Findingtheway

I believe in you.

You can do this Mavis. A part of you wants to. Otherwise you'd still be drinking.

I know this...Because i lived this too...Drinking EVEN when it had LOST all appeal.

You've had alot of sober days. Get back up and get some more!

Nuudawn

Sweetie..it happens. I closed up my laptop and abandoned sobriety and the SR community after 4 months last year.

What I learned about sobriety is...I want it. I want it more than anything. Fantastic stuff happens here Mavis. It ain't for the faint of heart...BUT it IS for folks who want to grow into bigger, better wiser humans.

My money's on the fact that...that's you too!

Here's a hand..get your arse back up in the wagon.

least

I had more day ones than I want to remember. But I finally got sober for good, and so can you! Never give up!

SoberLeigh

^^^^ What Nuu said.

You can do this, Mavis.

instant

the path back to drinking is well worn. It is usually a process, that evolves and then a deliberate decision to drink is made.

heartcore

Mavis -

Just putting in another word about considering an aa meeting. I needed the face to face; it has made all the difference for me. I know that you're working at it solo, but that's not working!

If I were attempting this without a support group, in person, I would not have made it over the hump. Just too easy to drink - the AV says "no big deal, nobody really cares but you, you can always confess and start over," but there is something very powerful in building a continuous sobriety, and in slowly accumulating experiences where you overcame the AV. Like a tower that you're building out of little sticks. It is a power that accumulates inside you. Then, one day, there is simply no voice. It returns, of course, but you get longer and longer segments of its silence.

When it does occasionally speak, it is no longer compelling. Kind of like when you run into an ex, and they haven't taken care of themselves in the interim, and they are unattractive to you in all their aspects. You ask yourself, then, "huh - what was I thinking?!?" But only distance does that... When you're in the immediacy of a break-up, it is all obsessive hurt-angry text wars that feel like the most important thing in the world...

You've got to go "no-contact" for a stretch!

Good luck, sweet fairy. My wish for you is that someday your AV will speak and you'll find him whiny and boring.

Anna

Mavis, I'm sorry that you decided to drink. Do you know what you can do to prevent that from happening again?

I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery.

MavisTheFairy13

Thank you all. I am so ashamed - should be on day 2 but am still on day 1. Went with my daughter into town for xmas shopping and for some inane reason decided I deserved a beer with lunch as I don't get out very often.....

Made sure we got the next bus home so only had the one, but all the way home I was planning to get off at the stop near the shop so we could get something for dinner....oh and some wine. Thankfully the great British weather saved me as it was absolutely pouring with rain and we would have got soaked. So got off at stop near home and didn't have any more alcohol.

So, still here and still on day 1. But feeling positive. Am on my own with my son for the next 5 days as it's school holidays, he's not very well and it's constant meltdowns and self harming so if I can get through this without alcohol I can get through anything lol

Briar

I'm right there with you. We have to keep trying.

Buggirl

So sorry to hear you relapsed, but I too have had relapses and like some have said, face to face help is good. Now I have AA I am never going back! I look at alcohol in the same way I look at cigarettes now and think oh my goodness, I used to pay how much to feel crap? You can do this!

FreeOwl

For what it's worth I'll offer a third voice in favor of AA.

I had countless days feeling like this, until I got serious about including AA in my sobriety.

It gave me a clear plan. It gave me action. It gave me real human support. It made all the difference none of my willpower ever could.

Soberwolf

4th voice in favor of Aa

Mavis you need to start tackling this from a fresh perpective

going at it again in the same will always produce the same result

What have you been doing diffrently or do you think now is the time to start thinking about tweaking your plan

Do you have a plan M ?

heath480

Mavis,sorry you are stil on Day 1.

It really is time for you to do something different to achieve sobriety.

I tried for years to do it on my own,all that happened is my drinking got worse.

chickippo

AA did it for me. it took me 6 months to get it, but i now have 6 months sober and i credit AA with that.

i'm in the UK too - AA is not like you see on American movies. you don't have to say a word - just go along and listen. try a few different meetings and look for the similarities with your story, not the differences.

if you don't change anything, nothing will change. you are giving yourself permission to drink - right now you seem stuck in a loop that a bad day means you 'deserve' a drink.

you deserve to be sober. life can be sweet, but you do have to work at it.

be well.