 3-5 oz. of whiskey and throw down shots of Jagermeister.
Shortly after turning 32 I began to notice my right hand would occasionally stop working when I was typing a work email or trying to navigate a website with a mouse. Through various doctor visits we, my wife and myself, found out I was born with the wrong kind of arotic valve-I had a bicupside valve and it should have a tricupside valve. A month later I went under the knife and had open heart surgery. I was honest about my drinking with my doctors and was told I would have to stop and foolishly thought I could. At one visit a social worker asked if I had thought about trying with AA and I told him I could do it on my own. I wasn't able to stop I "tappered" off to just beer and only on the weekends but looking back at it I can see the Weekend sometimes started on Thursday and went to Monday night. I should also mention this all happened while I was working in New York city and living to Long Island. For those familiar with the LIRR (Long Island Rail Road) you probably know about Traxx in the station it wasn't uncommon for me to "stop" in there and have a beer with a shot of whiskey or three before coming home. This continued till my cardiologist scared the **** out of me.
At that time I was 35 and it was 3 years after the heart surgery. He basically told me my heart wasn't working very well and I had to cut the alcohol out. I did and this time I went to AA meeting, however, I didn't work the program and was really "white knuckling" it. After six months I went back to drinking everynight-drinking 6-8 beers every night. This went on for about a year and a half. In the middle of this in February of this year I had a mini stroke (ITA) and was sober for a month but went back to drinking. Now we are getting to the end of one story and the binging of another.
Now we jump to September 30, 2014 the night before my nine year wedding anniversary. I drank as I usually do and for reasons that totally escapes me I started yelling at my wife and became abusive. I awoke the next day not even sure of what I had done. This led to her saying I could leave, get sober on my own, or go to rehab. I chose rehab my insurance company didn't. I was there for 4 days for detox and signed myself out AMA and came home. I started drinking again and hit rock bottom. One night my wife said I couldn't have beer we ended up having a fight and I made homicidal threats to the people in the house (my in-laws, her, my son) we currently live in. At 6 AM on 10/20/14 I had my last drink and was admitted to a lock down psych ward for six days. I came out of there and went into Intensive Outpatient Rehab, attend AA meetings daily, have a sponsor, and a sober support network-in short I am working the program this time. If you have any questions or comments please ask or PM me.
The summer of my 21st year I moved into an apt. with a friend of mine from Theatre classes-I recently recalled on my first night in the apt. I was trying to figure out what I could do and it suddenly hit me I could go buy beer at the grocery store so I did. Came home drank the beer and got a nice buzz. I eventually got a job working a salad bar at the store I bought the beer from which was good because I could buy six packs before coming home. The rest of the summer was spent drinking because the girl I thought I was going to marry dumped my ass. I don't know if it was over the drinking because 16 years later she still won't speak to me. I should probably mention this apt was in a college town and I had three bars within walking distance from my apt. Also a six pack could and would last me a couple of days at the time and hard liquor was done at the bar. My drinking now was an every night affair and would be for a long time. Side note: I was 23 when I graduated college and was dating/living with the woman that would become and still is my wife. I continued to drink increasing my tolerance for what I could put away and eventually I was able to drink a six pack, plus 3-5 oz. of whiskey and throw down shots of Jagermeister.
Shortly after turning 32 I began to notice my right hand would occasionally stop working when I was typing a work email or trying to navigate a website with a mouse. Through various doctor visits we, my wife and myself, found out I was born with the wrong kind of arotic valve-I had a bicupside valve and it should have a tricupside valve. A month later I went under the knife and had open heart surgery. I was honest about my drinking with my doctors and was told I would have to stop and foolishly thought I could. At one visit a social worker asked if I had thought about trying with AA and I told him I could do it on my own. I wasn't able to stop I "tappered" off to just beer and only on the weekends but looking back at it I can see the Weekend sometimes started on Thursday and went to Monday night. I should also mention this all happened while I was working in New York city and living to Long Island. For those familiar with the LIRR (Long Island Rail Road) you probably know about Traxx in the station it wasn't uncommon for me to "stop" in there and have a beer with a shot of whiskey or three before coming home. This continued till my cardiologist scared the **** out of me.
At that time I was 35 and it was 3 years after the heart surgery. He basically told me my heart wasn't working very well and I had to cut the alcohol out. I did and this time I went to AA meeting, however, I didn't work the program and was really "white knuckling" it. After six months I went back to drinking everynight-drinking 6-8 beers every night. This went on for about a year and a half. In the middle of this in February of this year I had a mini stroke (ITA) and was sober for a month but went back to drinking. Now we are getting to the end of one story and the binging of another.
Now we jump to September 30, 2014 the night before my nine year wedding anniversary. I drank as I usually do and for reasons that totally escapes me I started yelling at my wife and became abusive. I awoke the next day not even sure of what I had done. This led to her saying I could leave, get sober on my own, or go to rehab. I chose rehab my insurance company didn't. I was there for 4 days for detox and signed myself out AMA and came home. I started drinking again and hit rock bottom. One night my wife said I couldn't have beer we ended up having a fight and I made homicidal threats to the people in the house (my in-laws, her, my son) we currently live in. At 6 AM on 10/20/14 I had my last drink and was admitted to a lock down psych ward for six days. I came out of there and went into Intensive Outpatient Rehab, attend AA meetings daily, have a sponsor, and a sober support network-in short I am working the program this time. If you have any questions or comments please ask or PM me.
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