Tetra

I will be 34 on Saturday. Sometimes I feel like I have wasted my life. I spent much of my 20s hiding in my room, drinking and "studying" and afraid of everything. I don't know what. These days I just feel like "*** this".

I am 3 months sober since 12th October.

My brother keeps e-mailing me about wedding plans. They are getting married on NYE. He says I give good advice and he keeps asking "will so-and-so be upset if we invite xyz person?" I have already had one aunt tell me she's not going if one particular person is going. All that's going on in my head is "not my circus, not my monkeys". Today I just told him "it's your special day. Invite whoever you want and to hell with everyone else". I have started saying "I don't know who they invited. We'll find out on the day".

There is two and a half months to go and I am stressed about it. My mom is coming home by the end of the month and I guess I'm worrying about that too.

Today I got "the plan"...family photos at 2:00, church at 3:00 and dinner at 6:30. I hate weddings. Making polite small talk with strangers. And then the dancing and people drinking...ugh.

I mean really, will all this matter in 6 months time? I don't think so.

Thanks for letting me rant!!

MavisTheFairy13

It's nice that your brother wants your input on the wedding but does he realise how much it's stressing you? Does he know that you have recently given up drinking? If so then just explain to him that you have a lot of pressure at the moment and need to concentrate on your sobriety. I can imagine how frustrating it is trying to deal with the petty issues of relatives not wanting to see each other, while you are doing something life changing!

PurpleKnight

My sister got married last summer, and I know what you mean, stressing over minor details that 3 months later no one can even remember.

But in the moment it was the biggest thing in my sister's life so I just went along with the constant calls and texts asking questions on a daily basis, it all turned out alright in the end.

Also on your age, I'm sure there'll be a few along soon to say that 34 is hardly over the hill on the way to the grave, far from it!!

Soberwolf

3 months is proper awesome tetra

bunnezjp

Congrats on your 90!

Bunnez

jryan19982

Honestly if person x isnt going to go because person y is going only because person z is going to sit with person y... who cares? If those xyz people are that self centered they should not be invited at all. Ok maybe that is harsh but they all need to get over whatever petty or trivial things they feel for other certain people who may or may not be going because IT'S NOT THEIR DAY!

PS 90 days is amazing!