Serenidad

Hi all,

So I'm laying here trying to take a little nap (fortunately I work from home so I can do that sometimes) and I start to get a craving for no reason out of no where!

I find my Urge Surfing mediation and listen to that and do everything they say to do. Then I try again to take a nap. I'm still laying here obsessing about alcohol.

October 24th (this Thursday) it will be exactly one year since I relapsed after almost 6 years of sobriety. A thought came into my mind "HEY! Why don't you drink tonight and if you keep drinking after midnight your last drink will actually be on 10/23 which means your sobriety date will be 10/24. Then you can say you relapsed for exactly ONE year! Cool!" WTF? Such insane thinking!

SOMETHING ELSE....does anyone find that constantly focusing on NOT drinking makes you want to drink?

I'm either praying to not drink, on SR reading, in AA, reading AA books, reading other recovery material, Urge Surfing, listening to AA leads on YouTube, etc etc etc. No wonder all I think about is alcohol!

Does anyone else feel that way? Thanks in advance!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

GracieLou

How about we pray for you?

Dear God, please help Serenidad. May he be set free. Every day that we live sober is a blessing. Blessing today to all people, but especially for those suffering the pain of addiction.

Amen

Lenina

It's a cunning, baffling and powerful. But it does pass. I've been sober coming up on seven years (December 1) it does get better. What are you using for support? I found AVRT and
Rational Recovery works very well for me.

Love from Lenina

Stewy84

Is there anything you can do hobby related that's totally separate from any AA, SR, or other alcohol related stuff?

I have huge respect for people I've read about on here and your story is no different (I'm only 3 full days in so completely new!)

The reason I suggest is that I play in a band and when I play the guitar I use it as a release of tension and try to play completely in the present moment. It provides an escape from usual thought

I hope you are alright

ghostdad

Yes. I find I have to distract my mind by doing other things like reading a book. I just read 2 books over the past 3 days. My wife thinks I read too much but getting lost in a good story helps keep my mind off of alcohol. I am 99 days sober and my cravings are still pretty strong. Maybe because I was forced to quit because of health reasons instead of quitting on my own. Not that I don't like being sober, it had to happen, but at the time I didn't know how or didn't want to quit. I think its possible to become obsessed over it so you need to rethink your strategy and find some helpful distractions. Take a walk, read a book, call your sponsor, just don't drink.

Ellay

I totally hear you on the recovery materials - I am in info overload and sometimes it just gets too much!
Since you aren't napping - drop and do 20 push ups. Then 20 jumping jacks. Now do more push ups. Then jumping jacks. Repeat till the craving is over.

DoubleBarrel

Can you go to a meeting? Perhaps it would be good to see someone who is newly sober, and all the hurt, pain, and anxiety are fresh.

We forget. Remember the reasons you quit. Not what you liked about drinking. Your AV is lying to you. Its like a dirty devil that will say ANYTHING to get what it wants.

Which is you dead.

Stewy84

Oh yeah, I also do insanity (cardio workout) done by some guy called Shaun T- high intensity, really gets your heart beating fast. That works too

DoubleBarrel

Oh, and BTW, I know people don't want to hear this, but one year is new in recovery.

You are through the symptoms of (early) recovery, but now its time to learn to live. Without alcohol.

I read that you do go to AA. Call your sponsor. Go exercise. Eat some sugar.

Soberwolf

Hope you feel better soon

awuh1

As already suggested, I have a feeling that some regular exercise will help, particularly if depression has been an issue for you.

countrygirl2014

Some great suggestions here. I hope you feel better. Being under 30 days, I just want to remind you of the intense emotional ups and downs, the regrets, the cloudiness, the dehydration, the irrational thoughts and the headaches you worked so hard to alleviate. Do you want to do all that again? Focus on the relationships and what you have gained as a result of not drinking. Don't focus on the alcohol itself. And yes...reading is a great place to quiet the mind. I read fiction when my brain gets to busy.

least

Don't focus on "not drinking" - that's a negative. Focus on "staying sober" - a positive.

andyroo72

Hey there,

Maybe try and do something that you can get totally immersed in? Maybe go see a really good movie, play paintball, go to the art gallery. I'm thinking something that means you can lose track of yourself for a few hours :=]

Meraviglioso

You can do this. You have been a big inspiration for me, I know you can get through this. I know it is tough but you are going to be so thankful you didn't drink. Stay strong, this craving is going to pass. I very rarely pray, but I will say a prayer now for you.

AlcoholFree66

Hi Serenidad - you're coming up to a significant anniversary I think that makes the AV more prominent. It has worked that way for me and others on SR have mentioned that to me.

Surf that urge and treat yourself to something special (and non alcoholic) on your anniversary.

Soberpotamus

What helped me was when I realized I no longer had drinking has an option. That freed me up to go on and live my life

Least suggested focusing on the positive aspect... I agree totally. You are sober now. You can see it as "embracing sobriety" rather than "not drinking" if that helps.

Maybe it's just time for some soul-searching and being still within yourself? I know I did. I had to learn how to "just be" and learn to see myself as a human being and not a human doing.

andyroo72

That is great! Thank you :=]

Anna

I agree with Jennie, that accepting that drinking was no longer an option was a turning point for me.

I hope you feel better, Serenidad.

pupkin

Hey Serenidad, I've had moments like that, too, where I felt like alcohol was more a part of my life (ie more constantly on my mind) in sobriety than it was when I was actually drinking. It makes sense given the focus we're devoting to this new (better, healthier, but still extremely challenging) life. I like what least said--flip the thinking to "being sober" rather than "not drinking." And major congrats on your upcoming year!! I'm using you as inspiration.