I got all my options now I just have to do this, but scared
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 610
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
I've made the call, and now I am stuck waiting for them to call me back. I am going to do detox first and then look into long term recovery. I am actually withdrawing pretty bad which is why I finally picked up the phone. I hope they can get me in today, I am ready for the suffering to stop and this anxiety is unreal. Called and said I am ready to do the prescreen and the lady said " call you right back" that was over an hour ago. The wait is excruciating this is already hard for me!. So thats step one, step two is the follow through after she calls me. However, as the song jet plane goes " I've packed my bag and I am ready to go"
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South Florida
Posts: 149
I am new, but have been following your posts. I am concerned you are headed for downward spiral that could lead to involuntary, or even worse, death. Take this seriously, Jeremy, your life is at stake. 30 days is nothing in terms of time, but everything in terms of life. This back and forth paddle game that you have been playing with your mental health and sobriety has got to stop. Think of what you have lost. Think about your daughter. 30 days is nothing compared to a lifetime to spend with her.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Just called them back, ladies like its real busy here I will get back to you. I am like in full detox mode and trying to get in..... She was like I am getting to you as fast as I can... This is so not cool, I am thinking of my other 2 options or going to the ER.....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Good call, rehab beats the heck out of the alternatives. Sometimes we have to stop thinking and take action. Now that you have, awesome!!! If they haven't gotten back with you yet, pester them. Keep calling til they take you.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
If you are starting to get really sick go to the ER Jeremy and like the others, I think you need the longer care facility: you need it. Scew half measures which so far have brought you nothing and take the jump to make your life better.
There is nothing to be fearful about Jeremy, right now your life is hell and bound to get even worst, mentally you are doing terrible and you are physically sick from detoxing...things can only go up from there provided that you get some help asap.
Call the other places and if they cannot take you in now, call the ER and take it from there.
There is nothing to be fearful about Jeremy, right now your life is hell and bound to get even worst, mentally you are doing terrible and you are physically sick from detoxing...things can only go up from there provided that you get some help asap.
Call the other places and if they cannot take you in now, call the ER and take it from there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
Stop thinking and start taking action. You need serious psychological help, period. You know it and being scared is normal. Bite the bullet and just do it. 30 days is NOTHING in the big scheme of things. How many days have you been away from your daughter? How many more will she have to miss you? DO IT.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Boise Idaho
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
I made the calls, I have 3 options, self commit I don't really want to do that though because they can hold you for an indefinite term.
West Care detox center 3 to 7 days of detox, this would be nice because they have medication to help with the come down they say. This option is probably my most viable option and I can transition to rehab after.
Or a 30 day facility that does both detox and rehab. This one would be a viable option but 30 days scares the hell out of me.
So Westcare it is, but now I have to do their phone prescreen ( I didn't do it this morning) and then they set a time or date for you to come in.... The prescreen I suppose is to figure out what your addicted to and how bad, and prioritize people.
The big thing is I am doing what I always do, sitting here " thinking about it".... Can you tell I am scared and nervous, I mean I have this thing with feeling like I am not in control of me, but I guess I am not anyways...
No sure why I am still here posting, I should probably get on the phone and do the prescreen, but right now I haven't committed my mind to it... Crazy things an alcoholic mind does.
West Care detox center 3 to 7 days of detox, this would be nice because they have medication to help with the come down they say. This option is probably my most viable option and I can transition to rehab after.
Or a 30 day facility that does both detox and rehab. This one would be a viable option but 30 days scares the hell out of me.
So Westcare it is, but now I have to do their phone prescreen ( I didn't do it this morning) and then they set a time or date for you to come in.... The prescreen I suppose is to figure out what your addicted to and how bad, and prioritize people.
The big thing is I am doing what I always do, sitting here " thinking about it".... Can you tell I am scared and nervous, I mean I have this thing with feeling like I am not in control of me, but I guess I am not anyways...
No sure why I am still here posting, I should probably get on the phone and do the prescreen, but right now I haven't committed my mind to it... Crazy things an alcoholic mind does.
I think it's perfectly understandable that the idea of a 30 day rehab program would be frightening. It is tantamount to giving up a certain amount of autonomy and placing your care in the hands of others. But here's the thing, you have proven time and time again that when you have autonomy you don't make good decisions (and I say that with empathy, not with judgement). I think placing your trust and care in the hands of trained professionals long term would be beneficial for you. At any rate, I am glad that you are looking at some kind of care, even if it is short term. Doing something is always better than doing nothing, and a 7 day detox program is definitely a step in the right direction.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Okay, Jeremy...If you don't get stabilized on your meds and get adequate psychiatric treatment and serious treatment for alcoholism, you are going to spiral out of control much worse than you already have, and that's risking a lot.
You've made several promises to yourself and to other people for a very long time, and the only thing that has remained stable is your being in constant crisis mode. You've had your "options in front" of you for several months and have lost almost everything and everyone meaningful to you in life. None of this has moved you to get the care you so desperately need.
You've alluded to killing yourself several times, only to deny that you would ever do such a thing. And that scares me. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
You can't stop drinking, you stop taking your meds in order to drift away to a horrific fantasy world that you seem to embrace and, as I've commented before, you stubbornly refuse to get help while all the walls are falling down around you, your wife and your daughter. What's it going to take?
It occurred to me this week that your avatar is a good representation of where you've been and where you're at. It's possible I'm the last to know. The Thinker is frozen in time and space. Not acting keeps him safe. Makes him immortal, even. But to do the same thing in real life is the moral equivalent of being buried alive.
So, yes, my fear is that you'll end up taking your own life or that you'll become a ward of the state, very much against your will. I've searched for scraps of evidence to contradict my fears, but came up empty.
You've made several promises to yourself and to other people for a very long time, and the only thing that has remained stable is your being in constant crisis mode. You've had your "options in front" of you for several months and have lost almost everything and everyone meaningful to you in life. None of this has moved you to get the care you so desperately need.
You've alluded to killing yourself several times, only to deny that you would ever do such a thing. And that scares me. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
You can't stop drinking, you stop taking your meds in order to drift away to a horrific fantasy world that you seem to embrace and, as I've commented before, you stubbornly refuse to get help while all the walls are falling down around you, your wife and your daughter. What's it going to take?
It occurred to me this week that your avatar is a good representation of where you've been and where you're at. It's possible I'm the last to know. The Thinker is frozen in time and space. Not acting keeps him safe. Makes him immortal, even. But to do the same thing in real life is the moral equivalent of being buried alive.
So, yes, my fear is that you'll end up taking your own life or that you'll become a ward of the state, very much against your will. I've searched for scraps of evidence to contradict my fears, but came up empty.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Okay, Jeremy...If you don't get stabilized on your meds and get adequate psychiatric treatment and serious treatment for alcoholism, you are going to spiral out of control much worse than you already have, and that's risking a lot.
You've made several promises to yourself and to other people for a very long time, and the only thing that has remained stable is your being in constant crisis mode. You've had your "options in front" of you for several months and have lost almost everything and everyone meaningful to you in life. None of this has moved you to get the care you so desperately need.
You've alluded to killing yourself several times, only to deny that you would ever do such a thing. And that scares me. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
You can't stop drinking, you stop taking your meds in order to drift away to a horrific fantasy world that you seem to embrace and, as I've commented before, you stubbornly refuse to get help while all the walls are falling down around you, your wife and your daughter. What's it going to take?
It occurred to me this week that your avatar is a good representation of where you've been and where you're at. It's possible I'm the last to know. The Thinker is frozen in time and space. Not acting keeps him safe. Makes him immortal, even. But to do the same thing in real life is the moral equivalent of being buried alive.
So, yes, my fear is that you'll end up taking your own life or that you'll become a ward of the state, very much against your will. I've searched for scraps of evidence to contradict my fears, but came up empty.
You've made several promises to yourself and to other people for a very long time, and the only thing that has remained stable is your being in constant crisis mode. You've had your "options in front" of you for several months and have lost almost everything and everyone meaningful to you in life. None of this has moved you to get the care you so desperately need.
You've alluded to killing yourself several times, only to deny that you would ever do such a thing. And that scares me. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
You can't stop drinking, you stop taking your meds in order to drift away to a horrific fantasy world that you seem to embrace and, as I've commented before, you stubbornly refuse to get help while all the walls are falling down around you, your wife and your daughter. What's it going to take?
It occurred to me this week that your avatar is a good representation of where you've been and where you're at. It's possible I'm the last to know. The Thinker is frozen in time and space. Not acting keeps him safe. Makes him immortal, even. But to do the same thing in real life is the moral equivalent of being buried alive.
So, yes, my fear is that you'll end up taking your own life or that you'll become a ward of the state, very much against your will. I've searched for scraps of evidence to contradict my fears, but came up empty.
Jeremy, a lot of people are really concerned for you AND your family. I hope you take this to heart. It's time to let someone else make the decision for you. Let them. Please.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Triaged at the local detox center found out I have minor withdrawal, but most of it stems from depression and anxiety. They said, I need to calm down, I get way too worked up and let fear take over. The detox center didn't have beds till Friday and they are the only detox that accepts medicaid. However, they said if I feel like i am getting worse to come back immediately and they will evaluate.
I have an appointment with the place that does inpatient on Thursday. Its one of only three places in Reno that take medicaid ( might wait list myself for all three), and all of them have wait list I found out for inpatient. I guess inpatient is in high demand. I pretty much got scared out of my mind and headed the caution of all of you and called every treatment center i could find.
However, they aren't going to leave me hanging, on Thursday they can start me on outpatient, and wait list me for inpatient. I will get to see a doc, a psychiatrist and do orientation.
Interestingly enough, they went through a huge list of stuff they treat, and they brought up gambling. They also do classes for pathological gamblers. Which, i never really thought about. So will get to address that issue too.
I have a start now, but I have a task. I am going to have to work outpatient till I can start inpatient and be exceedingly careful to not relapse. IE I plan on staying home, other than AA at the moment. Talking to lots of friends and family and most of all staying in touch and not isolating. That is a change for me.
I was given lots of resources as well, including places to call/go if I get worse or feel like I am going to relapse.
so that's the lay of the land, not exactly what I wanted, but this is a start. I am committed to follow through this time, and I am trying to do things differently.
I want to reiterate, I've calmed myself down, I am safe seeking support and thank you all for your concern, advice and comments. I have a plan and have made the right steps.
I have an appointment with the place that does inpatient on Thursday. Its one of only three places in Reno that take medicaid ( might wait list myself for all three), and all of them have wait list I found out for inpatient. I guess inpatient is in high demand. I pretty much got scared out of my mind and headed the caution of all of you and called every treatment center i could find.
However, they aren't going to leave me hanging, on Thursday they can start me on outpatient, and wait list me for inpatient. I will get to see a doc, a psychiatrist and do orientation.
Interestingly enough, they went through a huge list of stuff they treat, and they brought up gambling. They also do classes for pathological gamblers. Which, i never really thought about. So will get to address that issue too.
I have a start now, but I have a task. I am going to have to work outpatient till I can start inpatient and be exceedingly careful to not relapse. IE I plan on staying home, other than AA at the moment. Talking to lots of friends and family and most of all staying in touch and not isolating. That is a change for me.
I was given lots of resources as well, including places to call/go if I get worse or feel like I am going to relapse.
so that's the lay of the land, not exactly what I wanted, but this is a start. I am committed to follow through this time, and I am trying to do things differently.
I want to reiterate, I've calmed myself down, I am safe seeking support and thank you all for your concern, advice and comments. I have a plan and have made the right steps.
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