ScottFromWI

Remove maybe from the sentence above and I think you are on to something ;-)

I am not a regular AA attendee, and I am also not a very religious person. But i have to say that the only way that I was able to finally get sober for real was to simply accept that I am an alcoholic and that I cannot drink - ever ( without facing massive consequences ). There is no worldly/logical reason that I am this way - and while science may figure it out someday, I have to simply accept that i AM an alcoholic. Call it faith, call it what ever you want - but i had to take that leap and simply just do it.

ArtFriend

MM I am working on this myself. My motivation waxes and wanes. It is very hard to stay at it when you feel like crap and your coping mechanism for handling crappy feelings is to drink. Catch-22. It's as if your mind is being held captive by the addiction and it causes you to subvert your desires to do the right thing (stop drinking for you and your family). The addiction wants to be gratified. It is a struggle for sure. But...I think this is where the one day at a time saying bears truth... if you can get through ONE day sober then you have that in your pocket. And as the days go by, your storage of good days builds and the "addicted self" retreats a little bit more. And on days when the addiction is screaming at you, just focus on not drinking. I try not to analyze it (which is hard for me because I analyze everything) and I try to muddle through all the feelings battering me around. It's like a mini-storm and then it passes.

heartcore

Me too - what Scott and Artfriend said...

In another thread yesterday, the poster was saying that they didn't WANT to quit drinking. I identify with that. I never WANTED to. I have health consequences from drinking and continuing to drink would shorten my lifespan. And, seriously, when drinking my answer to that info is - "so f***ing what?!? - I could die in a car accident anyway" - blah, blah, blah...

If I had waited to WANT it, I would not be sober today. And I do think notice that each time that I've gotten sober in my life has been more difficult. The first time felt magical, everything was possible...that was my long sobriety, and was solid from the very first day. This last year, I had six months sober, relapsed all summer, and struggled to return. To care enough to return. I know that everyone says the "worst day sober is the best day drunk" but that wasn't true for me. I actually have had some pretty great days drunk. And some pretty miserable ones sober. BUT, when I add up my impact on those around me, the possibilities of what I might contribute to the world, etc., then sobriety takes on a higher value than drunkenness.

The parenting you are about to do puts the whole thing into another category of purpose. Parenting has NOTHING to do with what you WANT to do. Nobody wants to wake up in the middle of the night and rush their child to the emergency room with a fever. I was young when I had my first child, I certainly didn't want to commit every evening for the next decade or more caring for another being, not going out, not doing what I wanted to do. Parenting is thrust upon you and you either rise to it or you don't. In the rising, there are a million gifts, and then you DO want to stay home and do bath time and read a story more than you want to go out with friends, but that is a transformative process - you don't feel like that automatically, just because you sired a baby...

Anyway, friend, you're out of time for doing what you WANT. Done. Hope you enjoyed it...

Go ahead and promise yourself that you'll revisit your drunken self in about eighteen years if you can't promise yourself a lifetime of sobriety (that causes problems of its own, as my own re-descent into alcohol happened only after my youngest child turned 18, but whatever...)

Otherwise, time to man up.

You have all my support...

heartcore

whoops - double post

ru12

Hi MM. If you think things are bad now... Keep drinking and they will get worse. I guarantee it. I'm not going to try it guilt you, but let me remind you that you have a child coming. It is time to put away selfish things. Stop drinking right this moment. Pour out what is left. Stop buying it and going to places that have it as the main attraction. You could be six weeks sober when the baby comes and ready to welcome and care for it and your wife. Or you could be a drunken, disgusting, self-centered mess. The wonderful thing is you get to choose what is coming.

MarathonMan

Im going to quit again from monday, dont think the weekend is a good time to start so going to put it off until next week.

biminiblue

I would say now is the best time.

By Monday you'll feel much better if you stop today. Procrastination is the idea of your addiction. Wouldn't it be better to go through the withdrawal over the weekend when you can sleep and eat when you want to?

doggonecarl

Sorry, but I'm shaking my head in disbelief. And sorrow.

Don't make a deal with the devil to keep drinking.

jagger2012

MM-what I have learned is this...if you don't quit now, you're just prolonging the inevitable! You know in your heart, mind, soul, you have a problem and need to just quit. This isn't going to go away because it is truth, and the truth will always surface no matter what. I had 32 months sober at one point with numerous months sober since but am back at day 10, do not use a relapse as an excuse to continue to self destruct. Having a child is going to change your life in so many ways and by choosing to quit drinking now, those changes can be positive! Just don't drink today, worry about tomorrow when it arrives...so much support here, embrace it and know we are all behind you!

Jipsee

I remember putting it off and another year had passed. I get it, but in this game less is more and sooner is better than later. Envision the worst, it might help make the decision easier for sooner than later.

I wish we could let our children and spouses tell you how painful it is to be on the receiving end of our addictions.

MarathonMan

I look in the mirror most days and shake my head in disbelief and sorrow....nothing will change that from now until monday.

ScottFromWI

Care to share any logical reasoning behind that thought?

I'm not trying to be snarky, but really - I would encourage you to write down one logical reason why waiting until next week instead of quitting now is a good idea. Make it a rhetorical question and answer it for yourself of you don't care to share here, but i am willing to bet you can't come up with one.

least

I hope our support can help you stop drinking for good. It's hard at first but it does get better.

doggonecarl

Continued drinking certainly won't change that.

Your despair is a wall. I hope something gets through it besides alcohol.

MarathonMan

Me too but my confidence isnt very high currently.

Youre old dog in your photo reminds me of mine, not the same breed but the look on their faces is similar.

Soberwolf

You make a choice to drink now after everything after all this advice

maybe some are destined to end up like this

Do whatever you have to do but dont drink no one is controlling you and no one has a gun to your head your having a baby and your putting off sobriety

this is a dark moment your feeding into and i feel sorry for the ones your going to hurt with your actions

your wife is pregnant !

please dont drink see sense just dont drink please

Dee74

Don't do that. You're bargaining with your addiction.
Shut it down. No more dialogue with it.

You're unhappy drinking and despondent about who you've become...

why on earth give it two, three more days MM?

Make a change - today

D

heartcore

Nobody can force you or convince you to do anything you don't want to do, stubborn man, but a lot of bad can happen between now and Monday, and I'm not sure there's a lot of value added.

For some people, next Monday will never come, and - yes - that is me being dramatic, but not really.

My mother is dying of lung cancer, and she once said to me - "I didn't quit, because I kept thinking that it was the NEXT cigarette which would put me over the line for damaging my body."

I have liver damage, friend. Was it that drink I had in May or that drunk weekend in July or the one I had the previous summer which was the first that walked me across that line in the sand from which my liver was unable to recover?

And I'm not even going to talk about everybody who waited for Monday and then - drove drunk, killed another, lost their relationship, said the final cruel thing that couldn't be taken back, slipped on the garden steps, **** their pants in front of their friends, woke up in prison with no memory of how they got there, fell in the bathroom and cracked their head open on the tiles...

Because your weekend won't be like that - it'll be more of an elegant garden party sort of thing.

Or maybe just a quiet desperation staring in the mirror hating yourself kind of party.

Sorry I'm so far away, or I'd come over to your house and get all sober-pissed-off on you.

Your self-esteem can't take much more of a hit. Fix it now and wake up tomorrow a new man. Wait til Monday, and... well... who the hell knows what happens next...

Soberpotamus

The way I came to see it... with each sip of my wine I was postponing my life. I was copping out, running from reality.

Why not be brave? Stand up to your fear, today. Stand up to your despair. It's partly there because of the alcohol itself.

Life is hard. It really is. But you aren't giving yourself even a shot at things by giving in to the drinking again.

ru12

The only time you can quit is now. If you wait until Monday, it will then be now. Stop this nonsense before something awful happens. You are missing nothing of value being sober.