Your definition of having recovered??
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Your definition of having recovered??
Day 26
Has the 1 month mark is coming, I feel a lot different these days...
Still sober, of course, and i don't really have the desire to drink anymore! I rarely think about it. There's always the weekends that are tougher, but it's really not like in the beginning... it's WAY EASIER to resist because the intensity of the desire to drink is to an all-time low! Even monday of this week, getting out of bed, I didn't even had the simple positive thought of being proud of myself because I made it through the weekend sober... I thought about it, of course, but not to make me proud, like it was normal!
I'm not letting my guards down, I remember how I was when I was drunk, and the hugly guilt feeling the next day, the crying in my car on my way to work, the low energy level all day and the worst feeling of it all: the ''letting the devil win'' around 4pm and getting some more booze for the night and the AV making me say to myself ''aaaahh **** it, we know you have a problem, w'll take care of it one day, but not today''...
Oh!! I do remember everything like it was yesturday and I force myself to keep the focus on the hugly sides... because I feel so great and so strong, that I even question myself if I was an alcoholic in the first place...
I always thought I was one, because I was loosing control over my drinking and alcohol ruled my life for many many years, looking forward to my next buzz and living for it... but I feel like I have recovered at....let's say.... 80%...... already? is that possible? I really feel like I'm off the hook and that I have a new life now!!
I guess that christmas time will be the real test for me! If I can hang among people that drinks without any temptations... then I guess I'll have the anwser to my question...
Or should I ask the question: Having fully recovered is being able to hang among people that drink without any temptations?? Even being discust by it?
Am I the only one feeling this way only after 1 month sober?
Has the 1 month mark is coming, I feel a lot different these days...
Still sober, of course, and i don't really have the desire to drink anymore! I rarely think about it. There's always the weekends that are tougher, but it's really not like in the beginning... it's WAY EASIER to resist because the intensity of the desire to drink is to an all-time low! Even monday of this week, getting out of bed, I didn't even had the simple positive thought of being proud of myself because I made it through the weekend sober... I thought about it, of course, but not to make me proud, like it was normal!
I'm not letting my guards down, I remember how I was when I was drunk, and the hugly guilt feeling the next day, the crying in my car on my way to work, the low energy level all day and the worst feeling of it all: the ''letting the devil win'' around 4pm and getting some more booze for the night and the AV making me say to myself ''aaaahh **** it, we know you have a problem, w'll take care of it one day, but not today''...
Oh!! I do remember everything like it was yesturday and I force myself to keep the focus on the hugly sides... because I feel so great and so strong, that I even question myself if I was an alcoholic in the first place...
I always thought I was one, because I was loosing control over my drinking and alcohol ruled my life for many many years, looking forward to my next buzz and living for it... but I feel like I have recovered at....let's say.... 80%...... already? is that possible? I really feel like I'm off the hook and that I have a new life now!!
I guess that christmas time will be the real test for me! If I can hang among people that drinks without any temptations... then I guess I'll have the anwser to my question...
Or should I ask the question: Having fully recovered is being able to hang among people that drink without any temptations?? Even being discust by it?
Am I the only one feeling this way only after 1 month sober?
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
I'd say for one to feel comfortable enough in their sobriety to say recovered would have to experience life's challenges and celebrations sober for a period of time before making such a declaration. That would take time. Maybe 6 months for one and 40 yrs. for the next. Myself, I lean toward the literal in that I'm recovered if I'm not drinking (sober). As for traversing life sober...well...I'll have to get back to you. It's always in flux but I'm thinking and acting healthier than when I was a drunk.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
I will always be recovering. It doesn't matter how well I deal with situations and feelings that no longer tempt me. It doesn't matter how much I may have my addiction beat, because I'll never have it beat. It's in check.
Bunnez
Bunnez
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Actualy, you know what, I feel like deleting my post, because i feel bad for asking if I have recovered after only 1 month sober... I really do!! I don't want to feel cocky! it's the last thing I want... But I said to myself that I will always be honest with myself and letting go my feelings on to this board and this is what I'm doing today........ even tho it makes me feel bad right now....
sorry about that... honnestly...
sorry about that... honnestly...
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Originally Posted by bunnezjp 
I will always be recovering. It doesn't matter how well I deal with situations and feelings that no longer tempt me. It doesn't matter how much I may have my addiction beat, because I'll never have it beat. It's in check.
Bunnez
Bunnez
Thank you
thank you
thank you
Recovering
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 99
Originally Posted by AlexEmk
Day 26
Has the 1 month mark is coming, I feel a lot different these days...
Still sober, of course, and i don't really have the desire to drink anymore! I rarely think about it. There's always the weekends that are tougher, but it's really not like in the beginning... it's WAY EASIER to resist because the intensity of the desire to drink is to an all-time low! Even monday of this week, getting out of bed, I didn't even had the simple positive thought of being proud of myself because I made it through the weekend sober... I thought about it, of course, but not to make me proud, like it was normal!
I'm not letting my guards down, I remember how I was when I was drunk, and the hugly guilt feeling the next day, the crying in my car on my way to work, the low energy level all day and the worst feeling of it all: the ''letting the devil win'' around 4pm and getting some more booze for the night and the AV making me say to myself ''aaaahh **** it, we know you have a problem, w'll take care of it one day, but not today''...
Oh!! I do remember everything like it was yesturday and I force myself to keep the focus on the hugly sides... because I feel so great and so strong, that I even question myself if I was an alcoholic in the first place...
I always thought I was one, because I was loosing control over my drinking and alcohol ruled my life for many many years, looking forward to my next buzz and living for it... but I feel like I have recovered at....let's say.... 80%...... already? is that possible? I really feel like I'm off the hook and that I have a new life now!!
I guess that christmas time will be the real test for me! If I can hang among people that drinks without any temptations... then I guess I'll have the anwser to my question...
Or should I ask the question: Having fully recovered is being able to hang among people that drink without any temptations?? Even being discust by it?
Am I the only one feeling this way only after 1 month sober?
Has the 1 month mark is coming, I feel a lot different these days...
Still sober, of course, and i don't really have the desire to drink anymore! I rarely think about it. There's always the weekends that are tougher, but it's really not like in the beginning... it's WAY EASIER to resist because the intensity of the desire to drink is to an all-time low! Even monday of this week, getting out of bed, I didn't even had the simple positive thought of being proud of myself because I made it through the weekend sober... I thought about it, of course, but not to make me proud, like it was normal!
I'm not letting my guards down, I remember how I was when I was drunk, and the hugly guilt feeling the next day, the crying in my car on my way to work, the low energy level all day and the worst feeling of it all: the ''letting the devil win'' around 4pm and getting some more booze for the night and the AV making me say to myself ''aaaahh **** it, we know you have a problem, w'll take care of it one day, but not today''...
Oh!! I do remember everything like it was yesturday and I force myself to keep the focus on the hugly sides... because I feel so great and so strong, that I even question myself if I was an alcoholic in the first place...
I always thought I was one, because I was loosing control over my drinking and alcohol ruled my life for many many years, looking forward to my next buzz and living for it... but I feel like I have recovered at....let's say.... 80%...... already? is that possible? I really feel like I'm off the hook and that I have a new life now!!
I guess that christmas time will be the real test for me! If I can hang among people that drinks without any temptations... then I guess I'll have the anwser to my question...
Or should I ask the question: Having fully recovered is being able to hang among people that drink without any temptations?? Even being discust by it?
Am I the only one feeling this way only after 1 month sober?
The only real person who can tell you is yourself.. I think when it affects ur life,work mental or physical.. then its a problem.
I think I could recover fairly quickly.. however when I do feel better It's always so easy to think 'ah I'm good ill have a drink now' and then u end up back on day 1.
Stay strong your doing very well!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Wow Alex, it's great that you're doing so well! For me, I don't know that I'll ever apply the label recovered to myself. I don't mean that in a negative way really, I guess living sober every day is enough for me and that's what I'll use as my personal measure of success. Also, I know I had a bad bad bad relationship with drinking, but I don't think too much about the label alcoholic...although in the way I interpret the term, it does apply to me. I think you do yourself a favor by not letting your guard down. Congratulations on your success my friend! I am happy for you.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
You're welcome. Don't delete your post. And you should think how you think, not like anyone else. I'm glad that you feel good, 1 month is awesum. Just keep that good feeling in mind, and grow with it.
You'll be fine
Bunnez
You'll be fine
Bunnez
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Montreal
Posts: 135
I'm just dealing better with situations and the fact that the desire to drink is at my all-time low doen't mean I have 80% recovered... and recovering shouldn't be a goal to get! It's more a state of mind that always will be present!
(I had to wright it down again... to get it into my head)
You've hit the bulleye Bunnezjp!! Thanks again!
(I had to wright it down again... to get it into my head)
You've hit the bulleye Bunnezjp!! Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I have days still where having a drink seems like a comfortable place to go. For about a minute - then I remember how it really was.
I agree that I am recovered as long as I don't pick up that first drink. Some days are easier than others, and even though I knew at one month that "this is it" I also knew that there would be days when I would think, "well, but..."
I'm glad you're feeling so strong. It's a good place to be. Don't beat yourself up over your confidence!
I agree that I am recovered as long as I don't pick up that first drink. Some days are easier than others, and even though I knew at one month that "this is it" I also knew that there would be days when I would think, "well, but..."
I'm glad you're feeling so strong. It's a good place to be. Don't beat yourself up over your confidence!
A.K.A Bri
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 159
Kudos to you for feeling so good! I remember feeling good quicker than I expected to as well. & even now, at almost 90 days, I sometimes wonder if it's normal for someone with alcoholism to have reached the point in my recovery I'm at as quickly as I have. I've been in open bar restaurants, I've had liquor offered to me, and even yesterday I went to the liquor store to pick up a bottle for my dad with no desire to buy anything for myself or have any of his.
On the other hand, I'm just now beginning to experience post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS)... If you haven't heard of it, def do some research. *HERE'S A GOOD ARTICLE* I didn't even know it existed until I started experiencing it recently. For me it didn't come in the form of blatantly wanting a drink but instead in general bouts of anxiety / insomnia / etc. which were feelings that I used to try and ease by drinking. So I've had to be more aware of and cautious of these feelings and handle them in healthy ways instead of doing what I'd normally do and drink to feel comfort. & PAWS doesn't come in the early stages of recovery like I expected withdrawal symptoms would... So while it's good to feel accomplished, still stay cautious.
The biggest thing I guess is that we're all different and bc of that, we all experience recovery differently. But no matter how good I feel, I consider myself in recovery every day. & that I'll be recovering forever because I know that no matter how long I'm sober, with just one drink I won't be able to control it like a non-alcoholic and will be back to where I started.
SO... Congrats on day 26! Keep going. Don't feel bad about feeling great and being proud of your progress. & take it a day at a time.
-B
On the other hand, I'm just now beginning to experience post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS)... If you haven't heard of it, def do some research. *HERE'S A GOOD ARTICLE* I didn't even know it existed until I started experiencing it recently. For me it didn't come in the form of blatantly wanting a drink but instead in general bouts of anxiety / insomnia / etc. which were feelings that I used to try and ease by drinking. So I've had to be more aware of and cautious of these feelings and handle them in healthy ways instead of doing what I'd normally do and drink to feel comfort. & PAWS doesn't come in the early stages of recovery like I expected withdrawal symptoms would... So while it's good to feel accomplished, still stay cautious.
The biggest thing I guess is that we're all different and bc of that, we all experience recovery differently. But no matter how good I feel, I consider myself in recovery every day. & that I'll be recovering forever because I know that no matter how long I'm sober, with just one drink I won't be able to control it like a non-alcoholic and will be back to where I started.
SO... Congrats on day 26! Keep going. Don't feel bad about feeling great and being proud of your progress. & take it a day at a time.
-B
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
For me the more and more I view myself as a "non drinker" in this world the more I can view things as "recovered", simply removing alcohol was not enough for me to create longterm results.
Instead I needed to carve out a new way of life for myself, new activities, new friends, routines that no longer revolved around alcohol and drinking.
Attending events and being comfortable simply being a "non drinker" reassures me that there has been a substantial shift in paradigm from clinging onto simply not drinking and resisting alcohol each day to something beyond that and being much more of substance.
Being pro active and having a new Sober lifestyle, a new life compared to my old way of life was the penny that finally needed to drop for me!!
Instead I needed to carve out a new way of life for myself, new activities, new friends, routines that no longer revolved around alcohol and drinking.
Attending events and being comfortable simply being a "non drinker" reassures me that there has been a substantial shift in paradigm from clinging onto simply not drinking and resisting alcohol each day to something beyond that and being much more of substance.
Being pro active and having a new Sober lifestyle, a new life compared to my old way of life was the penny that finally needed to drop for me!!
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Location: Montreal
Posts: 135
Originally Posted by XIIIXXIXXVI
Kudos to you for feeling so good! I remember feeling good quicker than I expected to as well. & even now, at almost 90 days, I sometimes wonder if it's normal for someone with alcoholism to have reached the point in my recovery I'm at as quickly as I have. I've been in open bar restaurants, I've had liquor offered to me, and even yesterday I went to the liquor store to pick up a bottle for my dad with no desire to buy anything for myself or have any of his.
On the other hand, I'm just now beginning to experience post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS)... If you haven't heard of it, def do some research. *HERE'S A GOOD ARTICLE* I didn't even know it existed until I started experiencing it recently. For me it didn't come in the form of blatantly wanting a drink but instead in general bouts of anxiety / insomnia / etc. which were feelings that I used to try and ease by drinking. So I've had to be more aware of and cautious of these feelings and handle them in healthy ways instead of doing what I'd normally do and drink to feel comfort. & PAWS doesn't come in the early stages of recovery like I expected withdrawal symptoms would... So while it's good to feel accomplished, still stay cautious.
The biggest thing I guess is that we're all different and bc of that, we all experience recovery differently. But no matter how good I feel, I consider myself in recovery every day. & that I'll be recovering forever because I know that no matter how long I'm sober, with just one drink I won't be able to control it like a non-alcoholic and will be back to where I started.
SO... Congrats on day 26! Keep going. Don't feel bad about feeling great and being proud of your progress. & take it a day at a time.
-B
On the other hand, I'm just now beginning to experience post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS)... If you haven't heard of it, def do some research. *HERE'S A GOOD ARTICLE* I didn't even know it existed until I started experiencing it recently. For me it didn't come in the form of blatantly wanting a drink but instead in general bouts of anxiety / insomnia / etc. which were feelings that I used to try and ease by drinking. So I've had to be more aware of and cautious of these feelings and handle them in healthy ways instead of doing what I'd normally do and drink to feel comfort. & PAWS doesn't come in the early stages of recovery like I expected withdrawal symptoms would... So while it's good to feel accomplished, still stay cautious.
The biggest thing I guess is that we're all different and bc of that, we all experience recovery differently. But no matter how good I feel, I consider myself in recovery every day. & that I'll be recovering forever because I know that no matter how long I'm sober, with just one drink I won't be able to control it like a non-alcoholic and will be back to where I started.
SO... Congrats on day 26! Keep going. Don't feel bad about feeling great and being proud of your progress. & take it a day at a time.
-B
I intend to change my attitude towards my recovery as I also realise that i,m one drink away from starting back all over again...
Congrats on your 90 days! That's truly amazing!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I quit my drug use in 1986-87. Called myself a recovered drug addict. Twenty years later I relapsed on oxy.
Five years later relapsed on pot.
I don't think I'll ever call myself recovered.
Five years later relapsed on pot.
I don't think I'll ever call myself recovered.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by bunnezjp
I will always be recovering. It doesn't matter how well I deal with situations and feelings that no longer tempt me. It doesn't matter how much I may have my addiction beat, because I'll never have it beat. It's in check.
Bunnez
Bunnez
The only times that I've ever been able to stay sober for any respectable period is when I give my addiction respect and recognize that the compulsion is the strongest force in my thoughts and life.
It's a part of me, and I believe that it always will be. I will never be "cured"; my addiction will never be "beat". But I will keep it in check.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
[QUOTE=AlexEmk;4956505]I guess that christmas time will be the real test for me! If I can hang among people that drinks without any temptations... then I guess I'll have the anwser to my question...[QUOTE]
Such events, for me, were never a litmus test for my sobriety, unless of course were I to drink. I wouldn't put too much stock in your successfully remaining sober during holidays, weddings or the opening of a new supermarket.
Similar to trying to define such states as being in love, you may not be able to describe being recovered in any particularly satisfying way, but you'll know when you're there.
Such events, for me, were never a litmus test for my sobriety, unless of course were I to drink. I wouldn't put too much stock in your successfully remaining sober during holidays, weddings or the opening of a new supermarket.
Similar to trying to define such states as being in love, you may not be able to describe being recovered in any particularly satisfying way, but you'll know when you're there.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 267
Congrats, Alex! Great to hear you're doing so well. Actually I'm almost exactly with you--day 25, the month mark coming up, and feeling the same way. Just a quick word to the wise: sad to say but I've been here, feeling like this, before. And I've ended up back to where I started. This time I'm going to try very hard to remember that I've put this "recovered" feeling to the test in the past and the results weren't great. In the meantime here's both of us sailing past 30 days and on. (That was a non-alcoholic toast btw :-) ) Congrats again!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Montreal
Posts: 135
''Recovery is not about quitting alcohol and drugs. It is about learning to live a life that does not require mood-altering chemicals to be worth living.''
Thanks B... the link that you gave me was an amazing read! I really didn't know anything about PAWS!
Thanks B... the link that you gave me was an amazing read! I really didn't know anything about PAWS!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Congratulations on 26 days, that is amazing. I agree that everyone is different and you will just know when you have gotten there. I tend to fall more in line with Bunnez line of thinking, I don't know that I every will consider myself fully recovered, just that I will arrive at a place that I have things generally under control. I would also hesitate to say that simply not partaking where alcohol is present could be considered "recovered"
I'll give an example. Today I attended a business lunch. Wine was ordered and served and I declined. My boss insisted I try the wine and told the sommelier "ah just pour her a sip" which he did and again I declined saying I had felt under the weather and didn't want to drink while sick. Again they both "encouraged" (read: pressured) me to try the wine. Not secure enough to just "grow a pair" and refuse as any person should be able to do I instead decided to fake a sip to appease them. I brought the glass to my lips, could smell the wine and then tipped the glass back, allowing the wine to reach just far enough in the glass that it appeared to them that I was drinking but to not actually touch my lips. I am taking antabuse and this would be risky for me. It was a harrowing moment for me. I didn't want to drink and was very annoyed at having to go through this puppet show. I didn't feel tempted and I didn't want to drink. Do I consider myself recovered because I was able to successfully do this? Far from it. I just consider myself lucky today.
I'll give an example. Today I attended a business lunch. Wine was ordered and served and I declined. My boss insisted I try the wine and told the sommelier "ah just pour her a sip" which he did and again I declined saying I had felt under the weather and didn't want to drink while sick. Again they both "encouraged" (read: pressured) me to try the wine. Not secure enough to just "grow a pair" and refuse as any person should be able to do I instead decided to fake a sip to appease them. I brought the glass to my lips, could smell the wine and then tipped the glass back, allowing the wine to reach just far enough in the glass that it appeared to them that I was drinking but to not actually touch my lips. I am taking antabuse and this would be risky for me. It was a harrowing moment for me. I didn't want to drink and was very annoyed at having to go through this puppet show. I didn't feel tempted and I didn't want to drink. Do I consider myself recovered because I was able to successfully do this? Far from it. I just consider myself lucky today.
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